Gone but Not Forgotten

It has been a long couple of weeks, and I apologize for not posting. j and I went on a family vacation, which was wonderful. I wish I could say that it afforded us more time for our D/s pleasures, but that was definitely not the case. We dedicated much of our time to our children and bonding as a family.

When we returned, j had a doctors appointment. It was supposed to be just a blood pressure check, but he saw a different doctor who wanted to examine him. He said that he sat there for a few minutes contemplating how he would respond if the doctor asked him to remove his pants (and therefore discovered him wearing panties). He decided that the best way to handle it was to approach it head-on. If the doctor saw and said anything, j was prepared to explain to him just why he was wearing my panties. Behavior like that makes me proud of him. It would have been easy to simply say that we ran out of clean underwear and he grabbed a pair of mine, or that he wore them by mistake. Fortunately for him, he was not asked to remove his pants. On a side note, j really hates going to see the doctor. When he goes, however, I experience a couple different emotions. I worry (because I love him dearly, and want him to be with me for many years to come). I also become a bit aroused. I like thinking about him, sitting on an examining table, completely vulnerable. I like knowing that it makes him feel uncomfortable. I have not shared these feelings with him (though obviously he will know now), and have always thought it a bit odd that I feel this way. Upon some reflection though, I think it is like imagining him with another Mistress. He is in a position where he is partially clothed, essentially forced to do whatever is asked of him, vulnerable and open.

During our time away, I felt that our level of intimacy was low, but j told me that he felt we had maintained a good level of intimacy, especially considering the circumstances. I think he is right. Thinking about our last couple of weeks, I have grabbed and pinched his nipples many times, smacked his ass quite a bit, enjoyed a shower with him as he washed my body and my hair, gotten a pedicure, slapped his balls many times, been brought to orgasm several times, watched him masturbate for me, and allowed him to make love to me. I think since our encounters have been limited and we have not had time to really spend an evening (or more than a few minutes even) alone, it makes me feel like our levels of Dominance and submission have waned. I am hoping to take care of that soon!