It's difficult maintaining a D/s relationship when you are married to your partner. Really, any high level of sexual intimacy is difficult to maintain over an extended period of time, but I think this is especially true for D/s. This is partly due to the amount of time involved in a good D/s session. In the vanilla world, a good sexual encounter involves a nice dinner, some wine, a little foreplay, and then intercourse. Ultimately, two hours, tops! But a good D/s session usually involves significantly more time and more planning. When life is quiet, and things are status quo, sh (submissive hubby) and I have plenty of time to focus on D/s, but when things get hectic and life gets crazy, it is often the first thing to be pushed aside.
While the feelings remain, and I know we both have the desire to continue to cultivate that aspect of our relationship, both time and energy levels make it difficult. I find it interesting, though, that during these times where our encounters are few and far between, I fantasize like crazy! The lack of intimacy leaves me thinking about great scenes from the past, and fantasizing about possible ones in the future. Anything can get my going- the gleam from the light hitting the tiny bit of his collar that shows above his shirt, watching him get out of the shower in the morning (naked and freshly shaved), feeling his fingers run through my hair as I work. The lack of intimacy is making all the little things so much more intense!
I know I can't hold out much longer- the desire to take him is strong, and I know that I need to reinforce my Dominance lest he become complacent in his responsibilities. Which brings me to my next post...planning a scene!
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