Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sexy Is a State of Mind

I wonder how many women do not embrace their sexuality because they are self-conscious. Women are programmed from such a young age to believe that there is one set of ideal attributes, and any variations from that ideal are not desirable. Don't believe me? Grab a Cosmo and you can see it. The women all look very similar - tall, thin, unusually large breasts given their lack of body fat, perfect skin, luscious and full lips, flowing hair. This flawless representation makes women feel less than confident. How can most women compete? It is no wonder that so many women feel ill-at-ease with their bodies.

I have come to the conclusion that sexy is more of a state of mind than a set of physical attributes. To be sexy, one doesn't need to wear a short skirt or revealing clothes, one doesn't need to show skin or be a model. To be sexy, one needs to be confident and passionate.

I have a coworker who is beautiful by anyone's standards. She always looks great, no matter what the circumstances, and in addition she is caring and kind. Sadly, it seems as if she is oblivious to her own beauty. Minor problems, like a tiny pimple, make her feel terrible about herself. She has confessed that she feels that people stare at her 'big ass'. She acknowledges and is proud of her professional accomplishments, but she cannot seem to come to term with who she is physically. She has a beautiful exterior, and yet she is self-conscious. And because of this, even though she is beautiful, she really is not very sexy. No surprise that she regularly complains about her sex-life.

To her and women like her I say... be proud of who you are, be beautiful, be confident, don't be afraid to shake your booty or grab your man by the balls. If you want him to go down on you, tell him! If he doesn't do it right, tell him that too. Demand satisfaction, don't settle for less. Share your fantasies, and make them come true.

Here's to being sexy AND self-confident!

5 comments:

  1. U r close, but i would add this:
    1)Self-consciousness as defined as an introspective state, in which we r examining and evaluating ourselves i.e. our identity, feelings, emotions, drives, values, etc. Call it the private kind.

    2)Self-consciousness as defined as a state in which we r dominated and determined by how we think that others see, judge, and evaluate us. Call it the public kind.

    While the private kind mostly is empowering us, the public one brings us anxiety, low self-esteem, cloning behavior, and other damaging stuff.

    Btw, it's one way to find out if a woman is dominant or not, as femdoms never suffer from public self-consciousness, and r brilliant when in the introspective state :)

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  2. You are so right. Often, the most beautiful women have very poor self images. Even the perfect model has a horrible life, plastic implants, starvation, etc. That is not sexy. Society, TV ads, damage the self-esteem of women to sell their products. I wish more women had your confidence, mostly for their well being, but also to make their lives more fun.

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  3. Great post. Although it may be a cliche, the most important sex organ is between one's ears. I am in hog heaven when my Suzy is confident about what she wants and not afraid to verbalize it. It is very exciting to me when she critiques/corrects what I am doing to pleasure her and she determines what sort of stimulation I will receive from her. That confidence is way sexier than any Victoria Secret outfit!

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  4. Ayesha- True, being self-conscious (meaning self-aware) is a good thing, and something I see in many Dommes. Sadly, I feel more women are the other self-conscious.

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  5. joeyred51 and lovetosubmit- These unrealistic images pervade our society, and so many seem to fall into thinking that if they do not look the same there is something wrong with them. True confidence is sexier any day of the week!

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