Domination Goes Mainstream

I was listening to a football game in the car the other day when I heard a commercial that caught my attention. The commercial was for the Fox cartoon lineup (Simpsons, Family Guy, etc). It began with a woman speaking in a sultry voice saying, "I know you want to be dominated." She continues, "It feels so good to submit." At the end of the conversation, the voice says something about the safe word being animation (I think that is what it was, but I was so shocked by this commercial, I may have heard the wrong safe word!)

I love when I hear things like this. I like that others are becoming familiar with BDSM. Even though many of the references to BDSM are silly or over the top, I do think that it increases awareness and acceptance of people who love differently, as we do. While considering this post, I came across a great website, Welcome to Master Kelly.com, which gives examples of tv references to BDSM presently as well as historically. It is an impressive list, and while I was aware of some of the references, quite a few were new to me. He breaks the list up by decades, going back as far as the 60's! Definitely worth checking out!

A Little More Satisfaction

Oddly enough, j and I rarely have sexual intercourse. There are many reasons for this, one of which is that I keep j so on the edge sexually that intercourse is generally over very quickly. Also, I like playing with j, teasing him, tempting him and I have more control when he is not inside of me.

Nonetheless, every now and then I just want to fuck. I had been teasing j for days through texts and little comments, as well as flashing him on occasion. I knew that had I allowed him inside of me, it would end quickly. Fortunately, we have some prescription numbing cream that is very effective in allowing our lovemaking to be quite prolonged.

I had j lick me for quite a long time, and each time I came it seemed that the orgasm was stronger than the previous one. But even though I was immensely enjoying his tongue, I really wanted to fuck! And fuck we did! With the help of the numbing cream, he felt very little, and I went to town on him. I rode him for a long time, and came so hard I scraped my fingernails down his chest, drawing a bit of blood. It was good, it was great, it was freaking mindblowing!

When we finished (after several position changes), we snuggled for a while, dozing in each other's arms. And while it may not have been our typical D/s sex, it was powerful and loving.

It was a wonderful release, and quite refreshing at the end of a long weekend.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

I'm a pretty understanding person. I understand that sometimes things happen beyond our control. But it is difficult to be understanding when things like this happen... a lot.

We were all set to have dinner with Domina and anthony tonight. By all set, I mean that j and I had taken our daughter to her grandmother's house for the weekend (3 hours away), j had gotten everything for dinner together, we had arranged to have our dogs elsewhere for the evening, the house had been picked up. j had texted and called anthony around noon and did not get a response. Around 2 pm, he got a phone call from anthony saying that he and Domina would not be coming. Something had come up with his kids, and he would not be able to make it.

I was in the bedroom, getting ready, when j came in. He said to me, "You know, we need to find new friends. D and a will not be coming tonight." He went on to explain that a had called, and that something was going on with his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids.

This should not have come as a surprise to me. As you may remember, two weekends ago, right in the middle of a great dinner, Domina and anthony had to leave unexpectedly when he had to go pick up his daughter. j and I were quite disappointed, but at the same time understanding. We have both been divorced, and we have kids. We know that sometimes things come up.

It was their idea to get together this weekend to try things again. It was a great idea- it required a little finagling on our part to make arrangements for our daughter, but we felt that their company was worth it.

Right now I don't know what to say. It's mid-afternoon, and we live in a rural area so it's not like we can pick up and go to a nice dinner or a movie and make the best of a bad situation. Yes, we could be intimate, but as angry as I am right now I might take it out on j.

This whole thing makes me sad. I am, and have always been, a giving person. I think nothing of being their for my friends when they need me, and when Domina and anthony were having a rough time, I did everything I could to help them both. I talked/emailed/texted Domina for hours on end. I met with both of them and tried to help them reconcile.

Even after it seemed their relationship was drifting back towards "Vanillaville," I wanted to remain friends with Domina. As I have posted before, she is the type of person I would like to be friends with even if we did not share the common bond of being Dommes. The fact that we do is the icing on the cake.

j and I were both excited when it seemed that the D/s passion was back between them. We were happy for them, and happy for ourselves as well, since we had first met as a D/s couple seeking another D/s couple for friendship. And while part of me wants to just let the disappointment go and move on, I do not know if I can.

To their credit, they did try to shift things around to come out for a short time. But it seemed pointless, since they would be driving quite a bit for a short amount of time here, and really the offer to do that only came up after I got upset about them cancelling on us.

So here I am, dressed up and looking quite hot, and feeling not too unlike how I did two weeks ago when they left in the midst of a fantastic dinner to attend to a crisis. I really like both of them, j and I love spending time with them, but if their lives are in so much turmoil that they cannot keep their plans (or at least give a reasonable amount of notice), I am not sure that it is beneficial to continue on.

I Love Me

I love being a woman.
I love that I look sexy in heels.
I love putting on lipstick every morning.
I love spending time with my children.
I love playing Rock Band and Guitar Hero.
I love spanking my submissive.
I love taking a bubble bath.
I love the smell outside after it rains.
I love having my pussy licked.
I love watching silly cartoons.
I love laughing.
I love putting on warm clothes after I have been swimming
I love catching up with old friends.
I love my family.
I love taking j to the brink, and then not letting him get off.
I love going to the beach.
I love curling up on the couch.
I love being in control.
I love the smell of pumpkin pie.
I love wearing a strap-on.
I love my job.
I love playing games with my kids.
I love masturbating.
I love tickling j.
I love going on vacation.
I love a good glass of wine.
I love torturing j's balls.
I love me.

The Difference Between Being Dominant and Domineering

I think sometimes people confuse being Dominant with being Domineering. There is a big difference between the two. As a Dominant woman, I am assertive and powerful. I am not afraid to express my needs, and I expect that my submissive will be willing to put me first and foremost in his life. On the other hand, I always, always consider the needs of my sub. I keep his best interests in mind, and my actions reflect that.

People who are domineering bully others into getting their way. They scream, fuss, bark orders, throw fits, and push people around. In general, they are angry people. They don't consider the needs of those around them, but rather focus on their own needs wholeheartedly.

When I ask j to do something, I expect that he will do it, and he rarely disappoints me. I don't need to scream my orders, or whine about them. Rather, I simply tell him what I need from him. I am willing to occasionally make sacrifices for j, and I do that without regret. I laugh a lot- I enjoy life! And at the end of the night, I wrap my arms around my naked sub and feel blessed. And that is that this lifestyle is all about!

Yowzah!!

I was blessed today with some alone time with j. I decided to play with our Rimba electrosex unit a bit. I really like the feeling of control that it gives me, and it excites me to be able to straddle the line that separates pleasure from pain. By turning the knobs on the unit, I take j to a level of pleasure that is almost unfathomable- and then by turning them just a bit more his pleasure turns to pain.

But for today, it was all about pleasure for j- well, at least for a while!

With the electrodes strapped around his cock, I began turning the knobs on the Rimba. As the sensations overcame his body, he began to purr in pleasure. I sat between his outstretched legs and rubbed his asshole, slowly inserting my finger and applying pressure to his prostate. I then turned the Rimba up, very slowly, teasing him with the control I had over his body.

As I got closer to that extreme pleasure/pain threshold, his moans went from sporadic outburts to a continuous groan of pleasure. His hips lifted off the bed, and he asked me if I would allow him to cum. I allowed him, and his orgasm was extremely powerful.

Of course, I wasn't quite done with him yet! I got out my Wartenburg pinwheel and began scrolling it over his body. I ran it over his legs, his cock and balls, his stomach, chest and nipples. he kept jumping and yelping, reminding me of the little bitch that he is. Honestly, it is not that painful- more of a prickling/tickling sensation, but it makes him jump and I think he is afraid that I have the power to hurt him.

After coming down from his high, he gave me three very strong orgasms. I think he was surprised, when I allowed him to touch me, by how wet I was. I really do get off having control over his body, having the power to grant or deny him an orgasm at my whim.

Recap of a Great Evening with Friends

Last night our good friends Domina and anthony came out to see us. They thoughtfully made the drive to us, coming about an hour and a half, since we had both had crazy weeks here. It was great seeing them again! As usual, they both looked very nice, and Domina confessed that they barely made it to us without having to stop for a make-out session on the way. And while I did not confess it last night, j and I spent pretty much the entire day making out off and on. Seems that knowing we were going to be getting together with D and a got us both going!

While our night ended prematurely with a bit of a crisis involving one of anthony's children, a good time was had by all. I cannot being to describe how freeing it is to be able to be yourself completely, and know that you don't need to censor anything. We talked about so many things- from relationships and D/s, to food and Disney rides (yes, seriously!). I think I have written this before, but the great thing about Domina and anthony is that these are people I would choose to hang out with even if they were in a vanilla relationship- the fact that they share our D/s desires is the icing on the cake!

Even though the night was cut short, we are already planning our next get together. Domina posted on her blog this morning that the time we spend together brings up new conversations between her and anthony. I feel the same way. For us, it has been this way ever since we had our first chat online. Their relationship has spawned many ideas (for instance, j wearing panties every day is a direct result of anthony doing the same). I am sure that the more we get to know one another, the more our respective relationships will be enhanced.

Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

Last night, while j was having to work late, I instructed him to post to his blog. Considering that his role in much of the work he was doing was supervisory, I knew he would have time on his hands. Also, I assumed that since I had put his anklets back on, he might be feeling more submissive again.

I was more than a little disappointed when I read his post. His post was full of complaints about how busy life has been, and how the general chaos of life's events had prevented him from feeling submissive.

Just a few hours prior to him posting, I had put his anklets back on. I had also told him that our friends (who are also involved in the lifestyle) would be visiting on Saturday. His post did not touch on any of this. Honestly, I just felt confused. How could I be feeling so Dominant, and yet he not be feeling submissive? We have been in the lifestyle for a good length of time now, and for the most part, the more Dominant I am the more submissive he becomes (and vice versa).

I went to bed last night rather vexed. I shared my feelings with j before going to bed, but felt that if I slept on it I would feel better in the morning. I woke up this morning and for a few seconds it was like any other morning, and then- as if slapped in the face- I remembered his post. It had bugged me so much that I was still upset the next morning. We talked a bit about it before we went to work this morning, and some things were resolved.

I know that j was/is frustrated because he has been working long hours and has extra responsibilities. But I am entering a new profession entirely, and am working and going to school as well to get my Masters degree. Yes, he has a lot on him, but so do I! And if I can have a lot on me and still feel Dominant, why can't he have a lot on him and still feel submissive?

I must say that now, almost 24 hours later, I am feeling better. I know that j is struggling with everything that is going on in his life right now, and he is doing the best that he can to be the best husband he can to me. I reread his post today, for the third time. Part of his post was about how I had recently removed his cuffs for a few days because we would be visiting with family. He wrote:

"i noticed immediately the lightness of my feet and legs. i knew deep inside i felt incomplete. Sometimes it's really frustrating to have to put on these "masks" for other people."

While his post was not what I would have hoped for, these three sentences fill me with a lot of hope.

Exciting Weekend Ahead

It has been a long week for j and I (hence the lack of posting!). We have both been very busy at our respective jobs, with very little down time. Still, we have managed to keep the D/s flowing between us.

I had removed j's anklets last weekend when we went to visit my father. I knew he would be swimming, and I did not think it was appropriate for him to wear them. When we returned, I had not put them back on him. Don't get me wrong, I had not forgotten, I just really did not have time to put them back on him properly. It did not seem right to just slap them on. : ) j sweetly reminded me this morning, as he raised up his pant legs and said, "Mistress, my legs feel too light." It was very touching, as I know that j feels awkward asking for anything like this, since he feels it is my place to decide. I knew that for him to get to the point that he asked me about it, he must have been very desperate to have his anklets back on. Tonight I invited him into the bedroom and had him undress. I took his anklets out of the cabinet, and he got in the fetal position on the bed. I liked seeing him so vulnerable, it made the moment that much more intense for me. I put his anklets back on, then groped his body a bit. I played with his cock and testicles with my toes, squeezing them.

j has been very good to me this week. he has made (or offered to make) breakfast each morning, sent me roses at work, and has been getting our daughter off to school each day. I am very blessed to have such an attentive sub!

Now on to the purpose of this post... our friends Domina and anthony, who had pulled away from D/s due to some turmoil in their relationship, now seem to be embracing the lifestyle again. Domina asked us to join them for dinner this weekend, but I was not really sure if either of us would be up to it. She thoughtfully suggested that they come to us (saving us the drive). I decided this is just what we need after a week of working too hard- to be able to spend some time with our good friends, feeling free to be ourselves. I am really looking forward to it!

Domina is a fantastic Woman, and our friendship means a lot to me. When she told me that she and anthony were taking a break from D/s, I was disappointed. She is such a kindred spirit, and sharing our journeys together has made me stronger, and given me countless ideas of ways to dominate j. I am sure that our time together will be wonderful!