The Bitch Is Back In Town

Seems that my Dominance level is getting back to normal, as is j's level of submission. he is back to being obedient and his servitude is a welcome change from the few weeks of laziness and preoccupation. Our relationship truly seems to be symbiotic in the sense that when I exert my Dominance in a strong manner, his level of submission increases as well. Likewise, when he is extra submissive, I am more inclined to let the Dominant side of myself show in a strong way.

This morning was a perfect example of what I consider a good morning for us. I got up early to work out (not the normal for me, but put me in a great frame of mind). I interrupted j's morning routine by pushing him into the bathroom and telling him to pull down his pants. his ass looked adorable in my pink and purple thong, and I began to redden it, spanking him quite forcefully. he muttered something about me making the color of his ass pink like the panties...I told him I was going to make it PURPLE to match the panties instead!

I believe that our recent problems have been more over the stress and strain of having family visiting and a lot going on than any actual deterioration in our relationship. Still, we need to learn to work through those times without allowing our personal relationship to diminish.

Getting Back to Normal, Slowly

First, thank you for the comments on my frustration at j for his lack of obedience. While I believe that j always desires to please me, I also know that he is lazy and gets preoccupied easily. After much discussion with j about neglecting his responsibilities, it seems he decided that the priority was to clean the house rather than my list of tasks I require of him. Of course, this is not his decision to make, and in my mind is akin to topping from the bottom. j has a hard time understanding the significance of some of my requests, and I think that since he does not view them as important, he ignores them.

This whole thing puts me in a predicament. I often feel like a nagging bitch because I have to remind him (several times sometimes) to do the things I ask of him. On the other hand, if I say nothing, I get resentful and angry, and I hate being that way. In my opinion, a submissive man should be regularly looking for ways to please his Mistress. he should strive to come up with new and different ways to make her happy or make her life easier. And above all else, he should do what is asked of him, when it is asked of him.

I believe physical punishments are in order, as well as a training program. Frankly, the D/s part of our marriage was initiated by him, but once I learned more about it I dove in full force. It probably has always been a part of who I am, just one that I neglected for a while. I am not willing to go back to vanilla and deny myself who I am. If, however, j continues to be disobedient and ignore my requests, I am considering looking for another submissive who can meet my needs.

Frustrated and angry

For two weeks j let me down pretty much continuously. While I have gotten over some of my anger, enough of it is lingering that I feel the need to express it. I have a lot on my plate right now... I work 40+ hours a week (sometimes 50+), and I am also going to school to get my master's degree. I am a mother to four children, and I also have two dogs and five puppies that I am caring for. Life is hectic! Despite all the craziness of life though, I have (or had anyway) been writing in my blog frequently, as well as keeping up with our D/s life.

I do not feel that I ask a lot of j. In fact, I feel I am very generous and also very sensitive of his feelings. I do have a few things that I require. I want him to write in his blog at least once a week. I also want him to make dinner for me once a week (something real, not Betty Crocker or take-out!). Finally, as part of his recent punishment, he is required to hand-wash my panties. Frankly, I ask very little of him. his performance, however, is seriously lacking lately.

he is barely blogging. he rarely posts anything unless I fuss at him about it. he has yet to make a single homemade dinner for me since I asked him to do that over a month ago. Also, he has been washing my panties, but doing a terrible job, since I can still smell myself on them. When confronted about it, he came up with excuses.

Additionally, his family came down this past week, which is always stressful. They are great people, but they are very difficult to be around for any length of time. j did do a nice job of keeping the house clean, and I truly do appreciate that.

I am tired of feeling that my needs are last on his list. he can spend hours playing games, watching movies, talking on the phone with his friends, etc. but cannot find ten minutes to blog? cannot clean my panties to my satisfaction? cannot make me a nice dinner?

I am starting to feel (and sound) like a neglected wife, and I hate that. I know that I can force him to do all of these things. I know I can command him to drop everything he is doing and go post in his blog. I know I can force him to watch my panties for hours on end. But damnit... why should I always have to follow him around and make these demands? Shouldn't it be enough that he knows that I want him to do these things, and I ask him once and he does them?

Oooh! Ahhh! Mmmmm....

When it comes to sex, I am very vocal. I am a moaner, a screamer, a talker even. As soon as touches go from casual to sensual, I begin moaning. It is not something I do consciously, but rather seems to be part of my body's natural response to pleasure. It probably was at least partially why I did so well during my brief stint as a phone sex operator (but more on that in another post).

What begins as moaning during kissing and foreplay, evolves into screams of passion during the throes of orgasm. Lately I have been toying with that I call the "Super O." I tease my pussy (or if I am feeling kind, allow j to do it for me) until I am close to orgasm and then stop. After a few seconds of recovery I begin again. It is tease and denial, but self-inflicted. What I like about it is that when I do allow myself to climax, it is incredibly intense. My moans and screams meld into this almost beastly growling, groaning sound. The release seems to be from my toes, and I cannot stifle the power of it.

j can almost be brought to orgasm from my moans alone, he loves them so. Truth be told, I love them too. I love that I sound as sexy as I feel. I love knowing that my orgasms are so powerful that they induce screams from my body. I am a sexy, powerful woman, and my orgasms attest to that!

Mistress Loves Some CBT

As I have written before, it is often hard to find time for the sexual aspects of D/s with kids in the house. It is important to j and me to keep this part of our lives private from our children. While they do see j deferring to me to make decisions, doing my nails, etc, they view this as him admiring and loving me. I like to take advantage of the brief moments we have when the kids are otherwise occupied.

Over the past few days I have been introducing brief moments of CBT (cock and ball torture) whenever possible. It turns me on, and keeps j on his toes. If we are sitting on the couch, massaging my feet, I have jammed my heels into his balls. I love watching him squirm, trying to hold his legs together to protect himself. Whenever he does this, I order him to open his legs so I can have access to his cock and balls.

The other day I had a few moments alone in the bedroom with him. I ordered him to lock the door and pull down his pants. he stood before me and I began to attach clothespins to his scrotum. Periodically I would tug and pull on the clothespins as he squirmed. Once I had quite a few clothespins attached, I told him to look at himself and teased him, telling him that he looked like a peacock (he really did!). I slapped his balls several times, and he gasped in pain. Then I began to pull the clothespins off, one by one. I know from our experiences in the past that this is the most painful part for him. I became so aroused as I watched him squirm. Throughout this time he maintained at least a partial erection, and his moans clearly were more of pleasure than of pain.

While sometimes our moments of intimacy are few and far between, we make the most of them!

Hot Lyrics

I had 'Mysterious Ways' by U2 in my head all day. I had never really considered the lyrics before, but there seems to be an unmistakable reference to BDSM in the following:
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you wanna kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees now

Brought a wee bit of excitement to an otherwise stressful day.

Pushed Too Far?

Sunday was an exciting day! j and I were both feeling in the mood after all of our D/s talk with Domina and anthony. I told j that I was going to start working on his ability to last longer when we make love. he seemed a little discouraged, thinking it wouldn't be possible for him to last as long as I would like. I like powerful sex with lots of deep thrusting and hot, sweaty bodies, and when we do make love I am a very load moaner. My moans and screams quickly send j over the edge.

I began by taunting j, telling him that I wanted his cock in me. I wanted him to show me how long he could last, and prove to me that he is a man. I continued whispering into his ear as we made love. We made love off and on for quite some. j would stop periodically as he got close to orgasm. As much as possible, I tried to preoccupy myself with thoughts of anything other than the sex I was having. I was not going to allow him to use my moans as an excuse for why he couldn't control himself.

Our love making continued until he could barely put his cock inside me without withdrawing it immediately for fear of cumming. I asked him to beg me to let him cum. I enjoy hearing him beg and grovel, wanting release so badly. For a while I just smiled and told him to beg more. It was very intense and was taking me over the edge. Finally, I told him that I would allow him to cum, but that he had to promise to remain submissive after his orgasm. he also had to promise to do whatever I said. he, of course, agreed and was granted an orgasm.

We made love using a condom, and when we were done I instructed him to remove the condom and drink his sperm. I know that he does not like doing this at all. he will lick his cum off me on occasion, or taste a bit on my finger, but he hates even that. he really protested my request to drink his cum. This didn't surprise me, but it did frustrate me. I told him that he could choose not to, but he needed to realize that his submission is about My needs, and not just his. I believe this hit home with him, and he agreed to swallow his cum for me. he didn't like it, but he followed my direction.

We talked about this later, and he told me that swallowing his own semen is close to a hard limit for him, not because of the humiliation factor, but simply because he doesn't like the taste. I am working now on changing his diet to improve the taste for him, since I do so enjoy seeing him submit in his way.