j and I lead what I believe is about as close to 24/7 D/s as a married couple, each with their own career, can lead. My control is a constant in our marriage, but sometimes real life gets in the way.
What do I mean by real life? Sometimes vanilla problems interfere with D/s bliss. A recent example of this was a nasty allergy attack (or cold - I'm still not certain which it was). I barely felt like getting out of bed, much less making decisions or Dominating j in any way. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up, sleep and maybe read.
In the past, I would have tried to maintain my Dominant role. I would have been bitchy and nasty, and refused to admit that I was sick and vulnerable. It really does require quite a bit of energy and focus to be Dominant. Don't get me wrong; I love every minute of it, but making every decision for the household can take a lot out of someone.
The problem with always being Dominant is it is tough to relinquish control to others. What I have learned, over time, is that a good Domme knows when to hand over the reigns temporarily. And a good submissive can carry on, continue to serve and be ready to submit again when that time comes.
You are a true inspiration..and a trendsetter,
ReplyDeleteThank you, alan, for your comments.
ReplyDeleteI sympathize and have faced the same problem, most recently last Xmas when I really felt bad after having a tooth removed Xmas Eve. Feeling worse because I was unable to maintain Xmas holiday promises of play, I dressed my sub "nurse" in something pretty and feminine:
ReplyDeletehttp://mistress160.blogspot.com/2010/12/ms160s-xmas-nurse.html
This kept him happy and in the right D/s mindset and meant I was also looked after... the only problem was every time I saw him I laughed, which hurt even more!
It is very time consuming to be the dominant partner in a marriage. It is a responsibility I would never trade though. And yes, life does happen! Part of being a submissive serving the Domme, is knowing (or being instructed) to take responsibility around the house. Plus having a child in the house also takes priority over all, and does put a damper on certain activities that can potentially become noisy!
ReplyDeleteI do so love the solution Mistress160 devised! I am so going to use this idea with a few twists of my own! Thanks!!!
I'm sorry to say that our real life Femdom has become nonexistent. My wife just ran out of patience to scene with all of life's curveballs. We keep it strictly in the bedroom now.
ReplyDeleteMa'am
ReplyDeleteyou are a great example and inspiration for countless others. how happy are both wife and husband in wife led relationship, its natural and perfect,how i wish could live life serving my queen.