It's Shocking!

When j and I recently went over our list of D/s interests, one of the interests he expressed was electrical stimulation. he had mentioned it in the past, but we had never done anything about it. Being unfamiliar with e-stim, I took to the internet. Unlike some of the areas of D/s, there was not a whole lot out there about electrical stimulation, but what I did find intrigued me and I decided to add it to our D/s repertoire.

Today I received a packing containing (amongst other things) a Rimba electrical stimulation device. I decided I would use it on myself before using it on j. As much as possible I try and do this, since I think it is important for a Domme to be aware of the sensations she is producing/inflicting. The Rimba itself is very plain looking. It's pretty much just a black box with some knobs on it. It came with some clamps as well as electrode pads. In addition to the Rimba TENS unit, I had ordered some electrode conductive gel as well as a Dual Contact Electro Penis Strap (now doesn't that sound intimidating?!).

The directions that came with it not very helpful, but the Rimba website online had some pretty good information. I must admit I was pretty nervous, and I decided that for safety's sake I would try it on my leg first. I put two of the pads on my lower leg. Slowly I began to turn up the intensity. Initially I felt.... nothing. But as I got the intensity higher I felt a gentle tingling. As I turned the knob even higher, the sensation became stronger and went from tingling to a tapping sensation. Oddly, it does not feel that the sensation is coming from the skin but rather from deeper within the body. It is tough to describe! It does not feel in the least bit electrical. There is no shock sensation, or zapping, or anything like that.

Since the experiment on my leg went well, I decided to try it in a more intimate area. I really wasn't prepared for this! Had I known it was going to feel so good I probably would have gotten the electro dildo (which also sounds terrifying). I knew I couldn't put the pad on my clit as it is important for the pad to have complete contact or zapping sensations can occur, and I certainly do not want my clit to be zapped!! I put one pad on each side of my labia, touching the base of my clit at the bottom. I started the Rimba up, and at a much lower intensity than on my leg I could feel the pulsing sensations. It is so hard to describe how it feels, except to say that I immediately became very wet. I played with the settings on the Rimba unit, and the sensations changed significantly. At one point I went to turn it down and accidently turned it in the opposite direction. I nearly jumped off the bed!

After playing with the Rimba for a while, I was so aroused. It was slightly frustrating as the stimulation could take me right to the edge of an orgasm, but not quite there completely. Nonetheless, a few taps on my clit and I was over the edge, moaning and writhing on the bed.

I cannot wait to use the Rimba on j and watch his reaction to it. For anyone who has not yet tried electrical stimulation, it is definitely worth it!

Scent Of A Woman

Sometimes when I am teasing j I like to restrain him, put a blindfold on him and put earplugs in his ears. Cutting off some of his senses seems to intensify his other senses, specifically touch. When I first started doing this, my thoughts were to intensify the teasing I was giving him, taking him close to orgasm and then denying him. I have also toyed with hot and cold this way and get very strong reactions from him. Oddly enough, I had never considered appealing to his sense of smell, either when he was restrained like this or in normal, day to day life.

I have never been much of a perfume wearer. I put some on from time to time, when we go out for the evening or a special occasion, but not a day to day thing. But I am wondering if I should change that. The interesting thing about scent is that it lingers and affects all around it. I am not talking about bathing in perfume and reeking, but rather the soft scent that follows a woman wearing a particularly nice perfume. In this way, I could be touching j even when I was not in direct contact with him.

I wonder why I haven't thought of this sooner, since scents affect me strongly. I love pulling out our leather items and pressing them to my nose, deeply inhaling the scent that I associate both with looking sexy and our D/s love.

Setting Goals & Thoughts On Switching Roles

There are a lot of changes going on in our lives. It does seem, however, that a good amount of our time has been freed up. In fact, we have spent the past couple of weekends doing... nothing. Sure, we did some shopping, and had dinner with my sister and her family, but overall the time has been spent sitting around the house like vegetables. So, it is time to regroup.

I have decided to set a few goals for myself, kind of like mid-year resolutions if you will. I have the standard goals: lose weight, exercise more, save more money... then I have some non-traditional goals: make more private time for j and I, enjoy my sexuality more, be more open, and finally, blog more.

I get this feeling from time to time, a feeling of wanting to clean things up in my life. Change the things I do not like, make the things I do like even better. It feels good, it feels refreshing, it feels invigorating.

Seems that I am not the only one looking for a change... Domina and anthony (from The Path Least Chosen) are seeking to switch roles, at least temporarily. Domina wrote a very heartfelt post regarding this, and I can understand where she is coming from. It is hard to be always on, always in control. At times it even feels monotonous. Around here, I struggle with having to make all of the decisions. j cannot make even minor decisions on his own and always comes to me to choose. 95 percent of the time I am fine with it, but it does get old.

Sexually though, I would have a difficult time being submissive. I am not sure if that is because of my partner or just who I am. Imagining j being dominant in the bedroom is almost laughable. He is not a wimpy man or anything like that, he is just extremely careful about approaching me sexually. I could never see him just having his way with me. About a year ago I gave him the opportunity to try. Like Domina, I just wanted to be taken. It didn't happen. In fact, nothing happened. After reading Domina's post this morning, I asked him about that time. He said that he just did not feel comfortable taking control in the bedroom, and he would never be able to dominate me there or even outside of the bedroom. And, after he read Domina's post later, he looked over and said that he is afraid of what I would do to him if he ever dared slap me in the face (as well he should be!!!)

Do I understand the desire to switch, to change things up from time to time? Sure! Is it for me? Nope. Just like urethral sounds aren't for my wonderful friends Domina and anthony. I guess that is the great thing about Dominance and submission... it is what you make of it, and as long as no one gets hurt, it's all good!

Would A Stranger Ever Guess?

j and I frequently remark about people we encounter who seem to have very Dominant or submissive personalities. It was something we really never noticed until we started delving into the lifestyle ourselves, but ever since it seems that some people stick out like sore thumbs. I was wondering today, would an outsider guess our 'secret?'

If a stranger were to meet us separately, the answer would be a resounding no! Aside from the fact that my clothes are mostly black, and I am usually wearing heels of some sort, there would be very little clue. I tend to be a little introverted when dealing with strangers. I am observant, and I like to read people. I do not think I come across as an overly Dominant woman....until people get to know me! People who know me well see that side of me that likes to be in control of every situation, and whose eyes flash with anger when I am crossed.

As for j, he is the opposite. His personality is affable and light, warm and personable. He is the life of the party, and I swear he has never met a stranger that he did not like! And truly, that is the way he is with both new friends and old. He does not give off even a hint of subservience. He is a natural leader!

But when we are together... the interplay between my Dominance and his submission is quite obvious. For two people who are 'in the closet' so to speak, we do not hide the nature of our relationship. He refers to me as his queen, his beauty, he waits on me hand and foot. He rubs my back, opens the car door for me, and submits to me in any way I desire. He asks me before he spends money, and when making any decisions, he tells others that he has to ask 'the boss' first. I expect these acts of obedience from him. When he slacks off (and he does from time to time), I am right there, reinforcing my Dominance over him. A new development...if he does something wrong, he comes to me and asks me to slap his face. It started out as a joke, but has become a meaningful, if brief, punishment for his errors. It is more about the act than any pain, as I am careful to never smack him too hard....okay, mostly. ;)

It is an interesting dichotomy: apart, few would suspect my Dominance or j's submission, but together some degree of the nature of our relationship is apparent. I know my control and dominance makes j the loving submissive that he is, and he makes me the Dominant queen that I am!

Steamy Dreams

I have always had very vivid dreams, and the past few nights my dreams have focused almost entirely on D/s activities. Most of my dreams have focused on things that j and I have done before, but I must admit there were a few surprises. I do not know how much dreams indicate real desires, but if that is the case, my subconscious is sending me a flurry of messages. Some of these dreams have focused on more of a small group experience... watching another Dominant woman with her sub, feeling aroused beyond belief just by watching their interchange. That particular dream was nothing short of heady, an almost intoxicating experience (if a dream could be described like that). I woke up on the edge of orgasm, and quickly closed my eyes, hoping my dream would still be there.

Another dream involved j, being naked and bound before me, his body quivering in anticipation. My fingers lightly traced across his body, and I smiled, enjoying the musculature of his back as he strained against his bonds. I spoke to him softly but firmly, telling him that he would be mine forever. I wore a strap-on cock, and pulled his head up by his hair, telling him to suck my cock. He sucked me as if he was starving and my cock was the last food on earth, and as he did, I pushed my hips forward so that the strap-on rubbed against my clit. Then (and remember, this is a dream here!), from out of nowhere he was attached to a fucking machine. His ass was being fucked as he sucked my cock. If he leaned forward, more of my cock went in his mouth. If he leaned backwards, more of the cock went in his ass. His rock hard erection showed me that he was enjoying himself as much as I was. I bucked against him, forcing more of the cock in him, until I came. j, on the other hand, was not allowed to cum, and his desire was so great that he was literally screaming from want.

These are but two examples of these intense dreams. I do not know where they are coming from, but they are welcome to stay as they are giving me plenty of ideas!

Shopping Fun!

Today has been an unplanned day at home for me. My daughter was sick over the weekend, and while she is doing better today, she is not quite well enough for camp. It seems that free time gets my mind wandering to all things sexual! Well, that and my dreams of late. Seems the D/s has entered into the dream realm, waking me up wet and wanting (pardon the alliteration).

For a while I contemplated how to spend the day. Truthfully, I should have done some cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. But shopping for some bondage equipment, toys and lingerie sounded far more exciting!

My followers may remember that my favorite store has closed down. It was really heartbreaking since it seemed to be the best store on the east coast that catered to D/s fun. Still, online shopping has its perks. I can sit in my pajamas and fantasize while I shop. Both Stockroom and Extreme Restraints have added quite a selection in recent months. I have several items in mind, but do not want to post here because I like to surprise j. Needless to say, we will be trying a few new things soon!

Reflections

Some time ago j posted in his blog about housework as a gift. At the time, I probably did not give his post the attention and reflection that it deserved. The truth is, j does a lot for me, both around the house and in general. Yes, he is my sub, and as such there are things that I require of him, but even before we were into D/s, he was very attentive.

j is a fantastic father, treating all of our children (including my three from a previous marriage) as his own. he cares deeply for them, and though he sometimes becomes frustrated with them, he is supportive and always willing to go the extra mile for them. he takes our daughter to girl scouts and gymnastics whenever I ask him to (and often times without me asking).

j does the laundry, including washing my panties by hand. This task had been part of a punishment that was given to him but he loves doing it and I love watching him wash my panties with such care. he makes dinner, does the dishes, takes out the garbage... most of these things he does without me ever mentioning them.

j does so many things for me, but where he really shines is in the bedroom. he becomes so aroused simply by pleasing me, hearing me moan and orgasm. he is always ready and willing for me to take him to new heights in submission, and accepts that I will always keep his safety and best interests in mind.

The truth is, that just as I did not give his post on housework as a gift the attention it deserved, sometimes I do not give j the attention that he deserves. I am blessed beyond compare, not just with an incredible submissive but with an incredible man.

I am not perfect, and sometimes I am downright irritating. But never, ever has j made me feel bad about myself, my moods or who I am. Tonight I am thankful for what God has given me. Tomorrow he goes back to being my sexy little bitch!