It's 6:30 Christmas night and I'm stewing on the anger I have felt inside me all day. I kept it bottled up most of the day so I could enjoy time with my children. I am happy to report they had a wonderful day, and Santa brought them all kinds of great toys. I am, however, very upset that j did not get me ANYTHING for Christmas.
Money has been tight this year, due to the crappy economy, so I wasn't really expecting anything big. But I cannot begin to express how hurt I am that he didn't care enough to get me anything. I got him a $50 itunes gift card. I know, it's not exactly the most thoughtful gift, but he loves music and is always wanting to download more. I know many times he resists buying an album, and now he will be able to get what he wants, at least for a while.
At first, I wasn't even that upset that he didn't get me anything. But the more I thought about it, the more disappointed I became. Here is the man who supposedly adores and worships me, and yet he can't get to the store to get me anything? It really hurts, and makes me feel like I am disillusioned about a lot of things, including how he truly feels about me. I am starting to wonder if his submission to me is more about sex than it is about love, and that really hurts.
He was supposed to spend the entire week with me, but that hasn't happened. He worked last weekend, all week long, and will work again tomorrow. He is trying to keep his business afloat, and I appreciate that (really- I do), but where do I fit in? Is it no longer important to try and keep our marriage afloat?
Part of me wonders if I am making too much out of this, but I really don't think I am. We NEVER said that we weren't going to get each other anything, so that wasn't the issue. I don't know. The whole thing sucks. I would love to hear that opinions of any of my readers. Has this ever happened to you? Did you ever not get your wife/girlfriend something for Christmas?
Hope everyone is having a very Merry Christmas! Now putting my smiley face back on to enjoy the evening with my kids.
Greetings,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your Christmas was not what you thought it would be. It is difficult to understand how someone who worship's another can't get a gift, but it does happen. Try not to dwell on it and enjoy the other aspects of Christmas; Christmas truly isn't about gifts, but rather a spirit.
Hope your evening goes better.
Peace and love,
slave isabelle owned and collared by Sir Rick
Isabelle,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I'm doing my best not to dwell on my disappointment. After all, aside from that it has been a great day. I am blessed with many things in my life, and j is one of those things. But I do feel let down. As I told him, he could have picked me up a book and that would have been awesome! I think he got so wrapped up in trying to find the perfect gift that he gave up altogether. Grr!!
Thanks again for your thoughts- you are right!
I know what it is to be broke and desperate to keep something afloat. But, I also know what it takes to put a smile on your lovers face. There are many different ways to arrange for a gift for your partner, and many of them don't call for any or much money. He could have created his own gift for you which would have only cost him time. But he should have been thoughtful enough to make sure that there was something for you to open on Christmas. I don't by the cop-out that "there is no money" to get anything-been there, done that. I would rethink your position in the relationship, because obviously, he doesn't have the level of feelings that you thought he did.
ReplyDeleteGirl,
ReplyDeleteIt hapened to me 2 years ago. I got her diamond earings (because I knew she wanted them and money was no problem) and I ended up with a pair of socks
It is not about the value of the gift nor the price, but the interest you pun on it. It could have been my favorite cake, and would have been better than a pair of socks...
I agree with Charlie... rethink your relationship and openly speak about it, before is too late.
I almost got divorced due to that trigger
Having no money for a gift is not a good excuse, but having no time because he is trying to keep his business going is somewhat ligitimate.
ReplyDelete"He could have created his own gift for you which would have only cost him time."
sums up exactly what he doesn't have... time.
"I think he got so wrapped up in trying to find the perfect gift that he gave up"
Giving the perfect gift is a hard thing for males to get a handle on. Frankly, we are much more at ease when we have plenty of cash because there is always some lovely bauble that will fill the bill. To get the perfect gift with no money is tough. Also, most of us males have been severly criticized at one point or another for "Not puttng any thought into it." Nothing makes buying gifts harder than fear that you are "not getting it right."
That said, nothing is more wrong than not getting you anything.
I would advise talking to him about it, but I wouldn't necessarily assume that his failure to produce a gift is a direct result of his having a lack of interest in you or your relationship.