Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

Last night, while j was having to work late, I instructed him to post to his blog. Considering that his role in much of the work he was doing was supervisory, I knew he would have time on his hands. Also, I assumed that since I had put his anklets back on, he might be feeling more submissive again.

I was more than a little disappointed when I read his post. His post was full of complaints about how busy life has been, and how the general chaos of life's events had prevented him from feeling submissive.

Just a few hours prior to him posting, I had put his anklets back on. I had also told him that our friends (who are also involved in the lifestyle) would be visiting on Saturday. His post did not touch on any of this. Honestly, I just felt confused. How could I be feeling so Dominant, and yet he not be feeling submissive? We have been in the lifestyle for a good length of time now, and for the most part, the more Dominant I am the more submissive he becomes (and vice versa).

I went to bed last night rather vexed. I shared my feelings with j before going to bed, but felt that if I slept on it I would feel better in the morning. I woke up this morning and for a few seconds it was like any other morning, and then- as if slapped in the face- I remembered his post. It had bugged me so much that I was still upset the next morning. We talked a bit about it before we went to work this morning, and some things were resolved.

I know that j was/is frustrated because he has been working long hours and has extra responsibilities. But I am entering a new profession entirely, and am working and going to school as well to get my Masters degree. Yes, he has a lot on him, but so do I! And if I can have a lot on me and still feel Dominant, why can't he have a lot on him and still feel submissive?

I must say that now, almost 24 hours later, I am feeling better. I know that j is struggling with everything that is going on in his life right now, and he is doing the best that he can to be the best husband he can to me. I reread his post today, for the third time. Part of his post was about how I had recently removed his cuffs for a few days because we would be visiting with family. He wrote:

"i noticed immediately the lightness of my feet and legs. i knew deep inside i felt incomplete. Sometimes it's really frustrating to have to put on these "masks" for other people."

While his post was not what I would have hoped for, these three sentences fill me with a lot of hope.