All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

I'm a pretty understanding person. I understand that sometimes things happen beyond our control. But it is difficult to be understanding when things like this happen... a lot.

We were all set to have dinner with Domina and anthony tonight. By all set, I mean that j and I had taken our daughter to her grandmother's house for the weekend (3 hours away), j had gotten everything for dinner together, we had arranged to have our dogs elsewhere for the evening, the house had been picked up. j had texted and called anthony around noon and did not get a response. Around 2 pm, he got a phone call from anthony saying that he and Domina would not be coming. Something had come up with his kids, and he would not be able to make it.

I was in the bedroom, getting ready, when j came in. He said to me, "You know, we need to find new friends. D and a will not be coming tonight." He went on to explain that a had called, and that something was going on with his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids.

This should not have come as a surprise to me. As you may remember, two weekends ago, right in the middle of a great dinner, Domina and anthony had to leave unexpectedly when he had to go pick up his daughter. j and I were quite disappointed, but at the same time understanding. We have both been divorced, and we have kids. We know that sometimes things come up.

It was their idea to get together this weekend to try things again. It was a great idea- it required a little finagling on our part to make arrangements for our daughter, but we felt that their company was worth it.

Right now I don't know what to say. It's mid-afternoon, and we live in a rural area so it's not like we can pick up and go to a nice dinner or a movie and make the best of a bad situation. Yes, we could be intimate, but as angry as I am right now I might take it out on j.

This whole thing makes me sad. I am, and have always been, a giving person. I think nothing of being their for my friends when they need me, and when Domina and anthony were having a rough time, I did everything I could to help them both. I talked/emailed/texted Domina for hours on end. I met with both of them and tried to help them reconcile.

Even after it seemed their relationship was drifting back towards "Vanillaville," I wanted to remain friends with Domina. As I have posted before, she is the type of person I would like to be friends with even if we did not share the common bond of being Dommes. The fact that we do is the icing on the cake.

j and I were both excited when it seemed that the D/s passion was back between them. We were happy for them, and happy for ourselves as well, since we had first met as a D/s couple seeking another D/s couple for friendship. And while part of me wants to just let the disappointment go and move on, I do not know if I can.

To their credit, they did try to shift things around to come out for a short time. But it seemed pointless, since they would be driving quite a bit for a short amount of time here, and really the offer to do that only came up after I got upset about them cancelling on us.

So here I am, dressed up and looking quite hot, and feeling not too unlike how I did two weeks ago when they left in the midst of a fantastic dinner to attend to a crisis. I really like both of them, j and I love spending time with them, but if their lives are in so much turmoil that they cannot keep their plans (or at least give a reasonable amount of notice), I am not sure that it is beneficial to continue on.

Recap of a Great Evening with Friends

Last night our good friends Domina and anthony came out to see us. They thoughtfully made the drive to us, coming about an hour and a half, since we had both had crazy weeks here. It was great seeing them again! As usual, they both looked very nice, and Domina confessed that they barely made it to us without having to stop for a make-out session on the way. And while I did not confess it last night, j and I spent pretty much the entire day making out off and on. Seems that knowing we were going to be getting together with D and a got us both going!

While our night ended prematurely with a bit of a crisis involving one of anthony's children, a good time was had by all. I cannot being to describe how freeing it is to be able to be yourself completely, and know that you don't need to censor anything. We talked about so many things- from relationships and D/s, to food and Disney rides (yes, seriously!). I think I have written this before, but the great thing about Domina and anthony is that these are people I would choose to hang out with even if they were in a vanilla relationship- the fact that they share our D/s desires is the icing on the cake!

Even though the night was cut short, we are already planning our next get together. Domina posted on her blog this morning that the time we spend together brings up new conversations between her and anthony. I feel the same way. For us, it has been this way ever since we had our first chat online. Their relationship has spawned many ideas (for instance, j wearing panties every day is a direct result of anthony doing the same). I am sure that the more we get to know one another, the more our respective relationships will be enhanced.

Exciting Weekend Ahead

It has been a long week for j and I (hence the lack of posting!). We have both been very busy at our respective jobs, with very little down time. Still, we have managed to keep the D/s flowing between us.

I had removed j's anklets last weekend when we went to visit my father. I knew he would be swimming, and I did not think it was appropriate for him to wear them. When we returned, I had not put them back on him. Don't get me wrong, I had not forgotten, I just really did not have time to put them back on him properly. It did not seem right to just slap them on. : ) j sweetly reminded me this morning, as he raised up his pant legs and said, "Mistress, my legs feel too light." It was very touching, as I know that j feels awkward asking for anything like this, since he feels it is my place to decide. I knew that for him to get to the point that he asked me about it, he must have been very desperate to have his anklets back on. Tonight I invited him into the bedroom and had him undress. I took his anklets out of the cabinet, and he got in the fetal position on the bed. I liked seeing him so vulnerable, it made the moment that much more intense for me. I put his anklets back on, then groped his body a bit. I played with his cock and testicles with my toes, squeezing them.

j has been very good to me this week. he has made (or offered to make) breakfast each morning, sent me roses at work, and has been getting our daughter off to school each day. I am very blessed to have such an attentive sub!

Now on to the purpose of this post... our friends Domina and anthony, who had pulled away from D/s due to some turmoil in their relationship, now seem to be embracing the lifestyle again. Domina asked us to join them for dinner this weekend, but I was not really sure if either of us would be up to it. She thoughtfully suggested that they come to us (saving us the drive). I decided this is just what we need after a week of working too hard- to be able to spend some time with our good friends, feeling free to be ourselves. I am really looking forward to it!

Domina is a fantastic Woman, and our friendship means a lot to me. When she told me that she and anthony were taking a break from D/s, I was disappointed. She is such a kindred spirit, and sharing our journeys together has made me stronger, and given me countless ideas of ways to dominate j. I am sure that our time together will be wonderful!

Looking for New D/s Friends

Several months ago, while surfing Craigslist, I came across an ad from a Femdom couple who were looking to meet another Femdom couple. I was very excited, as they were located relatively close to us and enjoyed similar activities (both hobbies/likes as well as kinks). After emailing back and forth a few times, we chatted online. Shortly thereafter we met in person, for dinner and drinks. The meeting was a lot of fun, and once we all were comfortable with each other the conversation became quite revealing. It was so nice to be able to relax and be ourselves around others, especially knowing that they shared our desire for a female-led relationship.

We have continued getting to know them better over the past few months, but sadly they are struggling quite a bit in their relationship and lives and have decided to put aside their D/s interests until things settle down for them. While we are certainly still friends with them, I am sad that the sole couple that we are completely open with has put their common bond with us on hiatus. Which puts me on my current quest- to find another couple who shares our Femdom interests and lifestyle.

Before I met our friends I did not realize the value of bonding with a couple who shares similar passions. Now that their paths have diverged from ours, I am missing the familiarity and comradery.

Would A Stranger Ever Guess?

j and I frequently remark about people we encounter who seem to have very Dominant or submissive personalities. It was something we really never noticed until we started delving into the lifestyle ourselves, but ever since it seems that some people stick out like sore thumbs. I was wondering today, would an outsider guess our 'secret?'

If a stranger were to meet us separately, the answer would be a resounding no! Aside from the fact that my clothes are mostly black, and I am usually wearing heels of some sort, there would be very little clue. I tend to be a little introverted when dealing with strangers. I am observant, and I like to read people. I do not think I come across as an overly Dominant woman....until people get to know me! People who know me well see that side of me that likes to be in control of every situation, and whose eyes flash with anger when I am crossed.

As for j, he is the opposite. His personality is affable and light, warm and personable. He is the life of the party, and I swear he has never met a stranger that he did not like! And truly, that is the way he is with both new friends and old. He does not give off even a hint of subservience. He is a natural leader!

But when we are together... the interplay between my Dominance and his submission is quite obvious. For two people who are 'in the closet' so to speak, we do not hide the nature of our relationship. He refers to me as his queen, his beauty, he waits on me hand and foot. He rubs my back, opens the car door for me, and submits to me in any way I desire. He asks me before he spends money, and when making any decisions, he tells others that he has to ask 'the boss' first. I expect these acts of obedience from him. When he slacks off (and he does from time to time), I am right there, reinforcing my Dominance over him. A new development...if he does something wrong, he comes to me and asks me to slap his face. It started out as a joke, but has become a meaningful, if brief, punishment for his errors. It is more about the act than any pain, as I am careful to never smack him too hard....okay, mostly. ;)

It is an interesting dichotomy: apart, few would suspect my Dominance or j's submission, but together some degree of the nature of our relationship is apparent. I know my control and dominance makes j the loving submissive that he is, and he makes me the Dominant queen that I am!

About Last Night

Last night was our first face to face meeting with Domina and anthony from The Path Least Chosen. j and I had a bit of a drive to get there, and spent time discussing how we were feeling. While we were both nervous, we were also very excited to meet another couple who shares our desires for a female dominated relationship.

When j and I pulled up to the restaurant, I was wondering what I was getting in to. We were in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm, and the outside of the restaurant looked quite run down. Fortunately, Domina and anthony arrived shortly thereafter. It was so great seeing them and finally being able to put faces to names. They are a cute couple- Domina is effervescent, bubbly and bright. anthony is a bit shy and reserved, and has a sweet smile. The restaurant turned out far better than expected. The inside was quite nice and the food was delicious and inexpensive.

We initially talked more about our lives. The conversation at this point was very vanilla, but even so it was nice to finally feel that I could be free and let my guard down around someone else. D/s has become quite a bit of who we are, and it is difficult to have something you feel so strongly about that you cannot share with anyone other than your partner. The best analogy I can give is spending time with Grandma. When you go to see Grandma, there are things you cannot do or say, simply because she cannot handle them (or at least my Grandma couldn't). Therefore the entire time you spend with Grandma you are never really quite yourself since you are censoring your words and editing them as you say them lest Grandma think you are anything less than perfect. This analogy, while a bit long-winded, describes how I feel when spending time with our vanilla friends. I can never fully relax and be myself.

Talking with Domina and anthony was like talking with old friends. There were never any gaps in the conversation, it just flowed freely. It was nice to see anthony opening up more as the night went on and he became more comfortable. Time seemed to fly by, and gradually the restaurant emptied until it was just our table sitting next to the kitchen help. I really did not want the evening to end, and we agreed to go get drinks and dessert. By this time we all seemed to be a bit more relaxed and the conversation seemed to drift towards our relationships and fetishes. anthony, when he does speak, is very profound. I remember listening to him thinking "Wow, I really need to remember that line, that's great." Domina just makes me smile. I love how she would pull things out of anthony, sharing bits of themselves and their desires. At one point they referred to who outfreaked who. This reference was followed shortly thereafter by anthony asking j about urethral sounds and how the heck they worked (with a horrified look on his face)! So maybe we won the outfreak battle, but I am not so sure we will win the war!

It wasn't until after 1 a.m. that we called it a night. I normally would have fallen asleep in the car on the ride home, but instead talked with j about how our evening went. We both agreed it went as well as it possibly could have. I am looking forward to getting together with Domina and anthony again soon. I can even see shopping and spending time with Domina on one of her nights away from anthony. Girls time is always good, especially when we can bounce ideas off each other! Thank you, Domina and anthony, for a wonderful evening. Hope it is the first of many to come.