Cuckolding: A sub's Perspective

After receiving the comment on my blog, which I have addressed in "Cuckolding: A Domme's Perspective," I asked j to write his thoughts on the matter. These are his words:

i can imagine it can be difficult for someone who is not a submissive or has never been in a D/s relationship to truly understand and appreciate that kind of relationship. Additionally, it must be hard to understand why someone would want the person they love and cherish to be intimate with another person. i know Mistress and i have gone through these discussion in regards to other types or "factions" of BDSM. There are some types of D/s or BDSM that W/we simply do not get. i attribute this lack of appreciation to not having been in that type of relationship before or not having those kinds of feelings. When W/we first started in O/our D/s relationship, i remember reading that the members of the BDSM community were actually the most critical group of people of the lifestyle. Much more so than those outside. That every person has their turn-on and doesn't understand why somebody else has something else that triggers them. So i am going to attribute some of your concern to that.

Secondly, it is a broad generalization that intimate relationships with more than two people usually end up in disaster. This may be where you are coming from. Conversely, W/we feel that if a relationship has the essential elements needed to succeed, thrive, and grow, that anything is possible. One of the hallmarks of a D/s relationship is communication and trust. Though there are couples out there that have very strict Cuckold relationships where the man has zero control over anything, that is not O/our situation. There is constant communication, evaluation, and assessment before, during, and afterwards. Not just when W/we invite another person but in every aspect. Mistress controls the wheel. But without having a deep trust and love for Her, She wouldn't be able to have that control. And there must be trust that She has everyone's (cannot underline that word enough) best interest in mind.

Thirdly, i don't know if W/we have the standard cuckold relationship. i think W/we fall somewhere between cuckold, whitol, and swinger. As you have read, She controls the actions but W/we are both involved in the interactions. W/we share this experience together. And that is what makes it special.

Lastly, the real question: What do i get out of it? i receive incredible fulfillment from the knowledge that the person i love is having Her fantasies realized and that i can provide that for Her. Nothing turns me on more than seeing Mistress turned on. i am not forced into this. i am not a slave. i am submitting to Her desires and in turn being fulfilled by Her sexual and emotional exploration with other people.

i hope this clarifies O/our situation a little. Thanks for reading and special thanks for your input.

Cuckolding: A Domme's Perspective

When you write a blog, you open yourself up to comments and thoughts from others. By and large, the comments I receive are supportive and appreciative. On occasion I receive a comment that is critical. I received this comment today and felt it would make a good blog post.

The comment reads: “Sounds like that is it for your marriage unless hubby can stand your obvious desire for other men. Ask yourself this: Do you have any interest in j sexually other than as an object of your pleasure? If not, you should let him know and see how he feels. It looks to me you are confusing dominance with sexual boredom, because your guy can't "man up" in the bedroom.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but cuckoldry is playing with fire, and you might want to ask yourself (assuming you actually care for j) what he is getting out of it.

And yes, I've read the other two posts on this topic.

Clarence”

My response: I appreciate your comment and realize it was placed after thought and out of concern for My marriage. I can assure you that cuckolding was not something either one of us entered into lightly. We had discussed the issue quite a bit at different times, and came to the conclusion it was the path for us. Read: US. Not for Me, not for him, but for Us together as a couple. j is my husband first, my submissive second. Feel free to ask him if he sees this as a problem, if he feels like he cannot satisfy me, if he prefers that things be different. I can assure you that is not the case. he has told me this, and he has written this on his own blog, Serving My Mistress.

j is not by any means a groveling on the floor type of submissive. That’s just not who he is. He can and DOES speak his mind, especially when something is bothering him. Can he satisfy me? Sure! Do I enjoy being able to tease him and taunt him, letting him know that another man is doing it for me? Absolutely! j’s ONLY deficiencies in the bedroom are that he is small (which has never been an issue for me) and that he cannot last a long time (something we have remedied quite well with numbing cream). Aside from that, he is a phenomenal lover, whether the sex is traditional, vanilla sex or full-blown, out and out raunchy D/s sex.

You are right when you say that cuckolding is a dangerous path. I agree, wholeheartedly. Then again, that could be said about many different aspects of Dominance and submission. But ultimately, the path we are taking is one we chose to take, together. I respect j’s limits, but more than that, I am cognizant of his feelings. I have never been the type of Domme that goes through life without a care in the world about the feelings of her submissive. Rather, I want him to be happy.

My blog includes time away, sometimes months at a time when D/s was not working for us for whatever reason. During these times, we generally have a more vanilla relationship, at least in the sexual sense. And who is it who comes back begging for more D/s? He does. After my submissive came and visited us for a few days, j was immediately trying to figure out how we could travel and spend more time together.

After reading his comment, I asked j to write his thoughts on the matter. I will be posting them now, as Cuckolding: A sub's Perspective.

Two Men In My Bed, Part 3

When I had fantasized about having two submissives together, many images ran through my mind, but none stronger than an image of t sucking on j's cock. t and I had talked about this at great length, and he had confessed to me that he felt this was the epitome of humiliation to him. Still, before his visit I was not sure I would have him go through with it. Above all else, I truly care for both men, and although my fantasy was strong, I wanted to be careful both men were comfortable.

As you may remember, we had put two queen mattresses together on the floor in the living room so we could all sleep comfortably together. The boys, now naked after a game of Strip Guitar Hero, awaited my next command. I told t to suck j's cock for Me. Without hesitation, he moved between j's outstretched legs, bent over and took j's cock in his mouth. Up and down he went, very slowly and passionately. he seemed to enjoy the experience, though I have no doubt what he truly relished was submitting to me so deeply that he would perform such an act.

t continued to suck on j, and j told me he was getting closer. he began thrusting his hips, yearning for more of t's mouth. I told t to swallow j's cum, half expecting that I would be slapping his face as he refused. Instead, he sucked harder and took everything j had to give. I had been furiously rubbing my pussy as t sucked, and was beyond orgasmic.

I immediately pulled t toward me, kissing him passionately, sticking my tongue deep into his mouth and tasting j's cum. I wanted him so badly then! My Domme rush still in full force, I ordered the boys to kiss. Their kiss was pathetic at best, almost like watching two teenagers with their first kiss. Still, it was hot that they would do even this for me.

I then ordered j to suck t's cock again. I must admit, j is the better performer in this arena, and he surprised me with his skill. Of course, I imagine he learned everything he knows from me. j sucked t for quite some time as I rubbed my wet pussy. I came at least twice, maybe more, as j's eyes remained on mine. I told j to stop, and that I wanted to make love to t.

I wanted to make the cuckold experience complete, so I ordered j to put a condom on t, and then I lowered myself down onto t's cock. At this point he had been erect most of the time for a few days, so I was rather surprised when he was not hard enough for insertion. I will chalk it up to performance anxiety, however I was rather pissed at the time. I wanted to ride him and I wanted it then! Still, I recognized that the days had taken each of us to places we had never been.

We enjoyed dinner and a silly movie, and I enjoyed being in t's arms as we watched the film. He held me close and lovingly played with my long hair, rubbed my back and my legs. When the movie was over, t and I slowly began making out again. His kisses were so sweet, so loving and passionate. I decided that as punishment for not being able to satisfy me earlier, t would be cuckolded. I rode j's cock with abandon in front of him, moaning and screaming out with the orgasm that t had not been able to give me. I wanted to make sure he saw what he was missing out on. t was incredibly aroused watching, and I pushed him onto his back. Again I had j put a condom on him and then pushed j aside as I placed my legs astride t and lowered myself onto him. I rode him hard and fast, just like I like it. I am fairly certain the neighbors heard me, I moaned so loudly!

After some time we both collapsed onto a pile on the beds, totally spent. I motioned for j to join us and the three of us lay together, intertwined. In that moment I felt more love, passion, desire, and Dominance than ever before.

Two Men In My Bed - part 2

Watching j go down on a man, just because I ordered it was an incredible feeling. Prior to that, the time I have felt most dominant is when taking j with my strap-on. This, by far, outweighed that experience. I couldn't help but rub my pussy, having several orgasms while I watched this show that I was controlling.

Now drenched, I pulled j off t and towards me and guided his head to my pussy. He licked enthusiastically and I came yet again. By this point I was practically shuddering when I reached orgasm... my body was at such a heightened state of arousal. I wanted t to remain aroused, as my intention was to keep him turned on as long as possible while allowing him no release. I licked and sucked his cock gently and then stopped, edging him closer and closer to orgasm yet denying him every time. Just when he seemed to be anticipating what I would do next, I fingered his virgin ass.

I wanted t to feel what it was like to have no control- to be helplessly restrained and blindfolded. I told j to lay on his back. He actually hard a difficult time getting hard (something we have chalked up to some meds I gave him to help him last longer). When I was finally able to get him erect, he came immediately after I lowered my body onto him. He got very little enjoyment out of it due to his deadened sensations, which pleased me.

Somehow, I still hadn't had enough. I pulled out my Hitachi Magic Wand and pressed it hard against my pussy. As I did this, I would yank oh t's nipples as hard as I could, or rip out some of his chest hair. His moans of pain mixed quite nicely with my moans of pleasure. Eventually my body had had enough, and I collapsed, falling asleep between my two wonderful submissives.

... there is one more post in this series which will prove to be the hottest of all. Coming soon!

My Cuckold and Me

If you had asked either j or I several years ago if we would have considered cuckoldry, we would both said you were crazy. It wasn't that we saw anything wrong with it, but just did not feel like it was for us. Oh, how things change!

Our first tiptoe into the waters of cuckoldry came a couple years ago, when I began to talk to a few submissive men online. I enjoyed being fawned over, of course, and the extra attention I was receiving from other submissives really kept j on his toes. It reinforced his submissive position, and I made a point to remind him regularly that although I can have whatever submissive I want, he is mine and mine alone.

Before t came to visit, I told j it was my intention to be intimate with him. He had very mixed feelings about this... from arousal, to concern about the impact on our marriage, to questioning what his role would be. I consider myself a wife first and a Domme second, so we discussed his feelings at great length. The conclusion we came to is that we would touch base often during t's visit, but that the decision of how far I would go with him would be mine alone.

Now a bit of a spoiler- I had great sex with t, and enjoyed riding him. I also enjoyed knowing that j was there, watching every second of it. Was he more attentive after that? Hell yeah! Just as I take away his manhood when I force him to wear panties and use a strap-on on him, I take away his security when I make love to another man. The dichotomy of fear of what it might mean versus excitement of watching was clearly very powerful for him.

Every time I kissed t, groped him, slapped him, squeezed his balls, I knew that j was watching and wanting for that to be him. What a feeling of complete and total control! Since then, he has remained in a deeper level of submission as I have remained in a deeper level of dominance.

I fully intend to take on another submissive and likely cuckold j again...

I have started on my next post about t's visit- it promises to be a hot one. It will likely go up tomorrow, for those of you waiting with bated breath!