Our weekend has not gone as planned, and I am feeling pretty disappointed. I had hoped for a weekend of playing, lots of sex and just some much-needed D/s time. Unfortunately, my body did not cooperate. My period started, leaving me feeling not at all sexual. Right now I'm feeling pretty miserable.
After realizing my needs and plans for the weekend were not going to be met, I went into salvage mode and started catering to j's needs. he had been mentioning recently that he wanted to watch more movies (something I am not usually in the mood to do), so we went out and rented a couple of movies. They were actually pretty enjoyable, but I couldn't help but think this is not what I wanted, not how I planned things.
I tried, up until this morning, to salvage things as much as possible. j remained in his collar and my panties, and he gave me a foot massage and pedicure, both of which were very nice. I know he felt disappointed by the weekend as well.
This morning I fell apart, crying and telling j that the weekend had been a waste. It had- but not just because there was no sex. Just as there is a subspace, I think there is a 'Dommespace' too. I am there most of the time- I truly enjoy controlling j, having him submit to my needs and desires, taking him and using him sexually. But every now and then I come plummeting out of 'Dommespace,' and that is where I am right now. Sitting in bed, feeling sad and sorry for myself, and wishing j would realize that sometimes I just need to be held and have someone tell me they understand how I am feeling.
from the sub side, I can relate to my wife altering plans at the last minute and can say I enjoy being kept on my toes. I found that if I have expectations for some future event that will play out in a scenario I would enjoy, I am setting myself up for frustration if my wife changes the plans. She doesn't deserve to have me frustrated, so I try to not wrap my expectations around things in the future.
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