Sensual Femdom

Not Your Typical Foreplay!

2011-06-16T12:22:00.000-04:00

I love a good spanking, but sometimes it is more fun to punish and torment j in more creative ways. Several days ago he requested to use my electric razor because he forgot to buy shaving cream. I allowed him to use it, but made a mental note to take advantage of the situation later.

I walked into the bedroom to find j facing his dresser, sorting out some clothes. I came up behind him, reached around and hit him in the balls. He yelped in a combination of shock and pain. I hit him again and then pushed him backwards onto the bed. Climbing on top of his body, I kissed him passionately, pressing my knee firmly up against his groin as I gently bit his bottom lip. A few minutes of passionate kissing left us both aroused and wanting more.

"Your face is a mess," I admonished him. "My razor is not a good substitute. I can't have you going around looking like this." I reached for the tweezers I left on the bedside table and began pinching them near his face, teasing him. One by one, I used the tweezers to yank the hairs out of his face. Sometimes he just flinched a bit, but other times he yelped and rubbed his face. After tackling stray whiskers, I thinned out his eyebrows.

As I continued to torture him, I felt myself becoming more aroused and knew I needed to take him. I ordered him to undress, quickly removed my pants and, still wearing my shirt, rode him. I grabbed onto the headboard to give myself extra leverage and rode him hard and fast, forcing him deeper into my body. As turned on as I was from teasing him, it didn't take long for me to climax. And, feeling generous, I let him cum as well. What a lucky boy he is!

Growing Even Hotter with Your Help

2011-06-11T09:39:00.000-04:00

I've been faced with a conundrum and I need your help. The blog is growing by leaps and bounds - a fact I absolutely love. I have purchased a domain (thesensualfemdom.com), and intend to expand upon the blog. I also purchased a professional mic for podcasts.

The conundrum is this: I really want to keep my content free. I want to add podcasts and erotica I have written. I want to expand the site and allow my readers to quickly sort through the vast number of posts. I want to incorporate more interaction between my readers and myself... but all of this costs money. Thus far I have spent nearly two hundred dollars just in the past couple weeks between the domain and the mic. Craziness!

I do not want to bog the site down with advertisements and such. Since the beginning, my sole advertisement has been a small Stockroom ad, but revenue has been slow.

Please, if you like my site are going to make D/s toy and gear purchases, click through the links below and make your purchase through them. You will still pay the same price, but I will receive a small percentage of the money you spend. This will allow me to add more content to the site and keep it FREE. I will ONLY recommend my favorite D/s retailers... ones I have personally shopped with and enjoy.

I appreciate all of you and look forward to growing The Sensual Femdom into the ultimate resource for Femdoms and their submissives.

Stockroom - If you haven't heard of Stockroom, you are seriously out of the loop! Stockroom has an impressive assortment of BDSM gear, fetish wear and toys. From light D/s play to more intense BDSM scenes, Stockroom will get you fully equipped. I have made many purchases through them and have always been pleased.

Extreme Restraints - Another fantastic BDSM etailer. They have a huge array of toys! I believe their selection in some areas is even greater than Stockroom. Customer service is friendly and helpful as well. Again, I have shopped with them on multiple occasions and have had no problems!

Domme On Top Is The Best!

2011-06-09T15:26:00.000-04:00

j and I have a history of trying all sorts of different sexual positions. There are times we will have sex porno-style, changing positions often, but it seems no matter how we may start I always end up on top. Appropriate, I know!

My favorite position is me squatting on top of j as he lays on his back. Sometimes I have him tied to the bedposts, and other times I allow him to be free. I like that I can tease him- ever so slowly lowering myself down until I am just barely touching his cock before lifting up again. This gives me a far greater level of control. I can ride him hard and fast and then lift up completely, or I can take my time, giggling as he humps the air desperate for my touch. This position allows me to use my hands as well, rubbing and tapping my clit. The position requires strong leg muscles, as the thighs do all the work. Essentially I get my workout with an orgasm!

Sometimes I prefer to ride him in the standard fashion. This position is great because it allows for more intimacy. Our bodies are close, and I can grind my pelvis around. I like to press my clit up against his pubic bone as I grind my hips from side to side. I can lean forward and bite his nipples (I so love hearing him help), or lean backward and rub myself.

On occasion I like sitting on j's lap and riding him in that manner. It ends up as more of a rocking motion, and the stimulation is not as intense for either of us. Still, we are physically very close. With his arms wrapped around me, I like to lean over and talk dirty to him, telling him how lucky he is to have such a wonderful Domme that allows his cock inside her. And you know what? It's true!

After Thousands of Orgasms, May It Rest In Peace

2011-06-08T22:18:00.000-04:00

Long-time readers of my blog know how much I love my Hitachi Magic Wand. It has inspired posts, including My Scepter Is A Hitachi Magic Wand and has been mentioned in many more. Sadly, after years of use and many orgasms, I believe it has died.

It started making loud noises a few days ago, and today the motor seems to have finally given out. I'm contemplating giving it an actual funeral as it has served me well! I have quite a few vibrators, and of course the services of j, but none are quite as sublime as the Wand.

I will, of course, be getting another. There simply is no alternative! I've added it to my Stockroom Wishlist, so if any of you wonderful readers wants to send Me a treat, it would be much appreciated ... and you could have a smile on your face knowing many orgasms are coming my way!

Real Life Femdom

2011-06-08T21:32:00.000-04:00

j and I lead what I believe is about as close to 24/7 D/s as a married couple, each with their own career, can lead. My control is a constant in our marriage, but sometimes real life gets in the way.

What do I mean by real life? Sometimes vanilla problems interfere with D/s bliss. A recent example of this was a nasty allergy attack (or cold - I'm still not certain which it was). I barely felt like getting out of bed, much less making decisions or Dominating j in any way. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up, sleep and maybe read.

In the past, I would have tried to maintain my Dominant role. I would have been bitchy and nasty, and refused to admit that I was sick and vulnerable. It really does require quite a bit of energy and focus to be Dominant. Don't get me wrong; I love every minute of it, but making every decision for the household can take a lot out of someone.

The problem with always being Dominant is it is tough to relinquish control to others. What I have learned, over time, is that a good Domme knows when to hand over the reigns temporarily. And a good submissive can carry on, continue to serve and be ready to submit again when that time comes.

Aural Sex

2011-06-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

I admit it, I'm a moaner. More accurately, I am a moaner, a screamer and a dirty-talker. I like my sex LOUD. Whether the intimacy is snuggling, making love, or incredibly erotic D/s play, I constantly make some sort of noise. I can't even kiss without moaning!

I love to talk dirty. I suppose this contradicts my behavior in public, and maybe that is what makes it so erotic. I like being in control, and talking dirty allows me to direct my pleasure just the way I want it.

"Put your head between my legs and lick my pussy. I want to feel your tongue lapping at my clit." "Yeah, you're my bitch. I know you will do anything for me"... followed, of course, by taunts about all the various things I could make him do. All this excites me (and my submissive) even more, making the moment of climax utterly intense.

Edging During Masturbation

2011-06-07T12:19:00.000-04:00

Someone posted a comment on my last blog entry, asking why a Domme who can have multiple orgasms would choose to edge herself during masturbation. As happens so often when I start to respond to someone's question, it becomes a post unto itself.

I am capable of having quite a few orgasms in any given day. My orgasms, however, differ quite a bit in intensity and where I feel them. For example, I can bring myself to a quick orgasm in just a couple minutes through rubbing or tapping my clit. These orgasms are generally not very intense, but satisfy my needs if I only have a few minutes.

On other other hand, I can (and often do) edge myself during masturbation. Riding that orgasmic precipice for quite some time is both mentally and sexually arousing. I love that I have full control over my orgasm, and when I ultimately do climax this way the orgasms are forceful and extreme. Even as I am on the edge, though, I am feeling intense pleasure that goes beyond just a build-up of sexual tension. My muscles lock, I moan, I feel waves of pleasure emanating through not just my pelvis but my entire body. The orgasm that follows is concentrated, but ultimately is just the icing on the cake.

I hope this helps answer your question!

When I Think About You, I Touch Myself

2011-06-02T12:56:00.000-04:00

I genuinely enjoy sex and most all things sexual. I read about sex, I talk about sex, I spend long periods of time thinking about sex. I don't think I am the classic nymphomaniac, but surely I am not far from it.

I started masturbating the age of 11 after stumbling upon my father's pornography. I had no idea what I was doing, really... I just knew that if felt incredible. To this day, even when j is satisfying me sexually, I enjoy masturbating.

It is a great feeling to control My orgasm in a way that no man can. I don't care how well he may know my body, only I can bring myself right to the brink and back down again. Only I know precisely where to touch and just how to rub.

My best D/s thoughts and plans are crafted when I masturbate; when I allow my body to relax, my mind to wander, and my sexuality to flourish.

Cuckolding: A sub's Perspective

2011-06-01T21:12:00.000-04:00

After receiving the comment on my blog, which I have addressed in "Cuckolding: A Domme's Perspective," I asked j to write his thoughts on the matter. These are his words:

i can imagine it can be difficult for someone who is not a submissive or has never been in a D/s relationship to truly understand and appreciate that kind of relationship. Additionally, it must be hard to understand why someone would want the person they love and cherish to be intimate with another person. i know Mistress and i have gone through these discussion in regards to other types or "factions" of BDSM. There are some types of D/s or BDSM that W/we simply do not get. i attribute this lack of appreciation to not having been in that type of relationship before or not having those kinds of feelings. When W/we first started in O/our D/s relationship, i remember reading that the members of the BDSM community were actually the most critical group of people of the lifestyle. Much more so than those outside. That every person has their turn-on and doesn't understand why somebody else has something else that triggers them. So i am going to attribute some of your concern to that.

Secondly, it is a broad generalization that intimate relationships with more than two people usually end up in disaster. This may be where you are coming from. Conversely, W/we feel that if a relationship has the essential elements needed to succeed, thrive, and grow, that anything is possible. One of the hallmarks of a D/s relationship is communication and trust. Though there are couples out there that have very strict Cuckold relationships where the man has zero control over anything, that is not O/our situation. There is constant communication, evaluation, and assessment before, during, and afterwards. Not just when W/we invite another person but in every aspect. Mistress controls the wheel. But without having a deep trust and love for Her, She wouldn't be able to have that control. And there must be trust that She has everyone's (cannot underline that word enough) best interest in mind.

Thirdly, i don't know if W/we have the standard cuckold relationship. i think W/we fall somewhere between cuckold, whitol, and swinger. As you have read, She controls the actions but W/we are both involved in the interactions. W/we share this experience together. And that is what makes it special.

Lastly, the real question: What do i get out of it? i receive incredible fulfillment from the knowledge that the person i love is having Her fantasies realized and that i can provide that for Her. Nothing turns me on more than seeing Mistress turned on. i am not forced into this. i am not a slave. i am submitting to Her desires and in turn being fulfilled by Her sexual and emotional exploration with other people.

i hope this clarifies O/our situation a little. Thanks for reading and special thanks for your input.

Cuckolding: A Domme's Perspective

2011-06-01T21:06:00.000-04:00

When you write a blog, you open yourself up to comments and thoughts from others. By and large, the comments I receive are supportive and appreciative. On occasion I receive a comment that is critical. I received this comment today and felt it would make a good blog post.

The comment reads: “Sounds like that is it for your marriage unless hubby can stand your obvious desire for other men. Ask yourself this: Do you have any interest in j sexually other than as an object of your pleasure? If not, you should let him know and see how he feels. It looks to me you are confusing dominance with sexual boredom, because your guy can't "man up" in the bedroom.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but cuckoldry is playing with fire, and you might want to ask yourself (assuming you actually care for j) what he is getting out of it.

And yes, I've read the other two posts on this topic.

Clarence”

My response: I appreciate your comment and realize it was placed after thought and out of concern for My marriage. I can assure you that cuckolding was not something either one of us entered into lightly. We had discussed the issue quite a bit at different times, and came to the conclusion it was the path for us. Read: US. Not for Me, not for him, but for Us together as a couple. j is my husband first, my submissive second. Feel free to ask him if he sees this as a problem, if he feels like he cannot satisfy me, if he prefers that things be different. I can assure you that is not the case. he has told me this, and he has written this on his own blog, Serving My Mistress.

j is not by any means a groveling on the floor type of submissive. That’s just not who he is. He can and DOES speak his mind, especially when something is bothering him. Can he satisfy me? Sure! Do I enjoy being able to tease him and taunt him, letting him know that another man is doing it for me? Absolutely! j’s ONLY deficiencies in the bedroom are that he is small (which has never been an issue for me) and that he cannot last a long time (something we have remedied quite well with numbing cream). Aside from that, he is a phenomenal lover, whether the sex is traditional, vanilla sex or full-blown, out and out raunchy D/s sex.

You are right when you say that cuckolding is a dangerous path. I agree, wholeheartedly. Then again, that could be said about many different aspects of Dominance and submission. But ultimately, the path we are taking is one we chose to take, together. I respect j’s limits, but more than that, I am cognizant of his feelings. I have never been the type of Domme that goes through life without a care in the world about the feelings of her submissive. Rather, I want him to be happy.

My blog includes time away, sometimes months at a time when D/s was not working for us for whatever reason. During these times, we generally have a more vanilla relationship, at least in the sexual sense. And who is it who comes back begging for more D/s? He does. After my submissive came and visited us for a few days, j was immediately trying to figure out how we could travel and spend more time together.

After reading his comment, I asked j to write his thoughts on the matter. I will be posting them now, as Cuckolding: A sub's Perspective.

How I Became the Domme I Am

2011-05-31T17:04:00.000-04:00

I fully recognized my sexual Dominance about 8 years ago at the age of 27. Although I have posted about this before, I will share the story again as I realize I have quite a few new readers. When my husband and I first met, our sex life was fantastic. We made love several times a day and made quite the sport out of sex... challenging each other to different positions or more and more times a day. But soon, as is often the case, the passion died down. We experienced long lulls where sex was nonexistent. We would embrace and cuddle, but rarely anything more. I became concerned because j would never initiate sex. The more I tried to talk to him about it, the bigger an issue it became until one night, in the heat of the moment, he said he needed me to take control.

Shortly thereafter, I dragged him to the bookstore, grabbed the raunchiest BDSM book I could find, opened to a page with a picture of a man, hogtied and bound with a ball gag in his mouth and said, “Is this what you want?” His eyes grew large and he told me no, that was not what he had in mind... he just wanted me to initiate and control the sex. Too late though- because it was what I wanted. I took to D/s like a duck to water... if only I had known it would be so easy! And within a very short period of time, j was so grateful for having this new Dominant authority in his life.

Even though I did not discover my sexual Dominance until 27, when I look back on my life there were many signs I was Dominant from the start. One of my strongest memories is of wrestling a teenage boyfriend. This was a regular activity for us... get together, hang out, play video games and then wrestle. He was bigger and stronger than me and could easily take me down but I didn’t play fair at all. I would scratch, pull hair, bite, slap... and become incredibly sexually exhilarated. When he would yelp in pain, I would giggle and feel a rush. When I finally had him pinned beneath me, my adrenaline and passion surged to a high.

I have other memories, such as telling my mother, “I am my own person, I am my own self, and I will NOT clean my room.” This, at five years old. I liked to take control of most situations, not through belligerence or brattiness but rather through sheer assertiveness.

I dated men who enjoyed pleasing women. They treated me very well and were sensitive to my needs. The men I chose to date were far more concerned about my satisfaction than their own, and in all honesty I expected this. I scoffed at friends who complained about their crappy relationships and wondered why they would settle for anything less than a good man. I held my boyfriends to the fire. I wasn’t a bitch, but I expected accountability.

I wasn’t willing to settle for being treated like anything less than a queen. Because I refused to settle for less, that is what I received... so it is no surprise that the transition to sexual Dominant was easy. It was just taking my control and applying it to yet another area of my life. I have never looked back!

My Own Personal Peep Show

2011-05-30T21:26:00.000-04:00

I am a bit of a night owl and find that one of the best ways to fall asleep after a busy day is an orgasm. j, on the other hand, often falls asleep earlier than I. No matter, of course, because I simply wake him and make him perform for Me. Sometimes I'll pull his head down between my legs, and other times I will have him stroke his cock for Me while I use a vibrator. he has this down to a science, and can put on quite the show, gyrating his hips, cradling his balls and pinching his nipples, even playing with his ass when I command him to. It's nice having my own personal peep show, whenever I want it. Oh, and in case you were wondering... no, I don't let him cum.

Two Men In My Bed, Part 3

2011-05-29T23:13:00.000-04:00

When I had fantasized about having two submissives together, many images ran through my mind, but none stronger than an image of t sucking on j's cock. t and I had talked about this at great length, and he had confessed to me that he felt this was the epitome of humiliation to him. Still, before his visit I was not sure I would have him go through with it. Above all else, I truly care for both men, and although my fantasy was strong, I wanted to be careful both men were comfortable.

As you may remember, we had put two queen mattresses together on the floor in the living room so we could all sleep comfortably together. The boys, now naked after a game of Strip Guitar Hero, awaited my next command. I told t to suck j's cock for Me. Without hesitation, he moved between j's outstretched legs, bent over and took j's cock in his mouth. Up and down he went, very slowly and passionately. he seemed to enjoy the experience, though I have no doubt what he truly relished was submitting to me so deeply that he would perform such an act.

t continued to suck on j, and j told me he was getting closer. he began thrusting his hips, yearning for more of t's mouth. I told t to swallow j's cum, half expecting that I would be slapping his face as he refused. Instead, he sucked harder and took everything j had to give. I had been furiously rubbing my pussy as t sucked, and was beyond orgasmic.

I immediately pulled t toward me, kissing him passionately, sticking my tongue deep into his mouth and tasting j's cum. I wanted him so badly then! My Domme rush still in full force, I ordered the boys to kiss. Their kiss was pathetic at best, almost like watching two teenagers with their first kiss. Still, it was hot that they would do even this for me.

I then ordered j to suck t's cock again. I must admit, j is the better performer in this arena, and he surprised me with his skill. Of course, I imagine he learned everything he knows from me. j sucked t for quite some time as I rubbed my wet pussy. I came at least twice, maybe more, as j's eyes remained on mine. I told j to stop, and that I wanted to make love to t.

I wanted to make the cuckold experience complete, so I ordered j to put a condom on t, and then I lowered myself down onto t's cock. At this point he had been erect most of the time for a few days, so I was rather surprised when he was not hard enough for insertion. I will chalk it up to performance anxiety, however I was rather pissed at the time. I wanted to ride him and I wanted it then! Still, I recognized that the days had taken each of us to places we had never been.

We enjoyed dinner and a silly movie, and I enjoyed being in t's arms as we watched the film. He held me close and lovingly played with my long hair, rubbed my back and my legs. When the movie was over, t and I slowly began making out again. His kisses were so sweet, so loving and passionate. I decided that as punishment for not being able to satisfy me earlier, t would be cuckolded. I rode j's cock with abandon in front of him, moaning and screaming out with the orgasm that t had not been able to give me. I wanted to make sure he saw what he was missing out on. t was incredibly aroused watching, and I pushed him onto his back. Again I had j put a condom on him and then pushed j aside as I placed my legs astride t and lowered myself onto him. I rode him hard and fast, just like I like it. I am fairly certain the neighbors heard me, I moaned so loudly!

After some time we both collapsed onto a pile on the beds, totally spent. I motioned for j to join us and the three of us lay together, intertwined. In that moment I felt more love, passion, desire, and Dominance than ever before.

Submissive Men Married to Vanilla Women

2011-05-25T17:15:00.000-04:00

In my search for a submissive I have determined that a fair portion of my readers are submissive men in vanilla marriages. So it is no surprise that my most popular post is about ways a submissive man can share his feelings with his vanilla partner. After offering my thoughts and suggestions to some of these men, I decided that another post on the subject would be in order.

I can understand how these men must feel- they desperately want (and need) to submit, yet they do not have the opportunity. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that many men seem to grow into their submissiveness as they age. The feelings that, at a younger age, were just sexual desires, have grown to become almost an obsession.

It is such a conundrum - if you tell your wife you are submissive, she could ridicule you, think you are perverted or even question your morals. And most women, when approached, will not have a large enough knowledge base on the subject. Likely she will envision whips, chains and a Domme in a corsette and cut the discussion off before it begins.

What's a submissive boy to do? The internet opens up the opportunity to read and explore the world of D/s safely through pictures, stories and videos, however that is only moderately satisfying. ProDommes are a possibility, but some find the experience too artificial when an exchange of money is taking place.

First, accept that your feelings are perfectly normal, and that changing them would be difficult (if not impossible). I believe that for most people this would be akin to trying to change a homosexual to a heterosexual. Could it be done? Possibly, but only with much difficulty and never completely. You are who you are, and you cannot change what you desire. Your feelings, wants and needs are not wrong, bad, dirty or perverse. No one would think any less of a woman who wanted her husband to make the decisions and run the household while she catered to his needs. Why should a man who feels that way be treated any differently?

I believe that most women have a Dominant side, but over the years it has been stifled, a lot of the times due to societal expectations. Powerful women are considered bitchy, assertive women are considered demanding. Not to mention that it is nearly impossible to achieve the model of perfection that is thrust upon us by images in magazines, television shows and movies.

I have been working for some time on a program to help men empower their wives. Performing these actions will not guarantee that your wife will become Dominant, but will at least help her develop the traits that a Domme must have. I believe that, over time, most any woman can enjoy taking on the Dominant role.

The great thing about these tasks is that many of them place you in a more submissive role just by the mere act of performing them. You are doing these things to please your wife, to meet her needs, to satisfy her. She will grow to expect these things. Her friends will notice how attentive you are and will comment to her about it. She will become happier with you, and expect (and demand) more from you.

There needs to be moderation in all things, though, and surely your wife will wonder what in the world is happening if her former couch-potato, beer-guzzling husband all of the sudden starts mopping the floors, bringing her chocolates and opening doors for her. The changes you will make are gradual, and the changes she will make in return are gradual as well.

In many ways, you are simply spoiling your wife, but with a twist. You are doing things that will build her self-image, empower her, and cause her to realize that she will be happiest when you are submitting to her.

This isn’t meant to be a checklist whereby if you perform every action you will get the Domme of your dreams. Rather it is a list of suggestions that will help a woman realize how wonderful it feels to have a man submit to her.

• Hands off your penis. Yes, I realize this is asking a lot. But men masturbate way too often. The problem is that orgasms diminish your level of desire, and often your level of submission. Your orgasm (or lack thereof) should be her decision. You don’t need to announce this to her. Just do it!

• Make sure she knows how much you love, desire and appreciate her. Women work incredibly hard and men often take that for granted. Little notes, cards and emails will show her that you are thinking of her. Sure, some of these can be racy, but be sure to include some that focus on how much you love and appreciate the woman that she is.

• Implement rituals to help remind Her (and yourself) of your place. There is no need to bring these rituals to her attention- she may or may not notice, but they will serve to keep you in line. Examples include not taking a bite of dinner until she has started or standing and giving her a kiss when she returns home (or even, when she enters the room).

• Don’t smell like Chewbaca. Okay, I’m not sure if Chewbaca smells or not, but based on the massive amounts of hair all over his body, I imagine he must have a rank odor about him. Wear cologne or body spray (Axe is a good one). Better yet - accompany her to the store and ask her to smell different scents and decide which she would prefer. No woman wants to have a dirty, stinky man with sweat stains on his clothes.

• Give her gifts when she expects them. But more importantly, give her gifts when she doesn’t expect them. It feels great to know that someone is thinking about you and wanting to do something special for you, even when it isn’t a holiday. It doesn’t need to be Valentines Day for you to bring her chocolates, it doesn’t need to be Christmas to buy her a necklace she has been eyeing. It does not have to be a huge expense- she will be touched that you thought of her.

• Tell her that you know she works hard, and that you want to do your part more and take some of the work on yourself. Accept what she asks you to do and complete it well and without whining. Don’t put it off! Let her know she can rely on you to follow through on the things she asks of you.

This is part one of a longer list, but because I hate incredibly long blog posts, I’m going to split this one up. Feel free to share your comments either via the comment box or email me privately. I am happy to offer my thoughts and advice.

The Hunt for a Submissive

2011-05-21T22:15:00.001-04:00

I have debated for a while about putting this on my blog, but feel it appropriate. I have been searching for a second submissive for a while. I am getting little more from CollarMe than boilerplate emails, 'hi, can I serve you' messages, and genital pics. I'm sure there are some great submissive men on CollarMe, but I have yet to find them. I have decided to take my search to the blog.

Readers of my blog know my D/s interests inside and out. And I think it is safe to say that the majority of my readers are submissive men. Here is what I am looking for, in list form just because I like lists. If at least 8 of the 10 items on the list below apply to you, I would like to hear from you (my email is in my profile).

1. Submissive man between the ages of 28 and 50
2. 5'8" or taller
3. Intelligent, can carry on a good conversation and write well
4. A great sense of humor
5. An interest in Female Domination that transcends kink
6. A desire to create a strong bond with a Dominant woman
7. Interested in regular contact via email/chat/phone with the possibility of meeting in the future
8. Able to discuss a variety of topics, with interests that extend beyond BDSM
9. D/s interests that are similar to mine (if you don't know, read the blog!)
10. Have to spell well or be able to use spell check (misspelled words are a pet peeve of mine)

I live in Virginia, though I am open to a long-distance relationship.

Sparking Desire in a Newbie

2011-05-21T20:55:00.000-04:00

I recently had a conversation with an otherwise vanilla friend in which he shared that he and his girlfriend have not been intimate for months. After a bit of discussion, I suggested that he 'kink it up' a bit. We continued on the topic, and he asked what I do when I am in the mood and j is not showing any interest. I responded that I just take what I want. He was not previously privy to the details of my intimate life, and I could tell my response caught him off guard.

He started asking questions, and the more he asked (and seemed intrigued), the more I felt willing to share. I could tell that he was incredibly aroused by the conversation, and I must admit I was a bit turned on myself. It was as if I could see the gears turning in his head. This was mostly new to him. His only point of reference is what he has seen in some pornographic magazines and pop culture references.

He told me he had never felt a desire for anything like a Femdom relationship, but that the more I described it, the more he wanted it. He talked about how much it turned him on that a woman would be assertive and sexually free, that she would embrace her desires. He said (and I agree) that nothing is hotter than a powerful, confident woman.

None of this really surprised me, though. I think many, many men would prefer that their wife/girlfriend/partner take on a more dominant role, especially in the bedroom. It's not just about the great sex (although my worst D/s sex is FAR better than my best vanilla sex). It's more about the connection between man and woman... the man surrendering himself to her, and the woman accepting him and molding him to please her. The communication and awareness of each other that exists in a D/s relationship is beyond what I believe most unfamiliar with the lifestyle can imagine. And that, my dear readers, makes for a very happy couple.

D/s for Dummies... or Beginners

2011-03-18T16:24:00.000-04:00

(Yes, the promised Wednesday How-To is a little late... but I'm a Domme, damnit! I can break my own rules if I want.)

Seven + years into my full-time D/s lifestyle, I have a difficult time trying to remember my marriage in its infancy. When we met, j was hopelessly vanilla in behavior, though he had some D/s fantasies (that he did not share with me until later). I was kinkier and definitely more Dominant outside the bedroom, but was used to my boyfriends being more the aggressors in the bedroom.

It led to a few years of frustration for both of us – j wanting something that he was afraid to put into words, and me wanting to control him but not realizing that control could exist in the bedroom as well.

All of this came to a head one night during a heated discussion. I felt let down that j seemed uninterested in sex, and I was not afraid to tell him how disappointed I was. Out of nowhere, he said, “I want you to take control.” That was the beginning of it, and despite a few bumps in the road, j and I are very happy that we are travelling this path together.

There are quite a few words of advice I would offer to couples interested in incorporating Dominance and submission into their relationship. First, make sure you are both on the same page, or at least reading the same book. Communication is key. Both partners should have similar expectations of what they want from the experience.

Find a checklist online of different activities. Fill them out separately and then compare them. Talk about each one. You will be surprised how your feelings on things may change as you move forward in your relationship. Things I had no interest in years ago are now vital parts of our lifestyle.

Start slowly! At first, especially when you find a willing partner, you want to try and do everything. There are so many new experiences, new toys, new things to try. Don’t do everything at once. You may even need to be as regimented as saying, “Only one new thing a month.”

Inevitably, there will be ebbs and flows in the prominence of D/s in your relationship. Even our marriage, which we consider to be 24/7, has times when we just put it on the shelf for a while. Responsibilities at work, children and family obligations, stressors of all kinds can impact your desire to explore D/s. Don’t let it get you down- it’s NORMAL, and you likely will come back to right where you left off once things have resolved, sometimes with a renewed interest.

Consider the psychological ramifications of the things you might do. This is a biggie for me. There are a lot of things that may just need to remain fantasies. Communication is so important. There are doors that, once opened, cannot be closed again. Consider this especially when engaging in extreme play, such as extreme sadism, cuckolding, or humiliation. There are some partners for whom these things would not be damaging, but others who might find them shattering to their core. It’s not worth the thousands of dollars in potential psychiatry bills.

Being open is great, but be careful whom you choose to share this with. I tend to be a little overly cautious in this area, but that’s just me. I have a few close friends I have come out to, and my sister, but that has been it. In general I choose to keep this part of me secret.

Most of all, enjoy yourselves! Have fun, explore who you are and what makes you tick. Take notes along the way... heck, start your own blog. This lifestyle is a journey, and everyone's path is just a little different.

Sexy Is a State of Mind

2011-03-15T17:41:00.000-04:00

I wonder how many women do not embrace their sexuality because they are self-conscious. Women are programmed from such a young age to believe that there is one set of ideal attributes, and any variations from that ideal are not desirable. Don't believe me? Grab a Cosmo and you can see it. The women all look very similar - tall, thin, unusually large breasts given their lack of body fat, perfect skin, luscious and full lips, flowing hair. This flawless representation makes women feel less than confident. How can most women compete? It is no wonder that so many women feel ill-at-ease with their bodies.

I have come to the conclusion that sexy is more of a state of mind than a set of physical attributes. To be sexy, one doesn't need to wear a short skirt or revealing clothes, one doesn't need to show skin or be a model. To be sexy, one needs to be confident and passionate.

I have a coworker who is beautiful by anyone's standards. She always looks great, no matter what the circumstances, and in addition she is caring and kind. Sadly, it seems as if she is oblivious to her own beauty. Minor problems, like a tiny pimple, make her feel terrible about herself. She has confessed that she feels that people stare at her 'big ass'. She acknowledges and is proud of her professional accomplishments, but she cannot seem to come to term with who she is physically. She has a beautiful exterior, and yet she is self-conscious. And because of this, even though she is beautiful, she really is not very sexy. No surprise that she regularly complains about her sex-life.

To her and women like her I say... be proud of who you are, be beautiful, be confident, don't be afraid to shake your booty or grab your man by the balls. If you want him to go down on you, tell him! If he doesn't do it right, tell him that too. Demand satisfaction, don't settle for less. Share your fantasies, and make them come true.

Here's to being sexy AND self-confident!

Saturday Morning Fun, with a Surprising Twist

2011-03-14T16:30:00.000-04:00

I woke up early Saturday morning, incredibly aroused. I am not sure what dream inspired such feelings, but it must have been a great one!

I require j to sleep naked so that he is available when I need him. I leaned over, kissing his mouth and face, then kissing my way down to his chest. As he woke I licked and kissed his nipples, and then bit them. My bites shocked him, erasing any grogginess he was feeling. As I continued to toy with his chest, I reached down and grabbed his cock. I was pleasantly surprised to find he was wearing his cock ring. I tapped against it hard with my fingernails, luxuriating in the sound of his moans.

Not wanting j to become too aroused, I slapped his balls hard, over and over again. I began to rub my clitoris, placing one finger on each side of it and moving them up and down quickly. I could already feel my juices flowing, so I grabbed j by the hair and pulled his head down towards my pussy. He immediately knew what I wanted, and got on his hands and knees with his ass facing me and his head between my legs. His tongue went to town, licking my pussy as I toyed with his ass. I love having him in this position, as I can play with his asshole, balls and cock easily as he pleasures me.

I reached a couple powerful orgasms with his tongue pleasuring me and then reached for my Magic Wand (conveniently stored right by the bed!). I turned slightly, pushing him off of me, and placed the Wand between my legs. With great pressure on my clit, I quickly came again.

j laid on the bed next to me, his cock hard and desperate for release. This meant I believe 21 orgasms of mine since he had a single one. I rubbed my right foot up against his cock as he moaned in pleasure. I tapped the head of his cock gently with the sole of my foot as I rubbed my clit with my fingers again. It had only been a couple minutes when he asked permission to cum. I couldn't believe he could possibly cum just from having the head of his cock lightly tapped, so I gave him permission.

I was shocked as his body started to writhe and I felt the cum hit my foot. I continued to tap against it as he came for what had to have been thirty seconds. When he finished I wiped my cum-soaked foot all over his chest, stomach and legs as I laughed hysterically at him. I still cannot believe that he was so desperate that he could cum that way!

A Few of My Favorite Things

2011-03-11T07:09:00.020-05:00

One of my readers recently messaged me through Pingbox and asked me to post my favorite BDSM-related gear. Here they are, in no particular order:

My all-time favorite D/s toy is the Feeldoe. The Feeldoe is a great alternative to the typical strap-on. It is convenient to use as I don't have to worry about putting on the harness for a strap-on in the middle of play. I can just slip the Feeldoe in and I am ready to go. I have used a number of different strap-ons and my Feeldoe offers significantly more control and certainly far more stimulation to my own body when I take j. It offers clitoral stimulation and vibrates via a small vibrator that can be removed. It's also super-easy to clean. It does require good pelvic control, but do your kegel exercises and you should be all set for a wonderful experience!

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a must-have for any woman, whether she is Dominant or not. It is the ultimate vibrator and has brought me to hundreds, if not thousands of orgasms. I own a number of great vibes, including the Eroscillator and several Doc Johnson vibrators. They basically sit in my toy cabinet gathering dust as I play over and over again with the Magic Wand. The Magic Wand is powered via an electrical cord, so no need to worry about batteries. When I use it, I generally put a lot of pressure on it, which tones down the vibrations a bit and makes them feel as if they are deeper within my body. Quite a few attachments have come out in recent years, too. I love using the Magic Wand for tease and denial with j... having him restrained as I apply it to his cock (on high, of course) until he is on the brink, over and over again.

Bondage tape is a must-have for me! Bondage tape has no adhesive, so it is not sticky. Rather, it is made of a material that adheres to itself. It is strong and gives very little when someone strains against it. Unlike rope, it requires no special knowledge of knots and restraints and it is quite safe, so you can play with little concern about circulation. When you are done, you can easily cut it off and discard it or unwind it and use it again. Don't get me wrong- I love, love, love rope, but in terms of quick and simple bondage, the tape cannot be beat.

Mmm... just the thought of impact play is enough to get me aroused! I love spanking, and the feeling of my hand moving through the air and coming down upon j's ass. Unfortunately, after a bit of this, my hand becomes sore. That is when I bring in the crop. The crop is lightweight, easy to use and offers a fantastic slap sound when it impacts flesh. j's ass quickly turns a beautiful shade of crimson under my crop.

Next on my list of must-have toys is the ball gag. The ball gag allows me to shut j up whenever the need arises. It quickly puts him into a more submissive position and is a great way to end arguments if they arise! I like using a ball gag on him before I punish him so that any yelps of pain are transformed into moans with the gag in place. Just looking at him with the gag on is enough to get me going!

The Aneros was one of our first anal toys, and remains one of my favorites. The Aneros is a prostate massager, molded to fit nicely inside the rectum. There is a handle-type piece on the end that is used for easy insertion and removal. When j has the Aneros in place, I use the handle to move it within him. Tilting it up puts great pressure on the prostate and is enough to make him absolutely shiver. I like the Aneros over a traditional butt-plug as it remains firmly in place, even during serious play. Some men report being to have orgasms with no penile stimulation at all when the Aneros is in.

j's collar and anklets come from Eternity Collars. They have held up to quite a bit of abuse and are still going strong. The collar and anklets are both secured with a screw that requires an allen wrench to open. j wears his anklets all the time, only removing them to travel or go through metal detectors (sometimes not even then... which is a funny story I will save for another time). The collar sits rather low on j's neck, so he wears it discreetly throughout the winter. I love being able grab onto his collar and yank him around. So very nice!

When j and I first started down this path of Dominance and submission, I had no interest whatsoever in electric play. After watching a few videos, though, I was intrigued enough to give it a try and I am so glad I did. The Rimba E-Stim Device is a great entry unit to the world of electrical stimulation. I remember the day this toy arrived, attaching the electrodes to my labia and using the device. It's difficult to describe the sensation, but it feels less zappy than tappy (told you it was difficult to describe)! It is safe to say that it can cause incredible pleasure or incredible pain. I purchased the Dual Contact Penis Strap to use on j, and the experience is one of complete control. I can bring j to orgasm without ever touching him at all, simply by turning the dials on the device. I can also bring him a swift zap of pain if I like. It is important to use the e-stim devices with conductive gel or the pleasure can turn to pain at unexpected times!

Caged In - A Domme's Fantasy

2011-03-10T16:20:00.004-05:00

Fantasies run rampant in my mind. There are some that, although hot, I probably would never try. There are others that I am just waiting for the perfect opportunity to fulfill. This fantasy is definitely outside what I normally might do with j or any other sub, but it does make me wonder what I might be capable of!

j and I have a weekend alone, and I decide it is great time to put him in his place. I tell him to get dressed quickly as we need to run an errand. Once dressed, I have him drive to PetSmart. He thinks we are there to purchase food for our dogs, which we do, but then I take him over to look at the dog crates. Within earshot of several male shoppers I explain to j that since he is my little bitch, he needs to be treated accordingly. I look over several of the crates, loudly considering whether they are big or secure enough as he blushes crimson.

I select a crate that I believe will work nicely, and we purchase it. Immediately after returning home, I have him strip down to his panties and have him put the crate together. I tell him to get inside the crate. I don't put a blanket or towel down over the bottom of the crate, and I am sure it is uncomfortable for him, but I don't care. I place a large lock on the door to secure it closed. I then cover the crate and leave him alone, locked up, in the dark.

For the next several hours I go about my business. I talk to a girlfriend on the phone, read a magazine, workout and take a shower. When I step out of the shower, I hear him calling for me. He begs to be released to use the bathroom. I explain to him that, as my bitch, he is being crate-trained and I know he won't go in his crate. I tell him he needs to wait.

I leave him this way for another hour, then return to the crate. He is so excited to see me, thinking my presence means his release. Instead, I force him to drink a glass of water and leave again. I return later, expecting to find him again begging to use the bathroom. When I uncover the crate I see him masturbating furiously. I unlock the crate and pull him out by his erect penis.

As he starts to stand, I push him down to the ground. He looks up at me, shock written all over his face. "That's right, bitch," I say, "you can crawl around on the ground like the dog you are." I put the gates of hell on his penis and attach a leash to it. As I pull him through the house on his leash, I ask him if he wants to pee or if he wants to cum.

He begs to use the bathroom, almost crying at this point. "Too bad," I say, "first you are going to cum." I stroke his cock through the gates of hell and hear him whimper... partly in pain, partly in pleasure. I roughly take the gates of hell off him and furiously stroke his penis. I don't even look his direction as I am stroking it. I feel his body tense up as he cums onto the wood floor.

"Now can I pee, Mistress?" he begs. I tell him that he must first clean up his mess, and force him to lick his cum off the floor. He makes a nasty face, but obeys. As soon as he is done I release him to go to the bathroom. When he returns I tell him that he will be spending the night in his new cage. After locking him up for the night and covering the crate, I leave a small opening in the front that is not covered by the blanket. I want him to have a clear view of me as I masturbate, taunting him the entire time.

Strap-On Fun: There's Nothing Like the Butt

2011-03-09T16:51:00.006-05:00

I have decided to begin making Wednesday posts how-to's. The post today is near and dear to my heart, as I truly enjoy taking my submissive anally. For the Dommes who read this and get something out of it, enjoy! And for you submissive men... it will probably be the hottest how-to you will ever read!

Having your man bent over, completely vulnerable, preferably restrained in some way is a feeling that nothing else can match.

First things first- use lots of lube! Messy? Yes, but better than causing tears that might mean time away from play. Trust me- once you take your man this way you will want to do it all the time!

It’s best to start gently. I prefer to have j laying on his back with his knees bent and legs spread. Start with your palm up, and enter his anus with one finger. Tease him a little bit so he doesn’t know when to expect that you might enter, and finally push your finger in. Most likely he’ll gasp… that means you are doing it right.

If your finger is long enough, you may be able to feel the prostate. Curl your finger in as if you are bring it in towards your palm. Although not the norm, per se, j seems to react with pleasurable moans and groans when I swipe slightly to the left and right. If your hands are small (as are mine), insert a second finger before beginning this. I usually toy with j’s anus a bit, tickling up against it with my second finger before inserting it.

With both fingers inside, you can stretch him just a bit. Open your two fingers, spreading him as you spread them. It is likely that you will not be able to open them much. Now you can play a bit- insert a third finger, slide your fingers in and out, tease his cock, slap his balls... have some fun!

When you are ready, pull your fingers out slowly, and position him for insertion. There are a couple ways to do this easily. If you are flexible, as I am, you can leave him in the position he is already in. Open your knees and sit in a W-type fashion. I then lift his legs and put them over my now spread out legs. Line the head up with him, but before you begin to insert, make sure you have some leverage. Now is the time to make sure you have plenty of lube. It is never a bad idea to push just a little more inside of him.

Slowly push into him. Unless he is experienced at anal play or you are feeling particularly sadistic, it is best to insert just the head and wait for his body to adjust to that sensation before pushing more in. Usually it takes just a minute before he is ready. You will know because he will likely begin pushing back towards you, wanting more of you inside of him.

Now thrust deep inside of him. Push your hips forward and back. If you are new to this, it might help to hold the strap-on, right near your body. This will give you a little extra control. As you become more experienced this will not be necessary, and with the proper strap-on you will have just as much control as any man would.

Now that you are taking him, tip your pelvis down slightly. This will make it so that pressure is placed on you, allowing you to enjoy the experience more.

You can play with things- change the speed, pressure, tilt of your body and more to totally change the sensations for you. Relax, enjoy yourself, and take your man like the bitch he is!

Two Men In My Bed - part 2

2011-03-08T16:37:00.005-05:00

Watching j go down on a man, just because I ordered it was an incredible feeling. Prior to that, the time I have felt most dominant is when taking j with my strap-on. This, by far, outweighed that experience. I couldn't help but rub my pussy, having several orgasms while I watched this show that I was controlling.

Now drenched, I pulled j off t and towards me and guided his head to my pussy. He licked enthusiastically and I came yet again. By this point I was practically shuddering when I reached orgasm... my body was at such a heightened state of arousal. I wanted t to remain aroused, as my intention was to keep him turned on as long as possible while allowing him no release. I licked and sucked his cock gently and then stopped, edging him closer and closer to orgasm yet denying him every time. Just when he seemed to be anticipating what I would do next, I fingered his virgin ass.

I wanted t to feel what it was like to have no control- to be helplessly restrained and blindfolded. I told j to lay on his back. He actually hard a difficult time getting hard (something we have chalked up to some meds I gave him to help him last longer). When I was finally able to get him erect, he came immediately after I lowered my body onto him. He got very little enjoyment out of it due to his deadened sensations, which pleased me.

Somehow, I still hadn't had enough. I pulled out my Hitachi Magic Wand and pressed it hard against my pussy. As I did this, I would yank oh t's nipples as hard as I could, or rip out some of his chest hair. His moans of pain mixed quite nicely with my moans of pleasure. Eventually my body had had enough, and I collapsed, falling asleep between my two wonderful submissives.

... there is one more post in this series which will prove to be the hottest of all. Coming soon!

My Cuckold and Me

2011-03-07T16:05:00.006-05:00

If you had asked either j or I several years ago if we would have considered cuckoldry, we would both said you were crazy. It wasn't that we saw anything wrong with it, but just did not feel like it was for us. Oh, how things change!

Our first tiptoe into the waters of cuckoldry came a couple years ago, when I began to talk to a few submissive men online. I enjoyed being fawned over, of course, and the extra attention I was receiving from other submissives really kept j on his toes. It reinforced his submissive position, and I made a point to remind him regularly that although I can have whatever submissive I want, he is mine and mine alone.

Before t came to visit, I told j it was my intention to be intimate with him. He had very mixed feelings about this... from arousal, to concern about the impact on our marriage, to questioning what his role would be. I consider myself a wife first and a Domme second, so we discussed his feelings at great length. The conclusion we came to is that we would touch base often during t's visit, but that the decision of how far I would go with him would be mine alone.

Now a bit of a spoiler- I had great sex with t, and enjoyed riding him. I also enjoyed knowing that j was there, watching every second of it. Was he more attentive after that? Hell yeah! Just as I take away his manhood when I force him to wear panties and use a strap-on on him, I take away his security when I make love to another man. The dichotomy of fear of what it might mean versus excitement of watching was clearly very powerful for him.

Every time I kissed t, groped him, slapped him, squeezed his balls, I knew that j was watching and wanting for that to be him. What a feeling of complete and total control! Since then, he has remained in a deeper level of submission as I have remained in a deeper level of dominance.

I fully intend to take on another submissive and likely cuckold j again...

I have started on my next post about t's visit- it promises to be a hot one. It will likely go up tomorrow, for those of you waiting with bated breath!

Taking My Bitch

2011-03-04T16:33:00.005-05:00

j was bent over the bed with his panties around his thighs, a vision that took my breath away. It had been a weekend of torture for j. I had been too busy with my job to deal with his weeks of transgressions but as things settled down at work, they heated up at home. The night before I had put him over my knee and spanked his ass until it was bright red. I had little compassion for his whimpering, and kept reminding him that he was here to serve me. Then I had him hand wash all the floors in the house naked, except for a pair of panties. Since he washed the floor on his hands and knees, I had an excellent view. Seeing him like that got me incredibly aroused.

Now here he was, ass in the air, practically begging to be taken. I walked around the bed and slapped him several times in the face with my Feeldoe. I ordered him to suck it. "Get it wet, bitch.... it's going to be the only lube you get!" He sucked the cock, licking and slurping on it as I moved it in and out of his mouth. After taunting him this way for a few minutes, I was ready to take him.

I placed the tip of my cock against him, slowly entering him. Normally I put the head in quickly and allow him time to get used to the sensation before continuing on, but this time I watched as he gradually opened up to take in the head of my cock. He cried out a bit in pain, but I just laughed at him. As my cock entered him deeper, I could feel the pressure of the Feeldoe inside of me, and finally, all the way in, I gasped as it rubbed against my clit.

It wasn't long before I felt j's body pushing back towards me, wanting more and more of my cock inside of him. "You want it, don't you, bitch?," I asked. "Oh yes Ma'am, " he cried. I gave it to him, taking him hard and fast, watching my cock slide in and out of him.

I could feel my own juices dripping down my thighs and despite great control of my pelvic muscles it was getting tough to hold the bulb of the Feeldoe inside as I got wetter. I took it out of me told j to get on his back. I know this disappointed him a bit as he was enjoying rubbing his cock against the bed as I took him. Still, he was eager to please me and had his tongue out of his mouth, eager to lick me, as I lowered myself down on his face.

I rode his face with abandon, knowing his entire head was probably getting wet. I felt my climax building and grinded my pussy against his face. My hips began bucking and j struggled to keep his tongue aligned with my pussy as I came on his face. I moaned and screamed for what had to be a couple minutes- the orgasm just kept on coming!

As my climax was finally receding, I moved my body lower against j. "You wanna put your cock inside me? You wanna cum inside my pussy, bitch?"

"Only if it pleases you, Ma'am." he responded, but I knew he was eager for release.

"Too bad, maybe next time," I said with a grin, as I headed off to the shower.

* To those followers who are waiting to here what happened on my weekend with two submissives, I will be posting the next 'installment' soon. I want to give j some time to catch up with posting about it on his blog.

Two Men in My Bed!

2011-03-03T16:23:00.007-05:00

I cannot begin to tell you how exciting it was to have two men in my bed that first night. I knew t was exhausted from his day of preparations and his flight in, so we went to bed early (meaning no D/s festivities... but there was plenty of time to come!) The next day, I worked for part of the day and j worked for the whole day. That meant leaving t at home alone. Before leaving for work, I left t a pair of my panties to wear. He was utterly embarrassed by this - which was just what I wanted! t spent his time cleaning the house- vacuuming, cleaning out my pantry and cleaning my bookshelves.

When I arrived home from work, t met me at the door. He was practically glowing in anticipation. We spent the rest of the afternoon embracing, kissing, holding each other... nothing at all D/s oriented. That was to come that night! j arrived home and seemed a bit distraught. Turns out he had a hard time knowing that t and I were alone and he wasn't part of the games. That night, after dinner, the real fun began!

I had j and t both strip down to their panties for me in the bedroom. I taunted them for a bit about how sexy they looked in their beautiful panties. t was horrified (though secretly loving it!). After pushing him down on his back, I pulled out some cuffs and attached both of his wrist to one side of the headboard. I also put a blindfold on him. I had j remove his panties for me. Although very hairy in general, t's groin is completely shaved. His penis is on the small side, but his balls are enormous - far bigger than I have ever seen. I teased t for a bit, yanking on his chest hairs and pulling out handfuls of hair as he screamed. I was dripping wet just hearing his cries. I kept telling him what a bitch he was, and that now that he was restrained, he was Mine to do with as I pleased.

t was on the verge of tears from the pain when I decided to reward him a bit. I lowered myself down his body, kissing and caressing his chest and stomach before reaching his throbbing hard cock. I teased it a bit with my tongue before lowering my mouth and taking it all in. I would suck on it a bit, listening to his moans, and then stop and slap him or yank on his chest hair some more. This went on for a few minutes, as j looked on- very much aroused himself.

I decided to bring j in on the action. One of my biggest fantasies is a forced bi situation. j has sucked my strap-on many times, but never the real thing. In fact, I have teased him about making him go down on a man for years. I told t that we were going to play a game. Someone was going to suck on his cock- and he had to guess whether it was j or me. He groaned out of humiliation, but also out of arousal as his cock grew even harder. I motioned for j to suck on him, and he did with gusto! He licked up and down t's shaft, taking the head in his mouth and toying with it before taking him deep down his throat. t moaned passionately and could barely get out the words, "It is j, Ma'am."

.... to be continued

Back, At Last...

2011-03-02T19:33:00.004-05:00

Some followers of my submissive hubby's blog, Serving My Mistress, have already begun to read the stories about when my online submissive came to spend a few days with us. This was the first time meeting him face to face, even though he and I had been chatting for nearly a year at that point. This is now a few months after the fact, and I think that j and I have taken a while to post just to let everything sink in. It was quite the visit!

During t's visit, j was thoughtful enough to write quite a few times, getting his thoughts and feelings down, as well as making note of everything that occurred. It ended up being very helpful as it was a whirlwind of emotions, fantasies and yummy D/s sensuality.

I had spent many a night watching t on webcam, and we had become so close as friends in addition to our D/s relationship that when I met him it was just like meeting an old friend. The initial hugs, however, quickly led to touching, and then kissing passionately. I think it freaked j out when he walked in on t and I kissing shortly after we arrived home from the airport. I made certain to talk to him about that, and honestly talked to him many times during the visit. I felt it was important to check in on him and make sure he was alright. I realize that as the Domme, the decisions about what activities would or would not occur were mine, however as a wife I did not want to do anything that might affect his psyche or our relationship in a negative manner.

Before visiting, t had expressed to me many times that he wanted to sleep next to me, and after chatting so many nights into the wee hours of the morning, I yearned to feel his body against mine. We all went to sleep fairly soon after he arrived as j and I both had to work the next day. I was wearing some silky black pants a top that was open in the front. I instructed the boys to strip before coming to bed with me.

The boys couldn't be more different if they tried! j is very confident, and never embarrassed by anything (much to my chagrin). t, on the other hand, is embarrassed all the time, and especially relishes when I humiliate him. As j openly stripped off his clothes and paraded around the room, t timidly undressed and quickly got under the covers. Most of my attention was initially focused on t. He was, after all, my new toy. He and I kissed passionately, my hands moving all over his body. He has tons of body hair, and I enjoyed hearing him scream as I grabbed handfuls of it and pulled as hard as I could. As we were making out, j began to rub my body. His massage slowly turned more sexual, and I began grinding against his hand as I kissed t. The moans I made while kissing t were due to j's actions... something about that seemed incredibly hot.

I had a very powerful orgasm that night, heightened by the fact that I was being serviced by TWO submissives! I slept lightly, waking up over and over throughout the night. Every time I opened my eyes, t was staring lovingly at me. I don't think he slept at all that first night.

This is the teaser post for what was a tremendously exciting visit, which went beyond any of my expectations and has filled me with mental replays for several months! More to come shortly (yes, really!)

Back for What Promises to be an Exciting Summer

2010-06-18T18:45:00.004-04:00

As is so often the case in D/s marriages, there are ebbs and flows with the levels of Dominance and submission. In our marriage, this happens when 'life' gets in the way. I have been busy at work, broke my thumb and cracked my wrist, j has been working hard to line up a better job, and our kids have had their miscellaneous things going on. Nonetheless, the summer promises to be relaxing and I hope to have much more time to enjoy my wonderful submissive, as well as more time to blog.

Despite our occasional hiatuses (is that a word?) from the lifestyle, j does his best to maintain a constant level of submission. He wears his anklets and panties all the time. He frequently gives me pedicures and massages my feet, he makes me breakfast whenever we are home, and he generally maintains his thoughtful attitude. I like this level of continuity- it gives me a constant feeling that I am his Queen, and at the same time I don't feel the need to be overtly Dominant if I am not in the mood.

We had a few days where he had the day off while I was working. Each and every day, when I returned home, he greeted me wearing a black leather jock strap, his training collar and anklets. It is incredibly arousing for me to know that he 'slaves' away at home while I am out.

I'm happy to be back, feeling horny and Dominant as can be, and wanting to share it with you all. Be looking for some great posts soon!

Under Pressure

2010-03-29T05:40:00.003-04:00

Alas, My househusband is no longer! Several weeks ago he began his new job. Two weeks went far too fast, although I feel blessed that in this economy he was able to find a job so quickly. His commute is well over an hour (each way), so morning duties that usually fell on his shoulders now rest neatly on mine. Eh, I'm up for the challenge.

My post today is only slightly D/s-related, so for my readers who come here for the juicy details... fair warning. I had a conversation with a co-worker recently about working under pressure. It was just a few words back and forth, but it was one of those exchanges that has stayed in my mind, and I have found myself reflecting upon it. After hearing that I was taking on additional responsibilities (with regards to work), she said something to the effect of, "You are just like me. You take on a lot because you know you work best under pressure." There is a lot of truth in that statement. I DO take on a lot, I DO work best when I am challenged and pressed a bit.

On a similar note, j and I were both admiring a girl we saw recently. She was in the marines, and dressed in her uniform. She sat tall in her chair, not even resting against the back. We were in an office for about thirty minutes, and she never fidgeted or looked around. She was focused, well-dressed, her hair and makeup were well-done. j commented (as he has before) that he wishes he had been in the military, that he had developed that sense of discipline. We joked about my becoming his drill sergeant- and while it was funny at the time, I could definitely see it being beneficial for us both. He has been slacking a lot lately, due partly to his own laziness and partly to my lack of desire (being overwhelmed with work). I would love to have a submissive who is dedicated and performs tasks without being asked, but j is not one of those subs. I accept that, but I do believe he needs an ass kicking every now and then!

New Gadget on the Blog

2010-03-13T17:29:00.003-05:00

At my request, j has added meebo to My blog. It will allow Me to chat with you, My readers. If you see Me online, say hi!

House-husband in the Making

2010-03-13T15:46:00.005-05:00

So many things have happened since my last post! Due to the poor economy, we have decided to close our business. Financially, we were taking a loss each month, and even though we have put a lot of our money into it, it is time to get out. Fortunately, I work outside of the business, and my income is enough to support our family, although it will mean living on a very tight budget until my husband gets a job. I am confident that he can, although it might take a while.

A few days ago, he started referring to himself as a house-husband. At first, I was a little taken aback by this, but now I am beginning to embrace it. I like the idea of him spending his days caring for our daughter, the house, and meeting My needs. While initially through the stress of closing the business my Dominance had waned, I feel it was returned, as strong as it ever was.

One of the great things about having a submissive around all the time is knowing that my needs (whatever they may be) will be met at a moment's notice. This morning, for instance, as he got out of the shower, I ordered j to lick Me. He moaned a bit as he got between my legs and began lapping away at my pussy. I became so wet, and enjoyed grinding myself against his face as he licked me, ensuring that entire face was covered in my juices.

I squeezed and slapped his balls, and rubbed his cock periodically. He was so aroused that he could take very little before he pulled away from me (his sign that he is close to the edge). In fact, when he did ultimately climax, I was not even touching him.

I plan on giving him a list of tasks I expect him to complete each day. Amidst the chores, I will be sure to intermingle different tasks put in for my pleasure, such as wearing clothespins on his nipples, writing a post for his blog, making a sexy video for me, or putting in a butt plug before going about his other chores. The ideas abound!

In the midst of all these transitions, I have been fantasizing quite a bit. My developing friendship with another submissive has caused me to fantasize about having j and him together, both serving Me simultaneously. I'll be sure to post that fantasy soon... as it is VERY hot!!

Feeldoe Revisited

2010-02-08T22:53:00.004-05:00

We have had a Feeldoe for a couple of years, but have only used it about a half dozen times. Although I really love the feeling of the Feeldoe inside me as I penetrate j, it has proven difficult to control and often feels like it might slide out of me. For those reasons, I generally prefer to use a traditional strap-on. But- the Feeldoe is so damn sexy! Yesterday, I decided to give it another try.

I had been teasing j for a couple of days, telling him that I was going to be inside him soon, grabbing his ass. I love taunting him like this...letting him know what is coming, but not when.

I began by telling j to take off his clothes and get out some lube. I instructed him to lube up his ass, and finger it for a few minutes. I simply sat back and watched, enjoying the view as he moved his body about, trying to get deeper penetration. I then allowed him to penetrate himself with a dildo. After a couple of minutes he had it inserted all the way, and I knew I was just moments away from being inside of him.

Instead of the usual strap-on, I pulled out the Feeldoe. I think part of the reason it worked so well this time was that I used a very thin layer of lube. I put the bulb into my wet pussy, and stroked my new cock. It is a beautiful royal blue color, and while obviously not realistic, it is sexy nonetheless. j laid on his back on the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. I slowly inserted my cock into his asshole, and began fucking him in earnest. In and out I went, over and over. I felt the Feeldoe deep inside me as I thrusted deeper into him. I stroked his cock as I plunged mine deeper into him.

The feeling was very intense, and this time I had no sensation of the Feeldoe coming out from inside of me. We ended up making love later on in the day. Both experiences were wonderful, and a great way to spend part of the day.

Home Alone

2010-01-02T09:49:00.004-05:00

A good friend of ours offered to keep our daughter overnight tonight. I decided we should take advantage of our child-free time by staying home. j changed into his attire that he wears when we are alone- consisting of his anklets (which he always wears) and his training collar. He also wore a black leather jock strap (mmmm!!).

It ended up being an evening of intense D/s fun as well as relaxation, which is a great mix! I wanted j to take a few pictures of me, which he did. One may be making it onto my profile soon. We had a great dinner, and had a nice time just sitting together talking. I love when j is mostly naked/in his training collar for me. I find myself touching him a lot- pinching his nipples, grabbing his cock, rubbing up against him, feeling his ass.

I wanted to take advantage of our night alone for more than just relaxation. I brought j into the bedroom and instructed him to lay on the middle of the bed. I strapped his wrists to both ends of the headboard, and then secured his ankles together at the end of the bed. I love knowing that he is helpless as I have my fun with him. And, the make him even more helpless, I put a blindfold on him. I started teasing him verbally, asking if he thought he deserved to taste me, if he thought he was worthy of licking me. I put my fingers in his mouth and made him suck them. I then mounted his face and began to grind my pussy against his mouth. Being on top of his face gives me a great amount of control as to where he is licking and sucking, and I used that to my advantage, moving back and forth until I was over the edge.

But I wasn't done with him yet. I wanted to try out the in and out penis gag/dildo that he had gotten me a few months ago from Stockroom. I had him suck on the penis gag, as I pushed it in and out of his mouth. I got very wet watching him suck that little cock, and soon wanted a cock of my own! I removed the gag from his mouth and began to use the dildo on my pussy. I was amazed by how big it felt inside of me. As he laid on the bed restrained and blindfolded, I pounded the dildo in and out of me. I made sure that he could hear the sounds of it sliding in and out, and of course my moans as well.

After a nice climax from the dildo, I pulled it out of me and strapped it around his head. He began sucking on the gag in earnest, and I must say that he looked adorable with a big cock protruding from his mouth. I climbed on top and took the cock deep inside me, lifting and lowering my body to take its length. j began thrusting upwards with his head, making the fucking even more intense. I went from soft moans, to loud moans, to screams of ecstasy. The feeling was unbelievable!

Throughout all of this fun, j had remained erect. I decided we would make a video for his blog. Recently we decided to start a "Will It Fuck" video segment, where I give him various items I want him to try to fuck. Tonight's video was j fucking a cucumber. I really got off on instructing him to kiss 'her', lick 'her', taste 'her' and finally fuck 'her'. He reached orgasm very quickly, no doubt due to all the stimulation he received beforehand as I rode his face!

On an unrelated note, I spent a couple more hours chatting with my new online submissive. I am enjoying getting to know him. Chatting with him makes me laugh and yet turns me on at the same time.

Seven Seconds to Ecstasy

2009-12-28T17:28:00.003-05:00

j and I have enjoyed a couple of lazy days at home. It has been nice to sleep in, spend lots of time talking, and just enjoy each other again. Simple things, like just holding each other and kissing, had been neglected for far too long. As j and I lay in bed the other day, I leaned over and began kissing him. I love the feeling of his mouth against mine, sucking on his bottom lip, tasting him and hearing his soft moans as we kiss.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, I realized that it had been a while since he had last cum. I decided to tease him a bit. I told him he had thirty seconds to make himself cum, but that if he didn't climax in thirty seconds, he would not be allowed to cum at all. I thought that for sure he would not be able to cum in that short a time, and therefore would be teased and denied.

I began counting, and for the first few seconds he didn't respond. I think he was in shock a bit. A few seconds in he began stroking his cock furiously. He used both hands, the fingertips of both hands wrapped around the head of his cock. When I got to ten seconds, he had to slow down, virtually to a stop. I began to laugh as I realized why. After seven seconds of stroking he was on the verge of an orgasm! Here I was, thinking I would be challenging him by getting him to try to cum in thirty seconds and he could do it in seven!! Unreal!

I guess it could be his years of chronic masturbation. Maybe if you do something frequently enough, you get really, really good at it.

For the rest of the day, we giggled off and on about his 'seven second' record.

Follow Up to Christmas Sucks

2009-12-27T12:59:00.003-05:00

In the past couple of days I have recovered a bit from the Christmas slight. Although I have done my best to forgive and forget, not having a present from j on Christmas morning has left a wound that will take time to heal. Still, having some time together has helped me to feel better.

I greatly appreciate the input from those who have responded. I believe that j simply did not feel that he could live up to some of the gifts he had gotten me in the past. Like most men, he failed to looked beyond the big money gifts to the big thought gifts (which I would have liked just as much, if not more anyway). One of my readers responded that since he was so limited in time, he did not have the time necessary to come up with a thoughtful gift. He actually did have quite a bit of time. Even though he worked all the way up until Christmas, his time at work was more of a supervisory role (and he just needed to be there). He had even told me that he felt that he did not have much to do while he was there.

We have talked quite a bit about things, and it seems we are both feeling better. I feel quite confident he will not make this mistake again in the future.

Again, I appreciate the support. Time to move on! Juicy, hot, fun post to follow!!

Christmas Sucks (and I don't mean cock)

2009-12-25T18:32:00.002-05:00

It's 6:30 Christmas night and I'm stewing on the anger I have felt inside me all day. I kept it bottled up most of the day so I could enjoy time with my children. I am happy to report they had a wonderful day, and Santa brought them all kinds of great toys. I am, however, very upset that j did not get me ANYTHING for Christmas.

Money has been tight this year, due to the crappy economy, so I wasn't really expecting anything big. But I cannot begin to express how hurt I am that he didn't care enough to get me anything. I got him a $50 itunes gift card. I know, it's not exactly the most thoughtful gift, but he loves music and is always wanting to download more. I know many times he resists buying an album, and now he will be able to get what he wants, at least for a while.

At first, I wasn't even that upset that he didn't get me anything. But the more I thought about it, the more disappointed I became. Here is the man who supposedly adores and worships me, and yet he can't get to the store to get me anything? It really hurts, and makes me feel like I am disillusioned about a lot of things, including how he truly feels about me. I am starting to wonder if his submission to me is more about sex than it is about love, and that really hurts.

He was supposed to spend the entire week with me, but that hasn't happened. He worked last weekend, all week long, and will work again tomorrow. He is trying to keep his business afloat, and I appreciate that (really- I do), but where do I fit in? Is it no longer important to try and keep our marriage afloat?

Part of me wonders if I am making too much out of this, but I really don't think I am. We NEVER said that we weren't going to get each other anything, so that wasn't the issue. I don't know. The whole thing sucks. I would love to hear that opinions of any of my readers. Has this ever happened to you? Did you ever not get your wife/girlfriend something for Christmas?

Hope everyone is having a very Merry Christmas! Now putting my smiley face back on to enjoy the evening with my kids.

Female Masturbation

2009-12-03T17:31:00.003-05:00

I came home from work today feeling exceptionally horny. I don't think there was any particular reason behind it, but I could not keep my mind off of sex. Despite having things to do, I decided to indulge in some masturbation. j was working late, and therefore was not around to service me.

Female masturbation is so different from male masturbation. Women luxuriate in masturbation, much like taking a bubble bath. It is not about how quickly a woman can climax, but rather about the experience as a whole. When I masturbate alone (as opposed to masturbating when I am being intimate with j), I take my time. I enjoy my breasts, rubbing them and holding them, lightly pinching my nipples. I rub my fingertips lightly over my body and love the tickling-exciting sensation it gives me. And when I do finally touch my pussy, it is slow and passionate. I rub my labia, I lightly touch my clit, I put my finger at the entrance of me and feel how wet I have become. When I do finally reach orgasm, I moan loudly. My moans are almost animalistic and I feel completely uninhibited.

Masturbation seems to be yet another area where women get it right and men do not. For men, at least the ones I have known, masturbation is fast, a means to an end. There is no foreplay, there is no enjoyment of the body- there is just rushed stroking. I am always amazed by how quickly j can achieve orgasm when I let him touch his cock. And so many men masturbate far too frequently. Multiple times in a day, even.

I guess a good analogy is this... male masturbation is like eating from the buffet at Shoney's, while female masturbation is like a five-course dinner at a fine restaurant.

CollarMe Gives Me a Headache

2009-12-02T17:09:00.003-05:00

I am sure most you readers are familiar with CollarMe. I joined a few months ago, thinking it would be nice to get to know others in the lifestyle. And, of course, the idea of having another sub serve me has always been a turn-on. I expected that I would receive messages from a fair number of people. What I did not expect was some of the messages I have received.

It seems that a good portion of the submissive population there thinks that after a single message back and forth, a Domme is ready to tie them up and beat them. Most of them send one line emails, frequently with poor grammar or misspellings. I have received enough penis pictures to make me want to gag. Really? Seriously? I want a man to serve me and you think the best way to introduce yourself is by messaging me with a picture of your wang? Ugh!

I have received a few nice, thoughtful messages, and I appreciate them. I respond to them, even if they don't meet my needs, because I appreciate the time and care they put into writing me. But frankly, the CollarMe experience is pretty disappointing. I'm sure there are good subs on there, but I am not finding many!

Love Will Find A Way

2009-12-01T20:11:00.006-05:00

It has been a while since I last posted, mainly because I haven't had a whole lot to write about, at least not pertaining to D/s. Things had been on hold while j and I both dealt with other issues, but I am pleased to say that it seems we are heading back in the right direction.

Yesterday was a rough day for me and on top of that, j and I were not communicating well at all. I was/am overwhelmed as I work on my Masters thesis, and everything was/is setting me off. Hopefully the worst will be behind me soon, but in the meantime I am a bitchy Domme! I messaged j yesterday, griping about my day. In typical male fashion, he wanted to fix the things that were causing me problems. While I appreciate that he desires to fix things, I really just wanted him to let me vent and try to understand. My irritation grew as I couldn't get him to understand what I needed.

Today has been much better. We were able to spend a good amount of time talking about what went wrong yesterday, and what I need from him. What he failed to see was that had I wanted him to fix things, I would have asked him to. I just wanted him to listen, care, comfort and assure me that this, too, will pass.

j unexpectedly spent the day at home (thanks to a heating unit that needed to be replaced). When I arrived home this evening, he was naked, completely shaved, wearing his collar, anklets, and one of his leather cock/ball contraptions. He looked sexy and delicious! Although our time was limited, we did engage in a bit of play and I even allowed him an orgasm. As always, of course, it was on my terms.

One of my favorite things to do with j is to play with and suck on his nipples. He used to hate this, finding it a bit painful. But through time and training he has come to enjoy and crave it. As I sucked, licked and tongued his nipples, his cock grew in size. I wrapped my thumb and index finger around his cock, just under the head. I stroked it a bit, and he kept pulling away from me, knowing he was on the verge of orgasm (and, as usual, not wanting to have one unless I okayed it). After several rounds of this I told him that he could cum- but I stopped moving my hand. His desire was so intense that he thrusted his entire body up and down on the bed in order to make his cock move against my hand. He really worked for that orgasm, and I enjoyed allowing him that release.

No marriage is easy, and while a D/s marriage (for us) is more fulfilling, it also requires more work and better communication. But we have been at this for five years, and have FAR more good times than bad ones.

Pulling Things Back Together

2009-11-14T07:19:00.003-05:00

I have started this post five different times, and keep deleting it. This morning the words are not flowing well, but at the same time I feel the need to post. Things between j and I are improving, and I can see that he is working hard to serve me (despite me telling him that I felt we should discontinue our D/s practices, at least for the time being).

I am enjoying his efforts, and I must admit it is nice to be able to sit back and take in his submission without being Dominant. When I am Dominant, at times I feel I have to be something akin to a mother to j. I tell him what I expect from him, and then I have to go around behind him checking to see if it is done (and done well). If it is not, I have to come up with an appropriate punishment, or "lecture" him.

For me, this is not working very well. Too often things are not done in a timely manner, or the way I expect, and I am left feeling let down. That decreases my feelings of Dominance, because if my commands are not followed, surely he is not submitting as he should (and maybe I'm not being as Dominant as I should be). I get off on him submitting to me. His submission drives me to be more and more Dominant (just as I would imagine my Dominance drives him to be more and more submissive).

In an ideal world, j would follow my direction without question and without fail. The "punishments" that I give would be administered simply as an exciting way to increase my Dominance over him. And, most importantly, if I told him to do something, I could rest assured that it would be done and done well. Now I know our world is far from ideal, and that many times life gets in the way, but our venture into D/s began as a result of his suggestion. I have encouraged this time away from D/s because I feel it will increase his appreciation for the way things were. I hope that as we return to our roles, we work harder to be Dominant and submissive out of sheer desire, not a sense of obligation or feeling it is the way things should be.

As my mother always said, "Be a labor great or small, do it well or not at all."

Hating the Hiatus!

2009-11-07T15:31:00.007-05:00

What do you do when your partner is unable to assume their D/s role? I'm finding myself contemplating this lately, as j is struggling with some issues in his life and basically cannot be submissive. It is in part because he doesn't have the time to fulfill his duties, and also because he is not emotionally available to give himself to me.

Things have been this way, to varying degrees, for a few months. The first couple months I was able to cope well- I was busy with things going on in my life, and the lack of a D/s connection between us wasn't obviously apparent. But lately it's been nagging at me, and I miss feeling the closeness that I only truly experience when he submits to me.

Part of it is neglect: my panties have not been hand-washed in quite some time, I haven't had a pedicure in ages, and it's even bubbling over into our sex life. Recently I asked him to rub me... I had an orgasm pretty quickly since it had been a long time since he had touched me, and when I reached over to stroke him, he was limp. I was troubled because that is extremely unusual for him.

It's tough- part of me wants to be angry at him and assert my Dominance, putting him back in his place. But at the same time I realize that he needs time to focus on his own needs, not mine.

I told him today that I am giving him this time. He didn't ask for it, but he needs it. He can't meet my needs until he takes care of himself, and right now he is a mess.

I can't fix things for him. If I could, I would. So I sit here wait, and hope that things will improve. And fantasize.

Fantasizing - Part 2

2009-11-04T17:56:00.003-05:00

* continued from previous post *

He kneels and looks up at me, in desperation. "Look at the floor, you are not worthy of watching me," I say, and before the words finish flowing from my mouth I lift my leg and push his head down with my foot. His head lowers until it is resting on the floor, near my shoe. "Lick it," I say, and immediately his tongue begins lapping my shoes. My toes are exposed in this particular pair of heels, and he licks closer and closer to them. I can tell he is eager and yearning to have my toes in his mouth. "Beg me, boy! Beg me for the privilege of sucking on my toes," I challenge him.

Immediately, out of enthusiasm I am sure, he looks up at me to beg. My hand draws back and I slap his face. I hear the gasps of those around us. "I did NOT tell you to look at me. I told you to beg!" He looks at my feet and begins begging in earnest, almost whining as he attempts to earn the honor of licking my feet. I beckon to j to come over and remove my shoes, and now I have two submissive men kneeling before me. As my admirer continues to beg and plea, I shove my toes into his mouth, mid-sentence. He begins licking and sucking passionately, as if he was dying of thirst and was just offered a glass of water.

I meet j's eyes and whisper, "Undress him." I know he does not want to do this, and that beyond that he is afraid of what might happen after my admirer is naked. Still, he follows my command, and as my admirer suckles my toes he is being stripped of his clothes. As his pants are removed, I see his erection. He is absolutely enormous, his hard cock nearly twice the size of j's. I am sure this makes j uncomfortable, which just adds to my excitement.

"Mistress, he is undressed, as you asked," j says meekly. I push my admirer away from my feet and stand up. I turn my back to him and push my pants down, slowly. I taunt not only j and my admirer, but the rest of the room as well, as they see me exposing more and more of myself. As I remove my pants from around my ankles, I call out my next command. "Both of you, lick my ass, now!"

Within seconds, I have two tongues on my ass, licking it. I feel the tongue of my love against my asshole, pushing against it and tickling it. I feel the tongue of my admirer as well, slightly beneath my asshole, They continue licking and I feel my pussy getting wet. I turn my body around so that I am leaning back against the stool and give my next order. "My pussy- lick it." I hear j gasp, the way that he always does when I give him the honor of tasting me, and then I feel them both there, tonguing and tasting me. My juices are flowing steadily now, and I have begun to moan.

The feeling of two tongues on me, lapping away, as a room full of people look on is too much for me, and I have a tremendous orgasm. My moans are almost animalistic in nature, coming from deep within me. My hips thrust up against their faces over and over again, as my body shakes in pleasure.

I feel my legs giving out beneath me, and I push them away. The pleasure is too intense and I can take no more. They are both on the floor now, looking bewildered. "You're coming with me! I'm not done with you yet," I say, as I quickly put my pants back on and head towards the door. I look over my shoulder and see j scampering to close his pants over his intense erection. My admirer is sitting on the floor, naked, looking bewildered. "Come on- get up! I want both of you tonight," I say, and he appears shocked but excited by my demand. Ahh, the fun to come!

Fantasizing

2009-10-22T19:18:00.003-04:00

A nasty cold has me home in bed. Normally this would put my feelings of Dominance on ice, but today it seems to have done the opposite. Despite feeling icky, my mind has been going a mile a minute, fantasizing about j. My dreams have centered around it as well.

The fantasy du jour is this: j and I are in a room full of people. While they are conversing softly and drinking, all of their eyes are on me. I am dressed in a black leather bra and black leather pants, and wearing black high heels. j is shaved completely, including his head, and is wearing pair of gray sheer panties. (No coincidence that he was wearing these this morning as I drifted off to sleep, I am sure!)

I sit down on a stool and j lays across my lap. I lower his pants and begin spanking him, lightly at first and then harder. I can feel his cock harden against my legs and I alternate spanking and rubbing his ass. The more I spank him, the quieter those around us get until the room is silent except for the sound of my hand coming down on him. The sound seems to reverberate, and his body begins to quiver. I feel his member leaking pre-cum on my leg, and he desperately tries to create some friction against his cock by moving his body around. I laugh at his desperation, and with all my strength I kick his body to the floor.

he lays on the floor, a puddle of a man, needing to cum and yet filled with the desire to please. I look at one of the men who has been watching us. his eyes on transfixed on me, and I motion to him to come my way. he stands before me and then kneels upon my command.

*** to be continued ***

Enjoying My Feet

2009-10-19T20:01:00.003-04:00

I find my feet to be one of the most attractive parts of my body. I have always had strong, flexible feet and ankles. I think nothing of picking up things I drop with my toes. But until we began exploring D/s some five-ish years ago, I did not view them as part of my sexual being.

I receive a lot of pleasure from my feet. j massages them nightly, and has found a point on the sole of my feet that is very erotic. When he rubs his thumb in this area I get very aroused. Of course, there is something truly intoxicating about having a man lick and kiss my feet, belittling himself before me.

I have begun to realize that I enjoy the power my feet bring me. I like hearing the sound of my high heels when I walk around, or the glances of others when they see my shoes. Sure, my tennis shoes may be more comfortable, but my heels are the ultimate aphrodisiac- for me and for those around me!

Unexpected Post-Shower Fun

2009-10-18T20:08:00.003-04:00

I have been away from the blog for a couple weeks. Mainly because life has been busy, and I have been feeling a bit under the weather. I have come to the conclusion that my allergies have hit me especially hard this year, and hopefully soon a frost will hit and I will be better until spring!

j and I have been working a lot, which has left little time for our D/s play. Fortunately, we were blessed with some alone time today as our daughter went to her friend's house. I must admit that I wasn't feeling particularly in the mood, either sexually or Dominantly (is that a word?). The only thing that sounded good was a nice, hot shower. I took my shower, enjoying the time and the feeling of the hot water hitting my body.

When I got out of the shower, j brought me a towel and began to dry me off. He had removed his clothes, except for his panties. They were a particularly attractive pair, and I couldn't help but notice that a large bulge began to form as we kissed. Just kissing passionately- feeling his tongue in my mouth, sucking on his lip, tasting him- it all got me feeling aroused and Dominant.

I had j lay down on the bed, with his head hanging off the side of the bed. I straddled his head, and demanded that he lick my pussy like a good little bitch. And lick it he did. He lapped away at my pussy, clit and asshole with his tongue. It had been quite some time since my last orgasm, and I came rather quickly, leaning over his body and scratching down his sides with my fingernails. The feeling of that first climax was just so intense!

He continued to lick my pussy some more, sucking on my clit, and reaching his arms back around me. He grasped my ass and pulled me closer to his face. I ended up literally humping his head, climaxing yet again. Realizing that I needed a break after two intense orgasms, I told him to turn around on the bed. I snuggled up against him, kissing him and tasting my wetness on him.

I tempted his body- touching and stroking his cock, pinching and sucking on his nipples, slapping and squeezing his balls (hey- a Domme's gotta have fun too!) I teased him for a bit before asking him to get his Aneros and some lube. I instructed him to insert the Aneros. I usually do it for him, but I wanted to watch him put it in this time. He groaned as he slid it in, and I resumed teasing his cock. I got him close, several times. The precum began flowing from his cock, and I dabbed it up with my finger and made him taste it. I decided to grant him an orgasm, and enjoyed watching his hips thrust against my hand. I knew the Aneros added such intensity to his orgasm as his moaning and thrusting was very powerful.

The rest of our afternoon was spent watching our football team lose, and watching a scary movie that had us snuggling together on the couch. Before he left to get our daughter, I made sure my pussy got some more attention.

Tonight I'm feeling invigorated- Dominant, sexy, relaxed and feeling like Me again!

Domination Goes Mainstream

2009-09-29T16:55:00.002-04:00

I was listening to a football game in the car the other day when I heard a commercial that caught my attention. The commercial was for the Fox cartoon lineup (Simpsons, Family Guy, etc). It began with a woman speaking in a sultry voice saying, "I know you want to be dominated." She continues, "It feels so good to submit." At the end of the conversation, the voice says something about the safe word being animation (I think that is what it was, but I was so shocked by this commercial, I may have heard the wrong safe word!)

I love when I hear things like this. I like that others are becoming familiar with BDSM. Even though many of the references to BDSM are silly or over the top, I do think that it increases awareness and acceptance of people who love differently, as we do. While considering this post, I came across a great website, Welcome to Master Kelly.com, which gives examples of tv references to BDSM presently as well as historically. It is an impressive list, and while I was aware of some of the references, quite a few were new to me. He breaks the list up by decades, going back as far as the 60's! Definitely worth checking out!

A Little More Satisfaction

2009-09-28T21:00:00.005-04:00

Oddly enough, j and I rarely have sexual intercourse. There are many reasons for this, one of which is that I keep j so on the edge sexually that intercourse is generally over very quickly. Also, I like playing with j, teasing him, tempting him and I have more control when he is not inside of me.

Nonetheless, every now and then I just want to fuck. I had been teasing j for days through texts and little comments, as well as flashing him on occasion. I knew that had I allowed him inside of me, it would end quickly. Fortunately, we have some prescription numbing cream that is very effective in allowing our lovemaking to be quite prolonged.

I had j lick me for quite a long time, and each time I came it seemed that the orgasm was stronger than the previous one. But even though I was immensely enjoying his tongue, I really wanted to fuck! And fuck we did! With the help of the numbing cream, he felt very little, and I went to town on him. I rode him for a long time, and came so hard I scraped my fingernails down his chest, drawing a bit of blood. It was good, it was great, it was freaking mindblowing!

When we finished (after several position changes), we snuggled for a while, dozing in each other's arms. And while it may not have been our typical D/s sex, it was powerful and loving.

It was a wonderful release, and quite refreshing at the end of a long weekend.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

2009-09-26T14:47:00.003-04:00

I'm a pretty understanding person. I understand that sometimes things happen beyond our control. But it is difficult to be understanding when things like this happen... a lot.

We were all set to have dinner with Domina and anthony tonight. By all set, I mean that j and I had taken our daughter to her grandmother's house for the weekend (3 hours away), j had gotten everything for dinner together, we had arranged to have our dogs elsewhere for the evening, the house had been picked up. j had texted and called anthony around noon and did not get a response. Around 2 pm, he got a phone call from anthony saying that he and Domina would not be coming. Something had come up with his kids, and he would not be able to make it.

I was in the bedroom, getting ready, when j came in. He said to me, "You know, we need to find new friends. D and a will not be coming tonight." He went on to explain that a had called, and that something was going on with his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids.

This should not have come as a surprise to me. As you may remember, two weekends ago, right in the middle of a great dinner, Domina and anthony had to leave unexpectedly when he had to go pick up his daughter. j and I were quite disappointed, but at the same time understanding. We have both been divorced, and we have kids. We know that sometimes things come up.

It was their idea to get together this weekend to try things again. It was a great idea- it required a little finagling on our part to make arrangements for our daughter, but we felt that their company was worth it.

Right now I don't know what to say. It's mid-afternoon, and we live in a rural area so it's not like we can pick up and go to a nice dinner or a movie and make the best of a bad situation. Yes, we could be intimate, but as angry as I am right now I might take it out on j.

This whole thing makes me sad. I am, and have always been, a giving person. I think nothing of being their for my friends when they need me, and when Domina and anthony were having a rough time, I did everything I could to help them both. I talked/emailed/texted Domina for hours on end. I met with both of them and tried to help them reconcile.

Even after it seemed their relationship was drifting back towards "Vanillaville," I wanted to remain friends with Domina. As I have posted before, she is the type of person I would like to be friends with even if we did not share the common bond of being Dommes. The fact that we do is the icing on the cake.

j and I were both excited when it seemed that the D/s passion was back between them. We were happy for them, and happy for ourselves as well, since we had first met as a D/s couple seeking another D/s couple for friendship. And while part of me wants to just let the disappointment go and move on, I do not know if I can.

To their credit, they did try to shift things around to come out for a short time. But it seemed pointless, since they would be driving quite a bit for a short amount of time here, and really the offer to do that only came up after I got upset about them cancelling on us.

So here I am, dressed up and looking quite hot, and feeling not too unlike how I did two weeks ago when they left in the midst of a fantastic dinner to attend to a crisis. I really like both of them, j and I love spending time with them, but if their lives are in so much turmoil that they cannot keep their plans (or at least give a reasonable amount of notice), I am not sure that it is beneficial to continue on.

I Love Me

2009-09-22T16:50:00.005-04:00

I love being a woman.
I love that I look sexy in heels.
I love putting on lipstick every morning.
I love spending time with my children.
I love playing Rock Band and Guitar Hero.
I love spanking my submissive.
I love taking a bubble bath.
I love the smell outside after it rains.
I love having my pussy licked.
I love watching silly cartoons.
I love laughing.
I love putting on warm clothes after I have been swimming
I love catching up with old friends.
I love my family.
I love taking j to the brink, and then not letting him get off.
I love going to the beach.
I love curling up on the couch.
I love being in control.
I love the smell of pumpkin pie.
I love wearing a strap-on.
I love my job.
I love playing games with my kids.
I love masturbating.
I love tickling j.
I love going on vacation.
I love a good glass of wine.
I love torturing j's balls.
I love me.

The Difference Between Being Dominant and Domineering

2009-09-16T20:15:00.004-04:00

I think sometimes people confuse being Dominant with being Domineering. There is a big difference between the two. As a Dominant woman, I am assertive and powerful. I am not afraid to express my needs, and I expect that my submissive will be willing to put me first and foremost in his life. On the other hand, I always, always consider the needs of my sub. I keep his best interests in mind, and my actions reflect that.

People who are domineering bully others into getting their way. They scream, fuss, bark orders, throw fits, and push people around. In general, they are angry people. They don't consider the needs of those around them, but rather focus on their own needs wholeheartedly.

When I ask j to do something, I expect that he will do it, and he rarely disappoints me. I don't need to scream my orders, or whine about them. Rather, I simply tell him what I need from him. I am willing to occasionally make sacrifices for j, and I do that without regret. I laugh a lot- I enjoy life! And at the end of the night, I wrap my arms around my naked sub and feel blessed. And that is that this lifestyle is all about!

Yowzah!!

2009-09-14T19:54:00.004-04:00

I was blessed today with some alone time with j. I decided to play with our Rimba electrosex unit a bit. I really like the feeling of control that it gives me, and it excites me to be able to straddle the line that separates pleasure from pain. By turning the knobs on the unit, I take j to a level of pleasure that is almost unfathomable- and then by turning them just a bit more his pleasure turns to pain.

But for today, it was all about pleasure for j- well, at least for a while!

With the electrodes strapped around his cock, I began turning the knobs on the Rimba. As the sensations overcame his body, he began to purr in pleasure. I sat between his outstretched legs and rubbed his asshole, slowly inserting my finger and applying pressure to his prostate. I then turned the Rimba up, very slowly, teasing him with the control I had over his body.

As I got closer to that extreme pleasure/pain threshold, his moans went from sporadic outburts to a continuous groan of pleasure. His hips lifted off the bed, and he asked me if I would allow him to cum. I allowed him, and his orgasm was extremely powerful.

Of course, I wasn't quite done with him yet! I got out my Wartenburg pinwheel and began scrolling it over his body. I ran it over his legs, his cock and balls, his stomach, chest and nipples. he kept jumping and yelping, reminding me of the little bitch that he is. Honestly, it is not that painful- more of a prickling/tickling sensation, but it makes him jump and I think he is afraid that I have the power to hurt him.

After coming down from his high, he gave me three very strong orgasms. I think he was surprised, when I allowed him to touch me, by how wet I was. I really do get off having control over his body, having the power to grant or deny him an orgasm at my whim.

Recap of a Great Evening with Friends

2009-09-13T13:27:00.005-04:00

Last night our good friends Domina and anthony came out to see us. They thoughtfully made the drive to us, coming about an hour and a half, since we had both had crazy weeks here. It was great seeing them again! As usual, they both looked very nice, and Domina confessed that they barely made it to us without having to stop for a make-out session on the way. And while I did not confess it last night, j and I spent pretty much the entire day making out off and on. Seems that knowing we were going to be getting together with D and a got us both going!

While our night ended prematurely with a bit of a crisis involving one of anthony's children, a good time was had by all. I cannot being to describe how freeing it is to be able to be yourself completely, and know that you don't need to censor anything. We talked about so many things- from relationships and D/s, to food and Disney rides (yes, seriously!). I think I have written this before, but the great thing about Domina and anthony is that these are people I would choose to hang out with even if they were in a vanilla relationship- the fact that they share our D/s desires is the icing on the cake!

Even though the night was cut short, we are already planning our next get together. Domina posted on her blog this morning that the time we spend together brings up new conversations between her and anthony. I feel the same way. For us, it has been this way ever since we had our first chat online. Their relationship has spawned many ideas (for instance, j wearing panties every day is a direct result of anthony doing the same). I am sure that the more we get to know one another, the more our respective relationships will be enhanced.

Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

2009-09-11T16:10:00.002-04:00

Last night, while j was having to work late, I instructed him to post to his blog. Considering that his role in much of the work he was doing was supervisory, I knew he would have time on his hands. Also, I assumed that since I had put his anklets back on, he might be feeling more submissive again.

I was more than a little disappointed when I read his post. His post was full of complaints about how busy life has been, and how the general chaos of life's events had prevented him from feeling submissive.

Just a few hours prior to him posting, I had put his anklets back on. I had also told him that our friends (who are also involved in the lifestyle) would be visiting on Saturday. His post did not touch on any of this. Honestly, I just felt confused. How could I be feeling so Dominant, and yet he not be feeling submissive? We have been in the lifestyle for a good length of time now, and for the most part, the more Dominant I am the more submissive he becomes (and vice versa).

I went to bed last night rather vexed. I shared my feelings with j before going to bed, but felt that if I slept on it I would feel better in the morning. I woke up this morning and for a few seconds it was like any other morning, and then- as if slapped in the face- I remembered his post. It had bugged me so much that I was still upset the next morning. We talked a bit about it before we went to work this morning, and some things were resolved.

I know that j was/is frustrated because he has been working long hours and has extra responsibilities. But I am entering a new profession entirely, and am working and going to school as well to get my Masters degree. Yes, he has a lot on him, but so do I! And if I can have a lot on me and still feel Dominant, why can't he have a lot on him and still feel submissive?

I must say that now, almost 24 hours later, I am feeling better. I know that j is struggling with everything that is going on in his life right now, and he is doing the best that he can to be the best husband he can to me. I reread his post today, for the third time. Part of his post was about how I had recently removed his cuffs for a few days because we would be visiting with family. He wrote:

"i noticed immediately the lightness of my feet and legs. i knew deep inside i felt incomplete. Sometimes it's really frustrating to have to put on these "masks" for other people."

While his post was not what I would have hoped for, these three sentences fill me with a lot of hope.

Exciting Weekend Ahead

2009-09-10T19:35:00.003-04:00

It has been a long week for j and I (hence the lack of posting!). We have both been very busy at our respective jobs, with very little down time. Still, we have managed to keep the D/s flowing between us.

I had removed j's anklets last weekend when we went to visit my father. I knew he would be swimming, and I did not think it was appropriate for him to wear them. When we returned, I had not put them back on him. Don't get me wrong, I had not forgotten, I just really did not have time to put them back on him properly. It did not seem right to just slap them on. : ) j sweetly reminded me this morning, as he raised up his pant legs and said, "Mistress, my legs feel too light." It was very touching, as I know that j feels awkward asking for anything like this, since he feels it is my place to decide. I knew that for him to get to the point that he asked me about it, he must have been very desperate to have his anklets back on. Tonight I invited him into the bedroom and had him undress. I took his anklets out of the cabinet, and he got in the fetal position on the bed. I liked seeing him so vulnerable, it made the moment that much more intense for me. I put his anklets back on, then groped his body a bit. I played with his cock and testicles with my toes, squeezing them.

j has been very good to me this week. he has made (or offered to make) breakfast each morning, sent me roses at work, and has been getting our daughter off to school each day. I am very blessed to have such an attentive sub!

Now on to the purpose of this post... our friends Domina and anthony, who had pulled away from D/s due to some turmoil in their relationship, now seem to be embracing the lifestyle again. Domina asked us to join them for dinner this weekend, but I was not really sure if either of us would be up to it. She thoughtfully suggested that they come to us (saving us the drive). I decided this is just what we need after a week of working too hard- to be able to spend some time with our good friends, feeling free to be ourselves. I am really looking forward to it!

Domina is a fantastic Woman, and our friendship means a lot to me. When she told me that she and anthony were taking a break from D/s, I was disappointed. She is such a kindred spirit, and sharing our journeys together has made me stronger, and given me countless ideas of ways to dominate j. I am sure that our time together will be wonderful!

The Role of Women in Society, Now and In the Future

2009-08-30T20:57:00.004-04:00

Throughout the years, women have been the caretakers of the family. They have birthed children, cared for them and molded them into young men and women. They have cared for the house, cleaning and cooking, laboring to meet the needs of others. They have submitted to the needs and desires of their husbands, both sexually and otherwise, as their own needs have gone overlooked.

But things are changing. No longer are women under the thumb of the man they are with. No longer are they restricted in the pursuit of their careers. No longer are they expected to drop everything at the whim of the man they are with. While society still has a ways to go in viewing and treating women with the respect and dignity they deserve, we are moving in the right direction.

Considering how far we, as a society, have come in the past hundred years, I wonder where we might be a hundred years from now. Will my female descendants oversee their husbands, much as I do mine? Will that be the norm? What about a hundred years from then? Will the present societies be gradually shifting towards matriarchal dominance?

While I would be content for women to achieve true equality, my desire would be that women realize their true power and do not settle for just being equal.

Birthday Challenge Results

2009-08-30T20:49:00.005-04:00

The birthday challenge is officially over. j had five orgasms in 24 hours, which I believe is a first for him (though I think we came close when we were first dating). By the fifth, he had very little ejaculate left. he is now totally drained, both testicularly and physically. I was happy to have given him this gift of pleasure, but now play time is over! Back to MY pleasure!!

A Birthday Challenge

2009-08-29T13:01:00.004-04:00

This is j's birthday weekend, and as part of birthday tradition I have allowed him to have sex with me in any way of his choosing for twenty-four hours. It seems like a fair trade to me- 364 days for me, one for him. Initially he had chosen for me to use numbing cream on him and ride him for as long as I pleased. He has altered his choice, however, and I am quite pleased with it. He has chosen to have me bring him to orgasm as many times as possible in a twenty-four hour period.

My best guess would be six orgasms, but honestly I have no idea how many he is capable of! I am already planning some chastity to begin after his birthday, lest he think that my spoiling him will continue.

I hope that twenty, thirty, even forty years from now we will still celebrate his birthday with such enthusiasm!

If One Sub Is Good...

2009-08-28T23:14:00.009-04:00

There have been times that I have contemplated what it would be like to have another submissive, in addition to j. At first, it was something that I fantasized about. If one submissive was good, two would be even better, right? But over time, it became a serious consideration. I got to know one submissive a couple of years ago. I found him delightful, as our D/s interests meshed well. I did fear the impact that it would have on my relationship with j, and despite j's reassurance that he was fine with it, I ended things with him.

My blog has been increasing in popularity, and as the hits have increased I have begun being propositioned for all sorts of 'encounters'. Truthfully, I would never be interested in being a ProDomme, only because I highly value the emotional interchange that occurs in D/s relationships and imagine that would be very sparse (if not non-existent) during a one-time session. On the other hand, I really adore submissive men. They intrigue me, and I enjoy interacting with them.

While I am not considering a physical relationship with another man at this point, I do like the idea of getting to know another submissive, and developing the interplay - that is, if I find a submissive whose needs match mine. From there, I don't know where things might lead.

I have discussed this with j, and he has encouraged me. I don't think that j is into cuckoldry, but rather he longs for me to be pleased to the greatest extent possible. And for right now, that pleasure involves getting to know another submissive man, whoever he might be.

Ultimately this whole desire probably stems from wanting to develop a closeness to others who understand the way that I feel and think. Those who won't consider my behavior 'bitchy' or bossy, but rather assertive and Dominant. Nonetheless, it shall be interesting to see what, if anything, develops.

On an unrelated side note, j and I have begun work on the podcast. Hopefully our first episode will be ready soon.

Stripping Away the Whips and Chains

2009-08-26T16:02:00.002-04:00

When people who are not part of the lifestyle envision a Dominant woman, they see a woman in black leather, boots, holding a whip and carrying a stern expression. They think Dominant women are manhaters, who are willing to abuse anything that has testicles attached to it. I think if more people were willing to look beyond the stereotypical whips and chains and consider the basis of the relationship they would see that it is one of the most perfect examples of a relationship centered on love and trust.

Consider most vanilla relationships: When hubby does something that upsets the wife, she bitches and whines about it. She behaves helplessly, expecting him to correct his behavior in order to shut her up. Sometimes this happens, but often it does not. Either way it creates resentment on both sides. The wife resents the husband because in order to get him to behave she has to whine and fuss. The husband resents the wife because he is a pawn in a game, trying to avoid or appease the unhappy wife. Neither spouse feels good about the other or the marriage.

Sadly, this dysfunctional behavior goes on for many years, at least until one party decides that enough is enough and moves on (usually to a new relationship that is just as dysfunctional as the first).

Why is it that women do not simply take control, and tell the men they are with their expectations? I posit that it is because women, even in today’s society, are viewed as the weaker sex. Even though most women now work outside the home (not to mention care for the children and the house) they are still not willing to stand up for themselves or their needs. They cater to the needs of their husbands and put their own feelings aside.

If more women were willing to simply follow the premise of a D/s relationship, sharing their wants and expectations and allowing their husbands to meet their needs, there would be far fewer unhappy couples. D/s is not about the spankings, handcuffs, or play; those are secondary. Primarily D/s is about allowing your partner to meet your needs and graciously accepting their love and devotion. Is that really such a difficult thing?

Looking for New D/s Friends

2009-08-25T17:24:00.004-04:00

Several months ago, while surfing Craigslist, I came across an ad from a Femdom couple who were looking to meet another Femdom couple. I was very excited, as they were located relatively close to us and enjoyed similar activities (both hobbies/likes as well as kinks). After emailing back and forth a few times, we chatted online. Shortly thereafter we met in person, for dinner and drinks. The meeting was a lot of fun, and once we all were comfortable with each other the conversation became quite revealing. It was so nice to be able to relax and be ourselves around others, especially knowing that they shared our desire for a female-led relationship.

We have continued getting to know them better over the past few months, but sadly they are struggling quite a bit in their relationship and lives and have decided to put aside their D/s interests until things settle down for them. While we are certainly still friends with them, I am sad that the sole couple that we are completely open with has put their common bond with us on hiatus. Which puts me on my current quest- to find another couple who shares our Femdom interests and lifestyle.

Before I met our friends I did not realize the value of bonding with a couple who shares similar passions. Now that their paths have diverged from ours, I am missing the familiarity and comradery.

Passionate Loving, In Small Amounts

2009-08-25T04:09:00.008-04:00

Our weekend was fairly busy. We took our children on a hike in the woods, and were met with a torrential downpour, soaking us by the time we made it to the car. Still, it was a nice trip- and I am certain the rain will make it memorable for many years to come. We had some errands to run, and things around the house to be taken care of. Still, we made time for D/s in bits and pieces here and there.

I went into our bedroom to work on my blog, and j sweetly followed me in. I have found that as he has become even more submissive he does not want to be away from my presence. Since he was with me, I instructed him to strip and lay beside me in bed. While I typed away on a blog entry, I had him stroke his cock. I paid him very little mind, but made sure that I took my time writing my post. As he stroked, I would occasionally lean over and run my finger over the tip of his cock so that it was covered in pre-cum. Each time I would then put my finger in his mouth and he would suck it off. j is very turned off by the idea of eating his cum, but I love teasing him by making him eat his pre-cum. It is yet another sign of the control I have over him.

It had been nearly a week since j was allowed release, and I was feeling incredibly aroused myself. I climbed on top of his cock and began riding him. I must admit, it felt spectacular! I had not allowed him to enter me for probably a month, and while I had achieved many orgasms in the interim, I had not had the feeling of his member in me.

As I have posted about before, j can climax very, very easily (and usually pretty quickly). Within a minute or so of me riding him (vigorously, I might add!) he was close. I pulled myself up, so that just the very tip of him remained inside of me. After a bit, I began again. I knew he would not be able to hold off much longer, and after his hard work this week I decided to reward him by allowing him to cum inside of me. It was no doubt something he cherished, as he thrashed around on the bed and grabbed me to hold me closer.

I was still quite aroused afterwards, and placed his hand on my wetness. he began rubbing me, playing with my clit, and making me even wetter. I delayed my orgasm for as long as I could- I wanted him to work for it! Finally, I allowed the feelings to culminate into a powerful climax.

Later on in the weekend I gave j the privilege of licking my womanhood. he devoured me like a hungry animal, licking away vigorously, and becoming drunk from my juices. he seemed quite honored to have been given that privilege.

Even though neither one of these encounters was a blatant representation of our D/s relationship (or our kink), they were both very fulfilling. And despite not having ample time alone, we made the most of the time we had. j's devotion to me, and the exhilaration that he shows when allowed to touch me, heightens my sexuality.

I hope he enjoyed our lovemaking, as I have other plans for him this week which I'm sure will not be nearly as pleasurable!

On Romance

2009-08-23T17:50:00.005-04:00

Ask fifty different people to define romance and you will surely get fifty different answers. Merriam-Webster defines the verb romance as "to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery". I'm not sure how much I like that definition, since I feel that romance should be used to express love, and not to try to influence someone's behavior.

This morning, j posted on his blog Serving My Mistress about romance (or the lack thereof) in our relationship. he is correct that I expect more from him in this area.

The truth is, I know j loves me deeply and passionately. I know our love transcends Dominance and submission. I don't need j to behave in a romantic manner in order to prove his love for me. But I expect that he will occasionally demonstrate his love in the form of a surprise date, thoughtful note or a small gift - without me explicitly asking him to do these things.

Don't get me wrong- j spoils me in many ways. he is always rubbing my back, running his fingers through my hair, and helping me in any way I request. I wish he would realize that romance need not be contrived or laborious. Simple expressions of love would go far!

Chastity- Device or Not?

2009-08-23T09:26:00.000-04:00

I own j's orgasms. They were a gift, given to me for my birthday several years ago. Definitely not your traditional birthday gift, but as I opened the jewelry box which contained the keys to a CB-3000 I was elated. While I had owned his orgasms since we entered into a D/s relationship, now I could know with complete certainty that he would not receive pleasure unless I granted it to him.

For a while I relied on his CB device to ensure that he was not pleasuring himself. But over time, as I grew into my Dominance and he submitted to me more, I realized that the CB device was not necessary. j knows he cannot touch himself without permission, and he does not want to disappoint me. I trust wholeheartedly that he would not disobey me. But that is not to say that we have put the CB-3000 away!

I still use the CB-3000 with j as a punishment or a reminder of his submissiveness when he gets a little cocky (pardon the pun!). I enjoy locking him into the device, partly because it increases his desperation. he does not enjoy being locked up and finds it to be a bit uncomfortable, all the more reason to use it as a punishment.

I view chastity devices the same way I view using handcuffs, or rope. Sure, I could place j in the position that I want him in and order him not to move. But the handcuffs/rope are a more intense reminder- and he looks sexy as hell in them! And it is nice to know that, were j to ever consider disobeying, he would not have the option.

Leaving My Mark On him

2009-08-21T01:18:00.002-04:00

At the height of a powerful orgasm, it is not unusual for me to bite or scratch j. I am rarely aware that I am doing it until his yelps of pain bring me back from a screaming and moaning high to reality. Since delving into D/s and exploring the infliction of a bit of pain to heighten sexuality, I have noticed I feel more free during sex. Instead of being careful and restraining myself a bit when I climax, I freely allow my body to respond naturally and embrace the passion that I am feeling.

Scratching and biting during sex seems rather primal, something that animals do as part of their mating ritual. It is a female subconsciously (or consciously) marking her territory, her lust and passion leaving a physical reminder on her man. The Kama Sutra considers scratching during sex an art form, and views the marks left as 'souvenirs' of intense passion.

I enjoy seeing the marks I leave on j. They remind me of the power and control I have over his body. Just as his collar is a representation of his submission to me, so too are the marks I have inflicted.

Introducing Female Domination to the Vanilla Partner

2009-08-19T19:13:00.003-04:00

Over the past few days I have been looking at quite a few Femdom blogs and websites. There are many themes that seem to repeat themselves over and over- the ebb and flow of D/s relationships, chastity, punishments... but something that came up surprisingly often was submissive men who were trying to introduce D/s to their wife and make their marriage a Female led one.

In our marriage, the transition came about rather smoothly. Actually, j confessing that he wanted me to take control came as a relief to me. I had struggled for a long time feeling like he was not interested in me sexually since he would never initiate sex. I have always been open-minded, and embraced the idea of a Female-led marriage wholeheartedly.

If approached in the right way, I think most women would be receptive to a Female-led marriage (or relationship). If approached, the wrong way, both parties could feel alienated and it can bring about a huge rift in the relationship. For instance, in our vanilla days had my husband said to me, "Sweetheart- I want you to tie me up, spank me and then do me with a strap-on!" I would have been appalled. Even though that sounds like an exciting evening now- at that point in my life the idea would have been seemed far too much for me to take.

So what IS the right way to approach a woman about your needs? I think there is a nice, gentle progression and if followed correctly I believe most women would be receptive to this type of relationship.

• Take some responsibilities off your wife's shoulders. Do the laundry, make dinner, pick up after yourself so that she doesn't have to, do the dishes. When your wife notices and asks why you are doing these things, do NOT say, "Because I want to be your little French maid, taking care of all your needs." DO say, "Because I love you and see how much you do for me. I want you to have time to relax and enjoy yourself.

• Now that you have taken more responsibility around the house, start doing thoughtful, caring things for your wife. Bring her a glass of wine in the evening, get her small gifts (a rose, a copy of a new book from her favorite author), get her a card and write in it how much you love her. When she asks why you are giving her so much attention, do NOT say , "I am giving you lots of attention because I want to do everything for you. I want to be your pet, your footstool, your chauffer, your pedicurist." DO say, "I care about you and want to make you happy. I love nothing more than seeing you smile."

By doing these first few things for a period of time (a month or so), you have given your wife a sense of Dominance. She has learned to expect you to meet some of her needs, and she is surely appreciating all of the extra help you are giving her.

• Begin focussing on her needs in the bedroom. Massage her, rub her back, play with her hair, and give her plenty of physical affection. When you are intimate, focus only on her orgasm. Allow her to lay back and relax as you lick her body and taste her. Enjoy her and luxuriate in the woman that she is. If she wants to make love to you and you get to have an orgasm, great. If not, hold her and rub her back as she drifts off to sleep. She will likely ask why you are not worried about your own orgasm. Do NOT say, "You are my Goddess and for you I will lock my cock up for the next year and never touch it again." DO say, "I love your body so much and you deserve all the pleasure that I can give you. My needs are secondary to yours."

By now she likely has some idea the direction that you are going with things, and quite frankly- at this point you ARE in a Female-led marriage (even if you haven't yet discussed it).

• Now is the time to sit down and share your feelings with your wife. Tell her how much you have enjoyed meeting some of her needs, and that you wish you had done those things for her all along. Explain to her how much you love her, and tell her that you want to serve her. Explain to her what you want, but not in D/s terms. Do NOT use the words D/s, BDSM, Dominance, Mistress, whip, beating, etc. Do tell her that you want her to have the control in the marriage, and that if you fail to meet her needs you want her to hold you accountable.

The basic idea is that a marriage cannot go from vanilla one day to D/s the next, even in the best of circumstances. Springing your list of personal kinks on your wife is going to get you nothing, and frankly is not behavior that is appropriate of any submissive. Allowing your relationship to progress slowly towards a FemDom marriage is the best bet.

The statements that I have come up with to share with your wife/partner are not meant to be used word for word, as it is important for you to speak from your heart. The point I am trying to make is that introducing your wife into the D/s world should be a gentle, loving expression of your submission to Her and desire to meet Her needs, not an expectation that she will instantly embrace your kink.

A Little CBT Fun

2009-08-18T14:55:00.004-04:00

Last night I decided to have some CBT fun. It had been a while since I had been able to tease and torture j's cock and balls. I had told j to stroke his cock several times during the day at work, but not have an orgasm. I knew that this would greatly heighten his desire and sensitivity.

When we got in bed, I began kissing him, rubbing my body up against him. Within moments he was hard, and I smacked his balls with some force. he jumped, but then went back to moaning as I stroked his cock a bit. I alternated between smacking his balls and stroking him, and then went to our toy cabinet and retrieved a handful of clothespins, his cock ring and my rubber whip. I had him put his cock ring on (which was quite a feat, considering his cock and balls were already quite engorged.

Once his cock ring was on, I swatted his cock, balls and thighs several times with the rubber whip. The whip looks quite menacing, but produces a mild to moderate sting. That sensation, though, is most definitely heightened on his swollen and sensitive cock and balls! he squirmed about on the bed, moaning from the sensations I was giving him.

Again I stroked his cock and rubbed his balls. his cock felt harder than ever before. I told him that I wanted to allow him some pleasure as a reward for his hard work lately, but that I needed to give him some more pain first. I took the clothespins and put them on his scrotum. After I put them on, I wiggled them around a bit, pulling them and moving them about. I swatted him several more times with the rubber whip, and then began to stroke his cock. he was desperate for an orgasm, and I graciously allowed him one. his cum shot all over my hand and his stomach.

While I enjoy extended periods of orgasmic denial for j from time to time, I also like giving him orgasms. I like having the complete control of his body- making him earn the orgasm by pleasing me. When he finally earns it, I make sure he enjoys it, but only on my terms!

Video of Anorgasmic Ejaculation

2009-08-17T18:19:00.004-04:00

j has been ordered several times over the past few weeks to masturbate for me while he is at work, bringing his body close to the point of orgasm. I enjoy knowing that he is stroking himself, thinking about my body and submitting to me. I also like that it keeps him very aroused and ready to submit, eager to try and earn my touch.

Recently I posted about anorgasmic ejaculation, where the male is brought to the point of orgasm and ejaculates but does not have an orgasm. For the most part, his erection remains, and his level of desire is heightened even more. There is no feeling of release, but rather a feeling of increased frustration.

j has been sending me videos to prove that he is following my direction. I do not require this of him, but he enjoys making them for me, and I enjoy watching him obey me from afar. Today's video is an example of anorgasmic ejaculation. At the end of the video, you will hear him whisper, "That's two." It was his second time completing that task for me today. What a good boy he is!

he May Be Little, but I Love him

2009-08-17T10:40:00.004-04:00

I regrouped after I posted my message yesterday, and today I am feeling much better. I am happy to say that I woke up this morning feeling recharged, happy, and most importantly- Dominant! (insert sexy growl here!!) I spent some time catching up on all the great blogs I follow. Reading them always fills me with ideas of things to try with j.

A few days ago I was writing about our evening the night before, retelling how I used a double-ended dildo in both j and myself. It was a particularly intense night for both of us, and when recounting it I forgot something that was quite significant. During the height of passion I had teased j quite intensely about how the double-ended dildo gave me a nice, long cock to fill myself with, rather than his little one. While j has never been much for humiliation, my teasing and taunting him really sent us both over the edge.

j came home to join me for lunch today, and I sent him back to work with a little assignment. He is to masturbate almost to the point of orgasm three times this afternoon. That should leave his balls aching by the time he gets home. I have a little cock and ball torture planned for tonight, and will be taking pictures to post for all to see. Maybe the weekend was a bust, but Monday night is shaping up to be terrific!

Bummer Weekend

2009-08-16T11:47:00.002-04:00

Our weekend has not gone as planned, and I am feeling pretty disappointed. I had hoped for a weekend of playing, lots of sex and just some much-needed D/s time. Unfortunately, my body did not cooperate. My period started, leaving me feeling not at all sexual. Right now I'm feeling pretty miserable.

After realizing my needs and plans for the weekend were not going to be met, I went into salvage mode and started catering to j's needs. he had been mentioning recently that he wanted to watch more movies (something I am not usually in the mood to do), so we went out and rented a couple of movies. They were actually pretty enjoyable, but I couldn't help but think this is not what I wanted, not how I planned things.

I tried, up until this morning, to salvage things as much as possible. j remained in his collar and my panties, and he gave me a foot massage and pedicure, both of which were very nice. I know he felt disappointed by the weekend as well.

This morning I fell apart, crying and telling j that the weekend had been a waste. It had- but not just because there was no sex. Just as there is a subspace, I think there is a 'Dommespace' too. I am there most of the time- I truly enjoy controlling j, having him submit to my needs and desires, taking him and using him sexually. But every now and then I come plummeting out of 'Dommespace,' and that is where I am right now. Sitting in bed, feeling sad and sorry for myself, and wishing j would realize that sometimes I just need to be held and have someone tell me they understand how I am feeling.

Weekend Plans

2009-08-14T10:04:00.002-04:00

I am looking forward to an exciting weekend with j! My daughter will be spending the weekend with my sister, which means we will be unrestricted in our D/s activities for 48 hours! (Those of you with small children will understand my enthusiasm)

Tonight will be dinner out, and while I was hoping to get together with our D/s friends, it doesn't look like that is going to happen. So it will be just us, which is probably better anyway. There is a lot going on in our lives, and our time alone is so limited that I really do cherish it.

This weekend will be about j meeting my needs. he will spend the weekend clad only in my panties, his collar and anklets. During this time he will give me a much-needed pedicure, clean the house, and of course serve me sexually. I am sure there will be no lack of things to post about!

I decided last night that, since I had allowed j the privilege of orgasm the night before, I needed to heighten his level of arousal. After we retired to the bedroom, I instructed him to stroke his cock. he did this for quite some time, while I did some work on the computer. For the most part I ignored him, glancing at him occasionally and listening to his ragged breathing. At one point I told him to stroke it faster, and he did- his hand going up and down his cock with furious speed. Once I was confident that he was sufficiently aroused, we went to sleep. (While I enjoy keeping j aroused by masturbation on a regular basis, I must give credit to subservient husband for mentioning this in one of his comments. his Wife requires this of him on a daily basis- something that would have j climbing the walls, begging for release for sure!)

Time for a nice, long bath. It will give me time to consider all that I have planned for j!

An Intense Evening

2009-08-13T08:48:00.014-04:00

j has been spending a lot of time at work lately, and conversely I have a couple of weeks off. Due to his extended time at work, I have cut him some slack in his household responsibilities and have been doing many of them myself. But, as men tend to do, j has taken advantage of this situation a bit! I knew a punishment for j was in order.

Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time reading Femdom blogs, and was feeling very aroused. I texted j at work telling him that I wanted him to masturbate until he was right at the point of climax, and then stop. A bit later I received an email from him, with a video of him masturbating at work. It was very hot- and I got wet listening to his breathing and light moans as he stroked his cock, and then watching him stop- unsatisfied.

The evening was fairly uneventful, and I was considering just going to sleep. As I climbed in to bed, I thought about why I was so tired: I had spent a good part of the day doing his chores around the house. The anger began to build in me and I knew I had to punish him immediately. he was laying on his back, naked, and I climbed on top of him, straddling him. I kissed him several times, rubbing my pussy against his cock. After my juices were flowing, I got off of him and instructed him to get on his hands and knees on the bed.

I went to our toy cabinet and retrieved my crop, as well as my double-ended dildo and some lube. I asked j if he had been attentive to my needs and he admitted that he had not. I began slapping his ass with the crop- harder than I usually do. Within seconds his ass was glowing red. I continued to beat his ass, feeling my wetness increase as his ass reddened. While j has learned to tolerate a fair amount of pain, several slaps had him gasping.

When I was done punishing him, I told him to lay down on his back. I got between his legs and began fingering his ass, rubbing his prostate with my finger. I asked him how he felt, and he said he felt like my puppet, completely in my control. It was a good answer! As I continued rubbing his prostate, his cock began to leak a bit. I took my finger and rubbed the fluid over the head of his cock, causing him to moan loudly. We hadn't had a lot of anal play recently, so I contemplated not using the dildo on him, but decided that he would just have to deal with it! With a bit of effort, his ass accepted the double-ended dildo, and I began pumping it in and out of him.

I inserted the other end of it into my now very wet pussy, thrusting my hips and pushing our bodies together. He held tight to my legs, and my thrusts pushed the dildo farther into both his ass and my pussy. It didn't take long for me to have a very loud, intense orgasm. j was moving his body about, trying to get some sensation from his cock, and I grabbed the part of the dildo that was between our bodies. With my hand on it, I had greater control, and I used it to fuck him hard (as I continued to fuck myself with it). After another orgasm, I was took the dildo out of my pussy, but left it in his ass. I continued to fuck him with it, harder still, his moans exciting and encouraging me.

j began to beg me to let him cum. his begging turns me on quite a bit, but is something he usually does not do unless I tell him to. At this point he was so desperate that I think he got over his distaste of begging! His entire body began to shake, and I decided to tease him even more. As I continued to pound his ass with the dildo, I stroked his cock- I would stroke it for about two seconds and then stop for a bit, then start again for a couple seconds, continuing this pattern until I was sure he could not take much more. I decided to let him cum- not for his pleasure but for mine. I enjoy watching him cum, especially after anal play since it is so powerful and copious. he came with great force, thrusting his entire body and spasming and moaning in pleasure.

After we both came down for our orgasmic and D/s highs, we spent some time in bed holding each other and talking. Even after his great orgasm he remained aroused, as did I. he promised me he would be more attentive, and I believe he will, as I am sure he is not looking forward to another cropping!

For those of you wanting a male perspective of this night, my sub posted his report of our evening on his blog, Serving My Mistress.

Prostate Stimulation & Milking

2009-08-12T12:37:00.009-04:00

In our early D/s days, I wanted j to learn to appreciate and crave anal stimulation. I purchased him a prostate stimulator, namely the Aneros. The idea behind the Aneros is that the man can stimulate his prostate himself, by inserting the Aneros and rhythmically contracting the pelvic muscles. The contractions force the Aneros to apply pressure directly on the prostate. The device itself is relatively small, about the size of a finger and once inserted it stays in place.

I have milked j with the Aneros and also with my finger(s). Both are equally effective. At one point I had j in his chastity device for an extended period of time as a punishment for masturbation. Milking him drained him of his seminal fluid while not giving him (much) pleasure. This is important to do with some regularity during extended periods of chastity to maintain prostate health. While prostate stimulation is often used to make a man dry without giving him the pleasure of an orgasm, it can also be used to intensify the orgasm.

Prostate stimulation and milking is a big turn-on of mine. I love pushing j's button, literally, and watching as he tries in desperation to stimulate his cock in some way. Most times when I milk him, I have him tied up or at least cuffed, so he is completely vulnerable. he often bucks his hips up and down repeatedly, trying to get his cock to tap against his abdomen and give him some sort of sensation.

The Aneros is something we revisit from time to time, and I am always thrilled with the results!

Proper Training of Men, Submissive or Not

2009-08-11T17:31:00.007-04:00

A lot of my 'vanilla' friends ask me why it is that j treats me so well, and how they can find a man who will treat them that way. Even though few of them know the nature of our relationship, I tell them that it is important to train your man so that he knows how to meet your needs. I believe that most men truly want to please their lover, but they simply do not know how.

Even though j is very attentive, I have needed to train him in many areas. The first time he gave me a pedicure it was a mess! There was fingernail polish all over my toes and he hurt me several times in the process. Did I give up on the idea of him doing my nails? Nope! I instructed him to look online and read up on how to give a proper pedicure. I also asked him to go out and purchase the necessary implements. The next time he gave me a pedicure, it was much better! Now, he can do it as well as any professional. So, Women of the world, do not give up on your men! Take the time to teach them how to please you and you will reap the rewards!

Anorgasmic Ejaculation

2009-08-11T13:45:00.003-04:00

Anorgasmic ejaculation... the name sounds pretty clinical, but even less clinical than the other name for it, ejaculatory anhedonia. Basically, anorgasmic ejaculation is ejaculating without any feelings of release or pleasure. This is something that I discovered when playing with j a few months ago. I love teasing him, taking him right to the brink of orgasm, then waiting for him to calm down a bit before doing it again. Occasionally, when I do this with him, he will ejaculate without orgasm.

The whole thing is rather anti-climactic (pardon the pun!), with the semen leaking out of his penis with very little force. While it generally is the same amount of semen as when he has an orgasm, it takes at least thirty seconds to slowly leak out. j maintains an erection even after the ejaculation, and is left drained but without release.

The first time this happened, I was quite unhappy with j. I had not given him permission for release, and felt angry that he could not control his body. After reading more about anorgasmic ejaculation, it has become a goal of mine. I enjoy watching him cum, but I feel that an orgasm should be a rare treat for him. Now I can have my cake and eat it too!

Which brings me to Sunday morning... j and I were snuggling in bed, enjoying each other's bodies. I instructed him to go get me some rope. I laid him on his back and wrapped the rope several times around his scrotum and penis, pulling it taut, and then several more times around his penis alone, tying it off at the top. I teased him quite a bit this way, slapping his balls- occasionally quite hard. I rubbed the head of his penis, and alternated between using a vibrator on myself and touching it to his cock. It seemed that each time I allowed him a bit of stimulation he made it to the brink of orgasm in just a few seconds. After playing for a while in this way (and having a couple great orgasms myself), he ejaculated without orgasm. It was rather erotic, watching the cum drain from his penis, yet his body felt no release.

A final note- when I allow j to have an orgasm, he almost immediately becomes less attentive to my needs. When he ejaculates without orgasm, he is even more attentive. It seems it is the ultimate tease and denial- so close that his biological functions took over, with no pleasure for him!

Silky and Sexy

2009-08-07T09:46:00.006-04:00

Ever since one of j's transgressions several months ago, he has been wearing my panties each day. Initially this punishment was to last a month, but I decided that I like it so much, it is here to stay. he also washes my panties by hand, usually a few times a week. Initially he was rather slack about this, but now has become quite the little panty-washer! I may never go back to using the washing machine for my delicates again!

During the time our daughter was away at camp, j came home each day, removed all of his clothes (except for his panties), and put on his training collar. It pleased me that he did this without any prompting from me. his anklets arrived early this week, and the combination of anklets, panties and a collar was almost too much for me to take. I could barely keep my hands off of him.

We had played around with forced feminization in the past, but it seemed like it did not do much for either one of us. The idea has become more appealing to me recently, and I credit at least some of that with our friends Domina and anthony. Reading their ventures into feminization really piqued my interest. This is yet another area where we are learning and growing deeper in our Dominance and submission.

I keep the house rather cool, and j told me he was feeling cold and asked if he could put on a shirt. I told him I would get him something. I laughed to myself as I went down the hall to our bedroom. I was going to get him something to wear, but he wasn't going to like it! I found a silky gold pajama top and handed it to him. To my surprise, j happily put it on, and looked really good in it. The combination of the collar, anklets and silky top and panties was just.... hot! I was surprised the next night when he asked if he could wear it again. Of course I allowed it.

It's nice that we are both learning and becoming even more comfortable in our roles. There is nothing better than exploring desires and sexuality with a loving partner.

Third Time's the Charm

2009-08-04T08:53:00.003-04:00

While for the most part our sex life is disaster-free, every once in a while something happens and leaves me feeling less than satisfied. This time it was actually rather humorous (at least after the fact), and once all problems were resolved was amazing.

I had purchased the Rimba, as well as the Electro Penis Strap to use on j. The first time I used it on him I was just excited to see what would happen. I dragged him in to the bedroom, had him put the Penis Strap on, and hooked him up to the Rimba. At this point I felt it was best to let him play with the controls and get accustomed to the feeling. He played for a while, but struggled with positioning the straps correctly. He was not maintaining an erection, and the strap kept sliding up. Realizing it was probably just a lack of foreplay, and giving him control of the device, I called the experiment off and told him we would play with it another night. (Strike one)

Sunday night I decided to try it again. This time I was going to be in charge of the controls. I instructed him to put the Penis Strap on, and began to turn up the controls. Almost immediately he began moaning, and I reached over to caress his thighs, brushing up against his balls. When I pulled my hand away, it felt funny. I looked down and there was blood on my hand. After turning off the device, I found that he had scraped his scrotum when he was putting the device on, and the pressure caused had him bleeding. After realizing he was fine and calming down, it was actually kind of funny. Unfortunately, it was not very conducive to maintaining an intimate night. But somehow I overcame those feelings, and had him licking my pussy, bringing me to a mind-blowing orgasm. It was the best one I have had in quite some time, with me screaming so loud that now, two days later, my throat is still a bit sore!

Last night I was determined we were going to make the Rimba work. After getting him the penis strap on him (and ensuring he was not bleeding this time : ) I began turning up the strength. Initially his moans were soft, but as I turned up the power higher his moans became greater and his entire body tensed. he reached back and grabbed on to the headboard of the bed, his hands grabbing so tightly that his knuckles were white. This went on for quite a while- I would turn up the Rimba until he was in pain, and then back it off just slightly to where it was bringing him strong, pleasurable sensations. Every few minutes I would back the intensity off, then heighten it again.

I had determined in advance that I would let him have an orgasm, but only if he could reach it completely hands-free. I was not sure if he was going to be able to do it. I decided to try and push up the intensity a bit, very slowly taking him beyond the threshold between pleasure and pain. Ever so slightly I turned the Rimba up. At this point the muscles in his legs were contracting and his moans were very loud. After a few minutes at this very high intensity his moans turned into screams, and he was finally met with the release he desired.

It was one of the most intense D/s moments we have ever had. The power and control I had in my hand with the Rimba was wonderfully exhilarating, and I loved watching his entire body affected by the sensations he was feelings. The Rimba will definitely be a regular plaything for us!

Time For Us

2009-08-02T21:00:00.002-04:00

It is not very often that j and I have time completely alone. We do quite well considering that our only time for intimacy is late at night, after our daughter is in bed. Since our time alone is so limited, I really appreciate any time like this that we get. Our daughter left today for camp. For the next four nights there will be no knocks on the door, no one asking for dessert, to help put up their hair, or lunches to pack. It was sad to see her go, and I got a little weepy as we left, but damn- I am SO ready to have my wonderfully submissive man all to myself!

I hope that in the time we have alone we will be able to reignite the D/s sparks. Maintaining a D/s relationship is tough at times, and like all relationships it requires work. I remember when j and I first started to incorporate D/s into our marriage. Initially it was just something that we did in the bedroom. It was fun, exciting, and like getting a new toy! But for me, it was never enough for it just to be a sexual thing. Right away I knew that I wanted it to be 24/7. I wanted to be j's Domme all the time, in the bedroom or not. I know a relationship like this is not for everyone, but for us it is very comfortable and natural.

I look forward to a week of love, romance, bondage, discipline, sensuality, orgasms, and lots and lots of sex. I am grateful that I have a wonderful partner with which to share this time.

It's Shocking!

2009-07-30T17:46:00.002-04:00

When j and I recently went over our list of D/s interests, one of the interests he expressed was electrical stimulation. he had mentioned it in the past, but we had never done anything about it. Being unfamiliar with e-stim, I took to the internet. Unlike some of the areas of D/s, there was not a whole lot out there about electrical stimulation, but what I did find intrigued me and I decided to add it to our D/s repertoire.

Today I received a packing containing (amongst other things) a Rimba electrical stimulation device. I decided I would use it on myself before using it on j. As much as possible I try and do this, since I think it is important for a Domme to be aware of the sensations she is producing/inflicting. The Rimba itself is very plain looking. It's pretty much just a black box with some knobs on it. It came with some clamps as well as electrode pads. In addition to the Rimba TENS unit, I had ordered some electrode conductive gel as well as a Dual Contact Electro Penis Strap (now doesn't that sound intimidating?!).

The directions that came with it not very helpful, but the Rimba website online had some pretty good information. I must admit I was pretty nervous, and I decided that for safety's sake I would try it on my leg first. I put two of the pads on my lower leg. Slowly I began to turn up the intensity. Initially I felt.... nothing. But as I got the intensity higher I felt a gentle tingling. As I turned the knob even higher, the sensation became stronger and went from tingling to a tapping sensation. Oddly, it does not feel that the sensation is coming from the skin but rather from deeper within the body. It is tough to describe! It does not feel in the least bit electrical. There is no shock sensation, or zapping, or anything like that.

Since the experiment on my leg went well, I decided to try it in a more intimate area. I really wasn't prepared for this! Had I known it was going to feel so good I probably would have gotten the electro dildo (which also sounds terrifying). I knew I couldn't put the pad on my clit as it is important for the pad to have complete contact or zapping sensations can occur, and I certainly do not want my clit to be zapped!! I put one pad on each side of my labia, touching the base of my clit at the bottom. I started the Rimba up, and at a much lower intensity than on my leg I could feel the pulsing sensations. It is so hard to describe how it feels, except to say that I immediately became very wet. I played with the settings on the Rimba unit, and the sensations changed significantly. At one point I went to turn it down and accidently turned it in the opposite direction. I nearly jumped off the bed!

After playing with the Rimba for a while, I was so aroused. It was slightly frustrating as the stimulation could take me right to the edge of an orgasm, but not quite there completely. Nonetheless, a few taps on my clit and I was over the edge, moaning and writhing on the bed.

I cannot wait to use the Rimba on j and watch his reaction to it. For anyone who has not yet tried electrical stimulation, it is definitely worth it!

Scent Of A Woman

2009-07-21T16:05:00.002-04:00

Sometimes when I am teasing j I like to restrain him, put a blindfold on him and put earplugs in his ears. Cutting off some of his senses seems to intensify his other senses, specifically touch. When I first started doing this, my thoughts were to intensify the teasing I was giving him, taking him close to orgasm and then denying him. I have also toyed with hot and cold this way and get very strong reactions from him. Oddly enough, I had never considered appealing to his sense of smell, either when he was restrained like this or in normal, day to day life.

I have never been much of a perfume wearer. I put some on from time to time, when we go out for the evening or a special occasion, but not a day to day thing. But I am wondering if I should change that. The interesting thing about scent is that it lingers and affects all around it. I am not talking about bathing in perfume and reeking, but rather the soft scent that follows a woman wearing a particularly nice perfume. In this way, I could be touching j even when I was not in direct contact with him.

I wonder why I haven't thought of this sooner, since scents affect me strongly. I love pulling out our leather items and pressing them to my nose, deeply inhaling the scent that I associate both with looking sexy and our D/s love.

Setting Goals & Thoughts On Switching Roles

2009-07-19T16:46:00.005-04:00

There are a lot of changes going on in our lives. It does seem, however, that a good amount of our time has been freed up. In fact, we have spent the past couple of weekends doing... nothing. Sure, we did some shopping, and had dinner with my sister and her family, but overall the time has been spent sitting around the house like vegetables. So, it is time to regroup.

I have decided to set a few goals for myself, kind of like mid-year resolutions if you will. I have the standard goals: lose weight, exercise more, save more money... then I have some non-traditional goals: make more private time for j and I, enjoy my sexuality more, be more open, and finally, blog more.

I get this feeling from time to time, a feeling of wanting to clean things up in my life. Change the things I do not like, make the things I do like even better. It feels good, it feels refreshing, it feels invigorating.

Seems that I am not the only one looking for a change... Domina and anthony (from The Path Least Chosen) are seeking to switch roles, at least temporarily. Domina wrote a very heartfelt post regarding this, and I can understand where she is coming from. It is hard to be always on, always in control. At times it even feels monotonous. Around here, I struggle with having to make all of the decisions. j cannot make even minor decisions on his own and always comes to me to choose. 95 percent of the time I am fine with it, but it does get old.

Sexually though, I would have a difficult time being submissive. I am not sure if that is because of my partner or just who I am. Imagining j being dominant in the bedroom is almost laughable. He is not a wimpy man or anything like that, he is just extremely careful about approaching me sexually. I could never see him just having his way with me. About a year ago I gave him the opportunity to try. Like Domina, I just wanted to be taken. It didn't happen. In fact, nothing happened. After reading Domina's post this morning, I asked him about that time. He said that he just did not feel comfortable taking control in the bedroom, and he would never be able to dominate me there or even outside of the bedroom. And, after he read Domina's post later, he looked over and said that he is afraid of what I would do to him if he ever dared slap me in the face (as well he should be!!!)

Do I understand the desire to switch, to change things up from time to time? Sure! Is it for me? Nope. Just like urethral sounds aren't for my wonderful friends Domina and anthony. I guess that is the great thing about Dominance and submission... it is what you make of it, and as long as no one gets hurt, it's all good!

Would A Stranger Ever Guess?

2009-07-07T21:00:00.003-04:00

j and I frequently remark about people we encounter who seem to have very Dominant or submissive personalities. It was something we really never noticed until we started delving into the lifestyle ourselves, but ever since it seems that some people stick out like sore thumbs. I was wondering today, would an outsider guess our 'secret?'

If a stranger were to meet us separately, the answer would be a resounding no! Aside from the fact that my clothes are mostly black, and I am usually wearing heels of some sort, there would be very little clue. I tend to be a little introverted when dealing with strangers. I am observant, and I like to read people. I do not think I come across as an overly Dominant woman....until people get to know me! People who know me well see that side of me that likes to be in control of every situation, and whose eyes flash with anger when I am crossed.

As for j, he is the opposite. His personality is affable and light, warm and personable. He is the life of the party, and I swear he has never met a stranger that he did not like! And truly, that is the way he is with both new friends and old. He does not give off even a hint of subservience. He is a natural leader!

But when we are together... the interplay between my Dominance and his submission is quite obvious. For two people who are 'in the closet' so to speak, we do not hide the nature of our relationship. He refers to me as his queen, his beauty, he waits on me hand and foot. He rubs my back, opens the car door for me, and submits to me in any way I desire. He asks me before he spends money, and when making any decisions, he tells others that he has to ask 'the boss' first. I expect these acts of obedience from him. When he slacks off (and he does from time to time), I am right there, reinforcing my Dominance over him. A new development...if he does something wrong, he comes to me and asks me to slap his face. It started out as a joke, but has become a meaningful, if brief, punishment for his errors. It is more about the act than any pain, as I am careful to never smack him too hard....okay, mostly. ;)

It is an interesting dichotomy: apart, few would suspect my Dominance or j's submission, but together some degree of the nature of our relationship is apparent. I know my control and dominance makes j the loving submissive that he is, and he makes me the Dominant queen that I am!

Steamy Dreams

2009-07-06T17:58:00.003-04:00

I have always had very vivid dreams, and the past few nights my dreams have focused almost entirely on D/s activities. Most of my dreams have focused on things that j and I have done before, but I must admit there were a few surprises. I do not know how much dreams indicate real desires, but if that is the case, my subconscious is sending me a flurry of messages. Some of these dreams have focused on more of a small group experience... watching another Dominant woman with her sub, feeling aroused beyond belief just by watching their interchange. That particular dream was nothing short of heady, an almost intoxicating experience (if a dream could be described like that). I woke up on the edge of orgasm, and quickly closed my eyes, hoping my dream would still be there.

Another dream involved j, being naked and bound before me, his body quivering in anticipation. My fingers lightly traced across his body, and I smiled, enjoying the musculature of his back as he strained against his bonds. I spoke to him softly but firmly, telling him that he would be mine forever. I wore a strap-on cock, and pulled his head up by his hair, telling him to suck my cock. He sucked me as if he was starving and my cock was the last food on earth, and as he did, I pushed my hips forward so that the strap-on rubbed against my clit. Then (and remember, this is a dream here!), from out of nowhere he was attached to a fucking machine. His ass was being fucked as he sucked my cock. If he leaned forward, more of my cock went in his mouth. If he leaned backwards, more of the cock went in his ass. His rock hard erection showed me that he was enjoying himself as much as I was. I bucked against him, forcing more of the cock in him, until I came. j, on the other hand, was not allowed to cum, and his desire was so great that he was literally screaming from want.

These are but two examples of these intense dreams. I do not know where they are coming from, but they are welcome to stay as they are giving me plenty of ideas!

Shopping Fun!

2009-07-06T14:38:00.002-04:00

Today has been an unplanned day at home for me. My daughter was sick over the weekend, and while she is doing better today, she is not quite well enough for camp. It seems that free time gets my mind wandering to all things sexual! Well, that and my dreams of late. Seems the D/s has entered into the dream realm, waking me up wet and wanting (pardon the alliteration).

For a while I contemplated how to spend the day. Truthfully, I should have done some cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. But shopping for some bondage equipment, toys and lingerie sounded far more exciting!

My followers may remember that my favorite store has closed down. It was really heartbreaking since it seemed to be the best store on the east coast that catered to D/s fun. Still, online shopping has its perks. I can sit in my pajamas and fantasize while I shop. Both Stockroom and Extreme Restraints have added quite a selection in recent months. I have several items in mind, but do not want to post here because I like to surprise j. Needless to say, we will be trying a few new things soon!

Reflections

2009-07-01T19:40:00.005-04:00

Some time ago j posted in his blog about housework as a gift. At the time, I probably did not give his post the attention and reflection that it deserved. The truth is, j does a lot for me, both around the house and in general. Yes, he is my sub, and as such there are things that I require of him, but even before we were into D/s, he was very attentive.

j is a fantastic father, treating all of our children (including my three from a previous marriage) as his own. he cares deeply for them, and though he sometimes becomes frustrated with them, he is supportive and always willing to go the extra mile for them. he takes our daughter to girl scouts and gymnastics whenever I ask him to (and often times without me asking).

j does the laundry, including washing my panties by hand. This task had been part of a punishment that was given to him but he loves doing it and I love watching him wash my panties with such care. he makes dinner, does the dishes, takes out the garbage... most of these things he does without me ever mentioning them.

j does so many things for me, but where he really shines is in the bedroom. he becomes so aroused simply by pleasing me, hearing me moan and orgasm. he is always ready and willing for me to take him to new heights in submission, and accepts that I will always keep his safety and best interests in mind.

The truth is, that just as I did not give his post on housework as a gift the attention it deserved, sometimes I do not give j the attention that he deserves. I am blessed beyond compare, not just with an incredible submissive but with an incredible man.

I am not perfect, and sometimes I am downright irritating. But never, ever has j made me feel bad about myself, my moods or who I am. Tonight I am thankful for what God has given me. Tomorrow he goes back to being my sexy little bitch!

Bound for My Pleasure

2009-06-21T07:58:00.003-04:00

I have been feeling turned on lately, and my preoccupation with my sexy sub has been running rampant. Since we have children, time for extended sexual play is almost exclusively late in the evening. Yesterday was no exception, however throughout the day I had managed to tease him for a few minutes here and there. He has been wearing my panties for quite some time now, and when he arrived home for an outing yesterday I had a pair of pantyhose waiting for him. He put them on under his jeans and commented later that they served as an excellent almost constant reminder of me.

As we retired to bed last night, my plans for an erotic evening came together. I instructed j to remove all of his clothing and lay down on the bed. As he did, I retrieved rope and scissors. I had him lay flat on his back with his legs together. I wrapped the rope several times around his ankles and then between his feet several times before tying it off. Then I took another length of rope and encircled his cock and balls several times, pulling it very tight. This rope I then attached to the rope between his ankles, pulling until his ankles were pulled up near his body and his cock and balls had a constant feeling of being tugged. Finally I had him put his wrists together on his belly and tied them up in a manner similar to his ankles. I tied his secured wrists to his ankles. Satisfied that he was not going anywhere, and enjoying both my beautiful bondage and his erection, I moved on.

I attached a clothespin to each nipple, taunting and teasing him as I did. Then I attached four clothespins to his scrotum, giving each a tug so that I could hear him moan. (As a side note, one of my favorite parts of tying up his nether regions is the extra sensitivity it brings. He was intensely aroused despite the pain.) I teased him for a few minutes, lightly stroking his cock and running my fingers over his body. At some point I took pity on him and removed the clothespins from his nipples, but the ones on his scrotum remained. I took several pictures of j like this, which he may share on his blog. He began to moan from the pain being caused by the clothespins, so I removed them as well, but not before giving each one a quick tug.

Seeing j like that was making me wet and incredibly aroused. I laid on the bed opposite him, so that he could watch me masturbate. It worked out well since I had a great view of my handiwork. I moaned and thrashed about on the bed and reached a nice orgasm. j seemed desperate for some attention on his cock, and since his hands were pulled down near his cock I told him he could stroke his cock but could only use one finger. I giggled as I watching him struggle to figure out which finger would provide the most intensity, finally settling on his pinkie finger. He rubbed it up and down on his cock as best he could (which was not very well, since he was tied tightly). Still, he was so aroused from watching me play with my pussy and climax and being tied up that it was not long before he asked if he could cum. I denied his request, but told him to continue rubbing his cock with his finger. After some time I decided to cut the ties between his cock and ankles and wrists and ankles. His genitals, wrists and ankles were all still securely and tightly bound, just not to each other.

j was desperate for an orgasm, but I wanted to know just how desperate he was. I instructed him to turn over onto his stomach, which was not an easy task considering his bonds, but after some flopping he succeeded. I told him that if he wanted to cum tonight, he would have to hump the bed to reach his orgasm. He expressed doubt that he could get off this way, but desire and arousal led him to try. It was one of the sexiest things I have ever seen: j, with his wrists secured and extended above him and his ankles secured as well, with his ass going up in the air over and over again as he desperately humped the bed. The show was too much for me, and it was not long before I was having another orgasm as I watched him. This provided even more fuel for his fire, since I moan loudly when I cum. He was humping the bed vigorously at this point and I heard him breathlessly ask if he could cum. Feeling that he had earned this one, I allowed him to cum all over the bed (and himself).

It was a very intense experience, and I continue to be impressed by the levels of desire and arousal j can reach.

Discussing Desires

2009-06-20T08:40:00.004-04:00

When j and I first delved into D/s, we found a great checklist of hundreds (yes, hundreds) of possible D/s related activities. The idea is that both partners can disclose their interests, limits, and desires in this manner. The first time we did this, both j and I were a little unnerved talking about some of the things on this list, so I printed out a copy for each of us and we answered it separately. Later I took both copies and cross-referenced them. We discussed areas we both were interested in, and noted each others limits. It was handy to have a little checklist to consider when I wanted to try something new.

A couple years later, we revisited this exercise. Again, we answered separately and compared answers, but this time in a more open manner. Many things we had previously not been interested in had grown into desires for one or both of us. Also, some things we had been curious about when we considered the list initially had become things we loved (and a couple of things we had tried and could cross off our list since we neither one of us enjoyed them).

Last night we went over the list again, and this time we did it together. There were a couple of surprises for each of us, but for the most part it was just a reflection on where we want to progress. Five plus years into D/s, there are still many things we have not tried (but want to)! I believe it is critical for partners to discuss these things periodically. Desires and turn-ons change over time, and previous limits can melt away over time.

All the talk of D/s turned me on quite a bit. When we were done, I took off my clothes and asked j for my Eroscillator. I instructed him to tell me a fantasy while I masturbated. Initially, he said nothing. In fact, it was several minutes before he began talking, but finally he gave in and told a very erotic story of him coming home to find me naked and pleasuring myself. In his story I instructed him to take off all of his clothes, and tied him up spread-eagled to the bed. I applied a numbing agent to his cock, so that I could receive pleasure from his cock inside me but he could feel very little. After putting a blindfold on him, I lowered my ass onto his cock. With his cock in my ass, I used a dildo on my pussy. I used him in this manner for quite some time, climaxing several times. When I was done with his cock, I sat on his face, the juices from my pussy dripping down over him. His tongue alternated between flicking across my clit and licking my pussy... at least that was how the fantasy went. As jim relayed his fantasy to me, I had a couple of very intense orgasms. I appreciate that he left his comfort zone in order to open up to me, and hope that watching my body writhe from the intense orgasms will encourage him to do this more in the future.

Too Much of a Good Thing

2009-06-17T19:30:00.003-04:00

I have posted before about the difficulties that j and I have maintaining the D/s aspect of our relationship since we work together. Being together 24/7 is difficult, and since I am the boss both at home and at work, j is constantly serving me. It sounds good in theory, but it practice it has been a struggle. j needs his time to be in control (at work) in order to deeply submit to me at home. Furthermore, working together makes it easy to bring our work home with us.

I am happy (and a bit sad) to report that I will soon be working elsewhere. While I will miss being with j all the time, I feel that working apart is best. From the time we started working together a few years ago, D/s between us has suffered. In fact, the times that things are the best between us are when one of us leaves the office for the day.

As I have written before, j is a strong man. he is talented in many areas, and quite honestly performs very well in a leadership position. When I am around however, he does not feel comfortable taking any control. And I must admit, there are days that I wish I was not in charge all day (and night) long.

Considering how intense things were between us before we started working together, I imagine this blog will be getting steamy hot soon!

Gone but Not Forgotten

2009-06-16T21:03:00.004-04:00

It has been a long couple of weeks, and I apologize for not posting. j and I went on a family vacation, which was wonderful. I wish I could say that it afforded us more time for our D/s pleasures, but that was definitely not the case. We dedicated much of our time to our children and bonding as a family.

When we returned, j had a doctors appointment. It was supposed to be just a blood pressure check, but he saw a different doctor who wanted to examine him. He said that he sat there for a few minutes contemplating how he would respond if the doctor asked him to remove his pants (and therefore discovered him wearing panties). He decided that the best way to handle it was to approach it head-on. If the doctor saw and said anything, j was prepared to explain to him just why he was wearing my panties. Behavior like that makes me proud of him. It would have been easy to simply say that we ran out of clean underwear and he grabbed a pair of mine, or that he wore them by mistake. Fortunately for him, he was not asked to remove his pants. On a side note, j really hates going to see the doctor. When he goes, however, I experience a couple different emotions. I worry (because I love him dearly, and want him to be with me for many years to come). I also become a bit aroused. I like thinking about him, sitting on an examining table, completely vulnerable. I like knowing that it makes him feel uncomfortable. I have not shared these feelings with him (though obviously he will know now), and have always thought it a bit odd that I feel this way. Upon some reflection though, I think it is like imagining him with another Mistress. He is in a position where he is partially clothed, essentially forced to do whatever is asked of him, vulnerable and open.

During our time away, I felt that our level of intimacy was low, but j told me that he felt we had maintained a good level of intimacy, especially considering the circumstances. I think he is right. Thinking about our last couple of weeks, I have grabbed and pinched his nipples many times, smacked his ass quite a bit, enjoyed a shower with him as he washed my body and my hair, gotten a pedicure, slapped his balls many times, been brought to orgasm several times, watched him masturbate for me, and allowed him to make love to me. I think since our encounters have been limited and we have not had time to really spend an evening (or more than a few minutes even) alone, it makes me feel like our levels of Dominance and submission have waned. I am hoping to take care of that soon!

The Bitch Is Back In Town

2009-05-28T09:52:00.002-04:00

Seems that my Dominance level is getting back to normal, as is j's level of submission. he is back to being obedient and his servitude is a welcome change from the few weeks of laziness and preoccupation. Our relationship truly seems to be symbiotic in the sense that when I exert my Dominance in a strong manner, his level of submission increases as well. Likewise, when he is extra submissive, I am more inclined to let the Dominant side of myself show in a strong way.

This morning was a perfect example of what I consider a good morning for us. I got up early to work out (not the normal for me, but put me in a great frame of mind). I interrupted j's morning routine by pushing him into the bathroom and telling him to pull down his pants. his ass looked adorable in my pink and purple thong, and I began to redden it, spanking him quite forcefully. he muttered something about me making the color of his ass pink like the panties...I told him I was going to make it PURPLE to match the panties instead!

I believe that our recent problems have been more over the stress and strain of having family visiting and a lot going on than any actual deterioration in our relationship. Still, we need to learn to work through those times without allowing our personal relationship to diminish.

Getting Back to Normal, Slowly

2009-05-27T10:52:00.003-04:00

First, thank you for the comments on my frustration at j for his lack of obedience. While I believe that j always desires to please me, I also know that he is lazy and gets preoccupied easily. After much discussion with j about neglecting his responsibilities, it seems he decided that the priority was to clean the house rather than my list of tasks I require of him. Of course, this is not his decision to make, and in my mind is akin to topping from the bottom. j has a hard time understanding the significance of some of my requests, and I think that since he does not view them as important, he ignores them.

This whole thing puts me in a predicament. I often feel like a nagging bitch because I have to remind him (several times sometimes) to do the things I ask of him. On the other hand, if I say nothing, I get resentful and angry, and I hate being that way. In my opinion, a submissive man should be regularly looking for ways to please his Mistress. he should strive to come up with new and different ways to make her happy or make her life easier. And above all else, he should do what is asked of him, when it is asked of him.

I believe physical punishments are in order, as well as a training program. Frankly, the D/s part of our marriage was initiated by him, but once I learned more about it I dove in full force. It probably has always been a part of who I am, just one that I neglected for a while. I am not willing to go back to vanilla and deny myself who I am. If, however, j continues to be disobedient and ignore my requests, I am considering looking for another submissive who can meet my needs.

Frustrated and angry

2009-05-25T10:55:00.003-04:00

For two weeks j let me down pretty much continuously. While I have gotten over some of my anger, enough of it is lingering that I feel the need to express it. I have a lot on my plate right now... I work 40+ hours a week (sometimes 50+), and I am also going to school to get my master's degree. I am a mother to four children, and I also have two dogs and five puppies that I am caring for. Life is hectic! Despite all the craziness of life though, I have (or had anyway) been writing in my blog frequently, as well as keeping up with our D/s life.

I do not feel that I ask a lot of j. In fact, I feel I am very generous and also very sensitive of his feelings. I do have a few things that I require. I want him to write in his blog at least once a week. I also want him to make dinner for me once a week (something real, not Betty Crocker or take-out!). Finally, as part of his recent punishment, he is required to hand-wash my panties. Frankly, I ask very little of him. his performance, however, is seriously lacking lately.

he is barely blogging. he rarely posts anything unless I fuss at him about it. he has yet to make a single homemade dinner for me since I asked him to do that over a month ago. Also, he has been washing my panties, but doing a terrible job, since I can still smell myself on them. When confronted about it, he came up with excuses.

Additionally, his family came down this past week, which is always stressful. They are great people, but they are very difficult to be around for any length of time. j did do a nice job of keeping the house clean, and I truly do appreciate that.

I am tired of feeling that my needs are last on his list. he can spend hours playing games, watching movies, talking on the phone with his friends, etc. but cannot find ten minutes to blog? cannot clean my panties to my satisfaction? cannot make me a nice dinner?

I am starting to feel (and sound) like a neglected wife, and I hate that. I know that I can force him to do all of these things. I know I can command him to drop everything he is doing and go post in his blog. I know I can force him to watch my panties for hours on end. But damnit... why should I always have to follow him around and make these demands? Shouldn't it be enough that he knows that I want him to do these things, and I ask him once and he does them?

Oooh! Ahhh! Mmmmm....

2009-05-18T14:05:00.002-04:00

When it comes to sex, I am very vocal. I am a moaner, a screamer, a talker even. As soon as touches go from casual to sensual, I begin moaning. It is not something I do consciously, but rather seems to be part of my body's natural response to pleasure. It probably was at least partially why I did so well during my brief stint as a phone sex operator (but more on that in another post).

What begins as moaning during kissing and foreplay, evolves into screams of passion during the throes of orgasm. Lately I have been toying with that I call the "Super O." I tease my pussy (or if I am feeling kind, allow j to do it for me) until I am close to orgasm and then stop. After a few seconds of recovery I begin again. It is tease and denial, but self-inflicted. What I like about it is that when I do allow myself to climax, it is incredibly intense. My moans and screams meld into this almost beastly growling, groaning sound. The release seems to be from my toes, and I cannot stifle the power of it.

j can almost be brought to orgasm from my moans alone, he loves them so. Truth be told, I love them too. I love that I sound as sexy as I feel. I love knowing that my orgasms are so powerful that they induce screams from my body. I am a sexy, powerful woman, and my orgasms attest to that!

Mistress Loves Some CBT

2009-05-16T20:17:00.004-04:00

As I have written before, it is often hard to find time for the sexual aspects of D/s with kids in the house. It is important to j and me to keep this part of our lives private from our children. While they do see j deferring to me to make decisions, doing my nails, etc, they view this as him admiring and loving me. I like to take advantage of the brief moments we have when the kids are otherwise occupied.

Over the past few days I have been introducing brief moments of CBT (cock and ball torture) whenever possible. It turns me on, and keeps j on his toes. If we are sitting on the couch, massaging my feet, I have jammed my heels into his balls. I love watching him squirm, trying to hold his legs together to protect himself. Whenever he does this, I order him to open his legs so I can have access to his cock and balls.

The other day I had a few moments alone in the bedroom with him. I ordered him to lock the door and pull down his pants. he stood before me and I began to attach clothespins to his scrotum. Periodically I would tug and pull on the clothespins as he squirmed. Once I had quite a few clothespins attached, I told him to look at himself and teased him, telling him that he looked like a peacock (he really did!). I slapped his balls several times, and he gasped in pain. Then I began to pull the clothespins off, one by one. I know from our experiences in the past that this is the most painful part for him. I became so aroused as I watched him squirm. Throughout this time he maintained at least a partial erection, and his moans clearly were more of pleasure than of pain.

While sometimes our moments of intimacy are few and far between, we make the most of them!

Hot Lyrics

2009-05-12T20:34:00.002-04:00

I had 'Mysterious Ways' by U2 in my head all day. I had never really considered the lyrics before, but there seems to be an unmistakable reference to BDSM in the following:
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you wanna kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees now

Brought a wee bit of excitement to an otherwise stressful day.

Pushed Too Far?

2009-05-11T11:13:00.003-04:00

Sunday was an exciting day! j and I were both feeling in the mood after all of our D/s talk with Domina and anthony. I told j that I was going to start working on his ability to last longer when we make love. he seemed a little discouraged, thinking it wouldn't be possible for him to last as long as I would like. I like powerful sex with lots of deep thrusting and hot, sweaty bodies, and when we do make love I am a very load moaner. My moans and screams quickly send j over the edge.

I began by taunting j, telling him that I wanted his cock in me. I wanted him to show me how long he could last, and prove to me that he is a man. I continued whispering into his ear as we made love. We made love off and on for quite some. j would stop periodically as he got close to orgasm. As much as possible, I tried to preoccupy myself with thoughts of anything other than the sex I was having. I was not going to allow him to use my moans as an excuse for why he couldn't control himself.

Our love making continued until he could barely put his cock inside me without withdrawing it immediately for fear of cumming. I asked him to beg me to let him cum. I enjoy hearing him beg and grovel, wanting release so badly. For a while I just smiled and told him to beg more. It was very intense and was taking me over the edge. Finally, I told him that I would allow him to cum, but that he had to promise to remain submissive after his orgasm. he also had to promise to do whatever I said. he, of course, agreed and was granted an orgasm.

We made love using a condom, and when we were done I instructed him to remove the condom and drink his sperm. I know that he does not like doing this at all. he will lick his cum off me on occasion, or taste a bit on my finger, but he hates even that. he really protested my request to drink his cum. This didn't surprise me, but it did frustrate me. I told him that he could choose not to, but he needed to realize that his submission is about My needs, and not just his. I believe this hit home with him, and he agreed to swallow his cum for me. he didn't like it, but he followed my direction.

We talked about this later, and he told me that swallowing his own semen is close to a hard limit for him, not because of the humiliation factor, but simply because he doesn't like the taste. I am working now on changing his diet to improve the taste for him, since I do so enjoy seeing him submit in his way.

About Last Night

2009-05-10T10:46:00.002-04:00

Last night was our first face to face meeting with Domina and anthony from The Path Least Chosen. j and I had a bit of a drive to get there, and spent time discussing how we were feeling. While we were both nervous, we were also very excited to meet another couple who shares our desires for a female dominated relationship.

When j and I pulled up to the restaurant, I was wondering what I was getting in to. We were in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm, and the outside of the restaurant looked quite run down. Fortunately, Domina and anthony arrived shortly thereafter. It was so great seeing them and finally being able to put faces to names. They are a cute couple- Domina is effervescent, bubbly and bright. anthony is a bit shy and reserved, and has a sweet smile. The restaurant turned out far better than expected. The inside was quite nice and the food was delicious and inexpensive.

We initially talked more about our lives. The conversation at this point was very vanilla, but even so it was nice to finally feel that I could be free and let my guard down around someone else. D/s has become quite a bit of who we are, and it is difficult to have something you feel so strongly about that you cannot share with anyone other than your partner. The best analogy I can give is spending time with Grandma. When you go to see Grandma, there are things you cannot do or say, simply because she cannot handle them (or at least my Grandma couldn't). Therefore the entire time you spend with Grandma you are never really quite yourself since you are censoring your words and editing them as you say them lest Grandma think you are anything less than perfect. This analogy, while a bit long-winded, describes how I feel when spending time with our vanilla friends. I can never fully relax and be myself.

Talking with Domina and anthony was like talking with old friends. There were never any gaps in the conversation, it just flowed freely. It was nice to see anthony opening up more as the night went on and he became more comfortable. Time seemed to fly by, and gradually the restaurant emptied until it was just our table sitting next to the kitchen help. I really did not want the evening to end, and we agreed to go get drinks and dessert. By this time we all seemed to be a bit more relaxed and the conversation seemed to drift towards our relationships and fetishes. anthony, when he does speak, is very profound. I remember listening to him thinking "Wow, I really need to remember that line, that's great." Domina just makes me smile. I love how she would pull things out of anthony, sharing bits of themselves and their desires. At one point they referred to who outfreaked who. This reference was followed shortly thereafter by anthony asking j about urethral sounds and how the heck they worked (with a horrified look on his face)! So maybe we won the outfreak battle, but I am not so sure we will win the war!

It wasn't until after 1 a.m. that we called it a night. I normally would have fallen asleep in the car on the ride home, but instead talked with j about how our evening went. We both agreed it went as well as it possibly could have. I am looking forward to getting together with Domina and anthony again soon. I can even see shopping and spending time with Domina on one of her nights away from anthony. Girls time is always good, especially when we can bounce ideas off each other! Thank you, Domina and anthony, for a wonderful evening. Hope it is the first of many to come.

Furtive Fumblings in the Bedroom

2009-05-09T11:29:00.004-04:00

Sex with children in the house reminds me of those times, as a teenager, that I would have a boyfriend over. We would both be so hot for each other, but with parents within earshot had to keep our oohs, ahs and moans to a minimum. I remember at times the excitement and daring of it all seemed to intensify things for me. Now, as an adult with kids in the house, it does nothing but damper the sensations!

Every other weekend we go from one to four children in the house. Our daughter who lives with us full-time is a sound sleeper, and is extremely independent. She frequently gets up in the morning and does her own thing for a while. Our other three children...not so much! They fill the house with doors closing, running, fussing at each other, giggling and laughing, making crazy noises (okay, it's not nearly as bad as I am making it out to be, but you get the idea). Also, they frequently feel the need to share things with us, knocking on the door at the most inopportune times!

I woke a little earlier than usual this morning. The sun was shining in through the blinds, and I felt rejuvenated after an excellent sleep. I pulled back the covers so I could look at j's naked body (I require him to sleep naked). he looked sexy and yet vulnerable. his already small-ish manhood shriveled up even further than usual. I stroked him and he began to wake up, feeling my fingers grasping his cock. Within seconds he was hard and moaning softly. I asked him how long it had been since he had last cum. "I don't know...at least a week, maybe two." He continued to moan, and I became quite aroused just watching his cock grow under my touch.

I asked for my vibrator and began to rub it against myself, instructing him to touch himself so I could watch. Wisely, he went and locked the door at this point, then returned and kneeled beside my head so I had an excellent view. I love watching him stroke his (my) cock. It did not take me long at all to reach orgasm myself, and then I began using the vibrator, my beloved Magic Wand, on him. I teased his cock for a while, watching him get close to orgasm, then pulling away. I did this several times, and at the last time his moans continued after I pulled away, and cum flowed out of his cock. According to j, he came but did not orgasm, and while I am not arguing with the biological possibilities of this happening, in my book they are one in the same. j has a problem with cumming prematurely, and I felt disappointed that he could not control himself. After all, I had not teased him much at all this morning.

I excused him to go clean himself up, and when he returned to bed I slapped his balls several times...hard. Hard enough that he closed his legs when I reach back between then to slap him again. I scolded him for this and slapped him a few more times. Then I began stroking his cock again, getting him rock hard very quickly. Within moments he was asking me if he could cum. I, of course, refused to let him and instead slapped his balls some more. Each time it would elicit gasps of pain and his body would arch up to escape my hand. Then I would go back to stroking. This continued for some time. I could have gone on even longer except.....

* knock-knock-knock *
* knock-knock-knock *
"Mom, somebody broke my light-up toy."
UGH! Despite being quiet, the children were up and needing attention. Seems like they can sense whenever we are being intimate!

Do not get me wrong, I really love my children. They are the best things that have ever happened to me and I treasure each of them. I am so thankful that I have these years to enjoy with them, to watch them grown and develop into unique individuals, each with their own gifts. But every once in a while I fantasize about what it will be like when they are grown and on their own and the house is quiet again. Happy Mother's Day!

Excited About Tomorrow Night

2009-05-08T11:47:00.002-04:00

Some posts back I wrote about meeting another couple online who lives near us. They also live a femdom lifestyle. While we have chatted and exchanged emails, we have yet to meet face to face. It looks like this will happen tomorrow night. Up until this morning it seemed iffy at best, as we switched weekends with my ex-husband, so I will have all my children with me this weekend. Four kids, two dogs and five little puppies is a daunting task for any sitter, but fortunately our wonderful babysitter/employee came through for us yet again. This will allow us to meet Domina and anthony. If you are not yet aware of their blog, it is The Path Least Chosen.

I am really looking forward to meeting both of them. We have living a femdom life for nearly five years now, but have never had anyone with whom we felt comfortable sharing it. While a few people who are very close to us do know, it is certainly not something we discuss with them.

In other news, j has really stepped up his submission. he himself came to me in his CB-3000 and asked me if I would lock him up. he knows this pleases me, and I become aroused just thinking about it during the day. By being locked away, he is surrendering to me completely. The fact that this is of his own doing is exhilarating.

he looks quite sexy in his panties. Actually, we match today! he has yet to hand-wash my panties for me, but they are waiting for him and I am sure he will do it tonight. I so appreciate Eclectic Enchantress' suggestions for him for washing my panties! I will make sure he follows your directions. I enjoy that in a way, another Domme is telling him what to do. Just what a good submissive hubby needs!

The Verdict Is...

2009-05-06T09:34:00.002-04:00

It has taken me a while to mull over punishment ideas for j. he has stepped up his behavior quite a bit in the meantime, hopefully more out of respect than fear for what he may have coming. Initially I considered forcing him to sleep in the spare bedroom for a week. Upon further consideration though, I realized that this would simply take him further away from me (something I definitely do not want). In a way, I would be punishing myself as well, and that is not acceptable.

I have decided that his punishment will be multi-faceted. He will be wearing panties for the next month. This, generally, does not appeal to him but is something that I enjoy. I am certain that the frequent reminder of his position throughout the day will help to reinforce his submission. During this month, he will be washing all of his (and my) panties by hand and laying them out to dry. Finally, he has coming to him quite a CBT session. I have been reading up on various techniques that will make him squirm. This part of the punishment he will enjoy, to a certain extent, though I plan on pushing his limits.

Hopefully these will help to reinforce his submission. If they don't, further punishment will be in order (which is always exciting)!

Punishment Is In Order

2009-05-04T11:03:00.003-04:00

The past few months have been very challenging for me. Not only am I working full time, but I am also going to school. In addition, we have a four children (one with us full-time and three every other weekend). Many days I find myself exhausted, yet despite this my feelings of Dominance have grown. More than ever before I want to see j down on the floor, sitting before me.

While my feelings of dominance have piqued, it appears that j's feelings of submission have diminished. Truth be told, he is overwhelmed by everything going on in life too, and I understand that. But I am frustrated that, at the end of the day, when I am doing school work, he is watching tv or playing games on the computer. I know that as his Mistress I can command him to get off his ass and clean the house. But sometimes I want him to do this without me demanding it. I want him to do it simply because he knows it will please me and not because I instructed him to. It is kind of like telling him I want him to bring me flowers. Yes, he would do it, but only because I was telling him to. This continues to be a point of debate for us.

Frustrating the matter even more is that when I do tell him things to get done, often they are done incompletely or he puts off doing them so that I must remind him.
Frankly, I feel as if I am dealing with a child.

As a result of these behaviors (and his laziness), we frequently come to the point where my frustration boils over. This has happened periodically since we began D/s and seems to be increasing in frequency. I know that I should punish him at these times, but I do not like the idea that he may get some satisfaction out of being punished. I will be considering this matter today and post his punishment this evening. It should be....interesting!