How I Became the Domme I Am

I fully recognized my sexual Dominance about 8 years ago at the age of 27. Although I have posted about this before, I will share the story again as I realize I have quite a few new readers. When my husband and I first met, our sex life was fantastic. We made love several times a day and made quite the sport out of sex... challenging each other to different positions or more and more times a day. But soon, as is often the case, the passion died down. We experienced long lulls where sex was nonexistent. We would embrace and cuddle, but rarely anything more. I became concerned because j would never initiate sex. The more I tried to talk to him about it, the bigger an issue it became until one night, in the heat of the moment, he said he needed me to take control.

Shortly thereafter, I dragged him to the bookstore, grabbed the raunchiest BDSM book I could find, opened to a page with a picture of a man, hogtied and bound with a ball gag in his mouth and said, “Is this what you want?” His eyes grew large and he told me no, that was not what he had in mind... he just wanted me to initiate and control the sex. Too late though- because it was what I wanted. I took to D/s like a duck to water... if only I had known it would be so easy! And within a very short period of time, j was so grateful for having this new Dominant authority in his life.

Even though I did not discover my sexual Dominance until 27, when I look back on my life there were many signs I was Dominant from the start. One of my strongest memories is of wrestling a teenage boyfriend. This was a regular activity for us... get together, hang out, play video games and then wrestle. He was bigger and stronger than me and could easily take me down but I didn’t play fair at all. I would scratch, pull hair, bite, slap... and become incredibly sexually exhilarated. When he would yelp in pain, I would giggle and feel a rush. When I finally had him pinned beneath me, my adrenaline and passion surged to a high.

I have other memories, such as telling my mother, “I am my own person, I am my own self, and I will NOT clean my room.” This, at five years old. I liked to take control of most situations, not through belligerence or brattiness but rather through sheer assertiveness.

I dated men who enjoyed pleasing women. They treated me very well and were sensitive to my needs. The men I chose to date were far more concerned about my satisfaction than their own, and in all honesty I expected this. I scoffed at friends who complained about their crappy relationships and wondered why they would settle for anything less than a good man. I held my boyfriends to the fire. I wasn’t a bitch, but I expected accountability.

I wasn’t willing to settle for being treated like anything less than a queen. Because I refused to settle for less, that is what I received... so it is no surprise that the transition to sexual Dominant was easy. It was just taking my control and applying it to yet another area of my life. I have never looked back!