Seems that my Dominance level is getting back to normal, as is j's level of submission. he is back to being obedient and his servitude is a welcome change from the few weeks of laziness and preoccupation. Our relationship truly seems to be symbiotic in the sense that when I exert my Dominance in a strong manner, his level of submission increases as well. Likewise, when he is extra submissive, I am more inclined to let the Dominant side of myself show in a strong way.
This morning was a perfect example of what I consider a good morning for us. I got up early to work out (not the normal for me, but put me in a great frame of mind). I interrupted j's morning routine by pushing him into the bathroom and telling him to pull down his pants. his ass looked adorable in my pink and purple thong, and I began to redden it, spanking him quite forcefully. he muttered something about me making the color of his ass pink like the panties...I told him I was going to make it PURPLE to match the panties instead!
I believe that our recent problems have been more over the stress and strain of having family visiting and a lot going on than any actual deterioration in our relationship. Still, we need to learn to work through those times without allowing our personal relationship to diminish.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Getting Back to Normal, Slowly
First, thank you for the comments on my frustration at j for his lack of obedience. While I believe that j always desires to please me, I also know that he is lazy and gets preoccupied easily. After much discussion with j about neglecting his responsibilities, it seems he decided that the priority was to clean the house rather than my list of tasks I require of him. Of course, this is not his decision to make, and in my mind is akin to topping from the bottom. j has a hard time understanding the significance of some of my requests, and I think that since he does not view them as important, he ignores them.
This whole thing puts me in a predicament. I often feel like a nagging bitch because I have to remind him (several times sometimes) to do the things I ask of him. On the other hand, if I say nothing, I get resentful and angry, and I hate being that way. In my opinion, a submissive man should be regularly looking for ways to please his Mistress. he should strive to come up with new and different ways to make her happy or make her life easier. And above all else, he should do what is asked of him, when it is asked of him.
I believe physical punishments are in order, as well as a training program. Frankly, the D/s part of our marriage was initiated by him, but once I learned more about it I dove in full force. It probably has always been a part of who I am, just one that I neglected for a while. I am not willing to go back to vanilla and deny myself who I am. If, however, j continues to be disobedient and ignore my requests, I am considering looking for another submissive who can meet my needs.
This whole thing puts me in a predicament. I often feel like a nagging bitch because I have to remind him (several times sometimes) to do the things I ask of him. On the other hand, if I say nothing, I get resentful and angry, and I hate being that way. In my opinion, a submissive man should be regularly looking for ways to please his Mistress. he should strive to come up with new and different ways to make her happy or make her life easier. And above all else, he should do what is asked of him, when it is asked of him.
I believe physical punishments are in order, as well as a training program. Frankly, the D/s part of our marriage was initiated by him, but once I learned more about it I dove in full force. It probably has always been a part of who I am, just one that I neglected for a while. I am not willing to go back to vanilla and deny myself who I am. If, however, j continues to be disobedient and ignore my requests, I am considering looking for another submissive who can meet my needs.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Frustrated and angry
For two weeks j let me down pretty much continuously. While I have gotten over some of my anger, enough of it is lingering that I feel the need to express it. I have a lot on my plate right now... I work 40+ hours a week (sometimes 50+), and I am also going to school to get my master's degree. I am a mother to four children, and I also have two dogs and five puppies that I am caring for. Life is hectic! Despite all the craziness of life though, I have (or had anyway) been writing in my blog frequently, as well as keeping up with our D/s life.
I do not feel that I ask a lot of j. In fact, I feel I am very generous and also very sensitive of his feelings. I do have a few things that I require. I want him to write in his blog at least once a week. I also want him to make dinner for me once a week (something real, not Betty Crocker or take-out!). Finally, as part of his recent punishment, he is required to hand-wash my panties. Frankly, I ask very little of him. his performance, however, is seriously lacking lately.
he is barely blogging. he rarely posts anything unless I fuss at him about it. he has yet to make a single homemade dinner for me since I asked him to do that over a month ago. Also, he has been washing my panties, but doing a terrible job, since I can still smell myself on them. When confronted about it, he came up with excuses.
Additionally, his family came down this past week, which is always stressful. They are great people, but they are very difficult to be around for any length of time. j did do a nice job of keeping the house clean, and I truly do appreciate that.
I am tired of feeling that my needs are last on his list. he can spend hours playing games, watching movies, talking on the phone with his friends, etc. but cannot find ten minutes to blog? cannot clean my panties to my satisfaction? cannot make me a nice dinner?
I am starting to feel (and sound) like a neglected wife, and I hate that. I know that I can force him to do all of these things. I know I can command him to drop everything he is doing and go post in his blog. I know I can force him to watch my panties for hours on end. But damnit... why should I always have to follow him around and make these demands? Shouldn't it be enough that he knows that I want him to do these things, and I ask him once and he does them?
I do not feel that I ask a lot of j. In fact, I feel I am very generous and also very sensitive of his feelings. I do have a few things that I require. I want him to write in his blog at least once a week. I also want him to make dinner for me once a week (something real, not Betty Crocker or take-out!). Finally, as part of his recent punishment, he is required to hand-wash my panties. Frankly, I ask very little of him. his performance, however, is seriously lacking lately.
he is barely blogging. he rarely posts anything unless I fuss at him about it. he has yet to make a single homemade dinner for me since I asked him to do that over a month ago. Also, he has been washing my panties, but doing a terrible job, since I can still smell myself on them. When confronted about it, he came up with excuses.
Additionally, his family came down this past week, which is always stressful. They are great people, but they are very difficult to be around for any length of time. j did do a nice job of keeping the house clean, and I truly do appreciate that.
I am tired of feeling that my needs are last on his list. he can spend hours playing games, watching movies, talking on the phone with his friends, etc. but cannot find ten minutes to blog? cannot clean my panties to my satisfaction? cannot make me a nice dinner?
I am starting to feel (and sound) like a neglected wife, and I hate that. I know that I can force him to do all of these things. I know I can command him to drop everything he is doing and go post in his blog. I know I can force him to watch my panties for hours on end. But damnit... why should I always have to follow him around and make these demands? Shouldn't it be enough that he knows that I want him to do these things, and I ask him once and he does them?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Oooh! Ahhh! Mmmmm....
When it comes to sex, I am very vocal. I am a moaner, a screamer, a talker even. As soon as touches go from casual to sensual, I begin moaning. It is not something I do consciously, but rather seems to be part of my body's natural response to pleasure. It probably was at least partially why I did so well during my brief stint as a phone sex operator (but more on that in another post).
What begins as moaning during kissing and foreplay, evolves into screams of passion during the throes of orgasm. Lately I have been toying with that I call the "Super O." I tease my pussy (or if I am feeling kind, allow j to do it for me) until I am close to orgasm and then stop. After a few seconds of recovery I begin again. It is tease and denial, but self-inflicted. What I like about it is that when I do allow myself to climax, it is incredibly intense. My moans and screams meld into this almost beastly growling, groaning sound. The release seems to be from my toes, and I cannot stifle the power of it.
j can almost be brought to orgasm from my moans alone, he loves them so. Truth be told, I love them too. I love that I sound as sexy as I feel. I love knowing that my orgasms are so powerful that they induce screams from my body. I am a sexy, powerful woman, and my orgasms attest to that!
What begins as moaning during kissing and foreplay, evolves into screams of passion during the throes of orgasm. Lately I have been toying with that I call the "Super O." I tease my pussy (or if I am feeling kind, allow j to do it for me) until I am close to orgasm and then stop. After a few seconds of recovery I begin again. It is tease and denial, but self-inflicted. What I like about it is that when I do allow myself to climax, it is incredibly intense. My moans and screams meld into this almost beastly growling, groaning sound. The release seems to be from my toes, and I cannot stifle the power of it.
j can almost be brought to orgasm from my moans alone, he loves them so. Truth be told, I love them too. I love that I sound as sexy as I feel. I love knowing that my orgasms are so powerful that they induce screams from my body. I am a sexy, powerful woman, and my orgasms attest to that!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Mistress Loves Some CBT
As I have written before, it is often hard to find time for the sexual aspects of D/s with kids in the house. It is important to j and me to keep this part of our lives private from our children. While they do see j deferring to me to make decisions, doing my nails, etc, they view this as him admiring and loving me. I like to take advantage of the brief moments we have when the kids are otherwise occupied.
Over the past few days I have been introducing brief moments of CBT (cock and ball torture) whenever possible. It turns me on, and keeps j on his toes. If we are sitting on the couch, massaging my feet, I have jammed my heels into his balls. I love watching him squirm, trying to hold his legs together to protect himself. Whenever he does this, I order him to open his legs so I can have access to his cock and balls.
The other day I had a few moments alone in the bedroom with him. I ordered him to lock the door and pull down his pants. he stood before me and I began to attach clothespins to his scrotum. Periodically I would tug and pull on the clothespins as he squirmed. Once I had quite a few clothespins attached, I told him to look at himself and teased him, telling him that he looked like a peacock (he really did!). I slapped his balls several times, and he gasped in pain. Then I began to pull the clothespins off, one by one. I know from our experiences in the past that this is the most painful part for him. I became so aroused as I watched him squirm. Throughout this time he maintained at least a partial erection, and his moans clearly were more of pleasure than of pain.
While sometimes our moments of intimacy are few and far between, we make the most of them!
Over the past few days I have been introducing brief moments of CBT (cock and ball torture) whenever possible. It turns me on, and keeps j on his toes. If we are sitting on the couch, massaging my feet, I have jammed my heels into his balls. I love watching him squirm, trying to hold his legs together to protect himself. Whenever he does this, I order him to open his legs so I can have access to his cock and balls.
The other day I had a few moments alone in the bedroom with him. I ordered him to lock the door and pull down his pants. he stood before me and I began to attach clothespins to his scrotum. Periodically I would tug and pull on the clothespins as he squirmed. Once I had quite a few clothespins attached, I told him to look at himself and teased him, telling him that he looked like a peacock (he really did!). I slapped his balls several times, and he gasped in pain. Then I began to pull the clothespins off, one by one. I know from our experiences in the past that this is the most painful part for him. I became so aroused as I watched him squirm. Throughout this time he maintained at least a partial erection, and his moans clearly were more of pleasure than of pain.
While sometimes our moments of intimacy are few and far between, we make the most of them!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hot Lyrics
I had 'Mysterious Ways' by U2 in my head all day. I had never really considered the lyrics before, but there seems to be an unmistakable reference to BDSM in the following:
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you wanna kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees now
Brought a wee bit of excitement to an otherwise stressful day.
Brought a wee bit of excitement to an otherwise stressful day.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Pushed Too Far?
Sunday was an exciting day! j and I were both feeling in the mood after all of our D/s talk with Domina and anthony. I told j that I was going to start working on his ability to last longer when we make love. he seemed a little discouraged, thinking it wouldn't be possible for him to last as long as I would like. I like powerful sex with lots of deep thrusting and hot, sweaty bodies, and when we do make love I am a very load moaner. My moans and screams quickly send j over the edge.
I began by taunting j, telling him that I wanted his cock in me. I wanted him to show me how long he could last, and prove to me that he is a man. I continued whispering into his ear as we made love. We made love off and on for quite some. j would stop periodically as he got close to orgasm. As much as possible, I tried to preoccupy myself with thoughts of anything other than the sex I was having. I was not going to allow him to use my moans as an excuse for why he couldn't control himself.
Our love making continued until he could barely put his cock inside me without withdrawing it immediately for fear of cumming. I asked him to beg me to let him cum. I enjoy hearing him beg and grovel, wanting release so badly. For a while I just smiled and told him to beg more. It was very intense and was taking me over the edge. Finally, I told him that I would allow him to cum, but that he had to promise to remain submissive after his orgasm. he also had to promise to do whatever I said. he, of course, agreed and was granted an orgasm.
We made love using a condom, and when we were done I instructed him to remove the condom and drink his sperm. I know that he does not like doing this at all. he will lick his cum off me on occasion, or taste a bit on my finger, but he hates even that. he really protested my request to drink his cum. This didn't surprise me, but it did frustrate me. I told him that he could choose not to, but he needed to realize that his submission is about My needs, and not just his. I believe this hit home with him, and he agreed to swallow his cum for me. he didn't like it, but he followed my direction.
We talked about this later, and he told me that swallowing his own semen is close to a hard limit for him, not because of the humiliation factor, but simply because he doesn't like the taste. I am working now on changing his diet to improve the taste for him, since I do so enjoy seeing him submit in his way.
I began by taunting j, telling him that I wanted his cock in me. I wanted him to show me how long he could last, and prove to me that he is a man. I continued whispering into his ear as we made love. We made love off and on for quite some. j would stop periodically as he got close to orgasm. As much as possible, I tried to preoccupy myself with thoughts of anything other than the sex I was having. I was not going to allow him to use my moans as an excuse for why he couldn't control himself.
Our love making continued until he could barely put his cock inside me without withdrawing it immediately for fear of cumming. I asked him to beg me to let him cum. I enjoy hearing him beg and grovel, wanting release so badly. For a while I just smiled and told him to beg more. It was very intense and was taking me over the edge. Finally, I told him that I would allow him to cum, but that he had to promise to remain submissive after his orgasm. he also had to promise to do whatever I said. he, of course, agreed and was granted an orgasm.
We made love using a condom, and when we were done I instructed him to remove the condom and drink his sperm. I know that he does not like doing this at all. he will lick his cum off me on occasion, or taste a bit on my finger, but he hates even that. he really protested my request to drink his cum. This didn't surprise me, but it did frustrate me. I told him that he could choose not to, but he needed to realize that his submission is about My needs, and not just his. I believe this hit home with him, and he agreed to swallow his cum for me. he didn't like it, but he followed my direction.
We talked about this later, and he told me that swallowing his own semen is close to a hard limit for him, not because of the humiliation factor, but simply because he doesn't like the taste. I am working now on changing his diet to improve the taste for him, since I do so enjoy seeing him submit in his way.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
About Last Night
Last night was our first face to face meeting with Domina and anthony from The Path Least Chosen. j and I had a bit of a drive to get there, and spent time discussing how we were feeling. While we were both nervous, we were also very excited to meet another couple who shares our desires for a female dominated relationship.
When j and I pulled up to the restaurant, I was wondering what I was getting in to. We were in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm, and the outside of the restaurant looked quite run down. Fortunately, Domina and anthony arrived shortly thereafter. It was so great seeing them and finally being able to put faces to names. They are a cute couple- Domina is effervescent, bubbly and bright. anthony is a bit shy and reserved, and has a sweet smile. The restaurant turned out far better than expected. The inside was quite nice and the food was delicious and inexpensive.
We initially talked more about our lives. The conversation at this point was very vanilla, but even so it was nice to finally feel that I could be free and let my guard down around someone else. D/s has become quite a bit of who we are, and it is difficult to have something you feel so strongly about that you cannot share with anyone other than your partner. The best analogy I can give is spending time with Grandma. When you go to see Grandma, there are things you cannot do or say, simply because she cannot handle them (or at least my Grandma couldn't). Therefore the entire time you spend with Grandma you are never really quite yourself since you are censoring your words and editing them as you say them lest Grandma think you are anything less than perfect. This analogy, while a bit long-winded, describes how I feel when spending time with our vanilla friends. I can never fully relax and be myself.
Talking with Domina and anthony was like talking with old friends. There were never any gaps in the conversation, it just flowed freely. It was nice to see anthony opening up more as the night went on and he became more comfortable. Time seemed to fly by, and gradually the restaurant emptied until it was just our table sitting next to the kitchen help. I really did not want the evening to end, and we agreed to go get drinks and dessert. By this time we all seemed to be a bit more relaxed and the conversation seemed to drift towards our relationships and fetishes. anthony, when he does speak, is very profound. I remember listening to him thinking "Wow, I really need to remember that line, that's great." Domina just makes me smile. I love how she would pull things out of anthony, sharing bits of themselves and their desires. At one point they referred to who outfreaked who. This reference was followed shortly thereafter by anthony asking j about urethral sounds and how the heck they worked (with a horrified look on his face)! So maybe we won the outfreak battle, but I am not so sure we will win the war!
It wasn't until after 1 a.m. that we called it a night. I normally would have fallen asleep in the car on the ride home, but instead talked with j about how our evening went. We both agreed it went as well as it possibly could have. I am looking forward to getting together with Domina and anthony again soon. I can even see shopping and spending time with Domina on one of her nights away from anthony. Girls time is always good, especially when we can bounce ideas off each other! Thank you, Domina and anthony, for a wonderful evening. Hope it is the first of many to come.
When j and I pulled up to the restaurant, I was wondering what I was getting in to. We were in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm, and the outside of the restaurant looked quite run down. Fortunately, Domina and anthony arrived shortly thereafter. It was so great seeing them and finally being able to put faces to names. They are a cute couple- Domina is effervescent, bubbly and bright. anthony is a bit shy and reserved, and has a sweet smile. The restaurant turned out far better than expected. The inside was quite nice and the food was delicious and inexpensive.
We initially talked more about our lives. The conversation at this point was very vanilla, but even so it was nice to finally feel that I could be free and let my guard down around someone else. D/s has become quite a bit of who we are, and it is difficult to have something you feel so strongly about that you cannot share with anyone other than your partner. The best analogy I can give is spending time with Grandma. When you go to see Grandma, there are things you cannot do or say, simply because she cannot handle them (or at least my Grandma couldn't). Therefore the entire time you spend with Grandma you are never really quite yourself since you are censoring your words and editing them as you say them lest Grandma think you are anything less than perfect. This analogy, while a bit long-winded, describes how I feel when spending time with our vanilla friends. I can never fully relax and be myself.
Talking with Domina and anthony was like talking with old friends. There were never any gaps in the conversation, it just flowed freely. It was nice to see anthony opening up more as the night went on and he became more comfortable. Time seemed to fly by, and gradually the restaurant emptied until it was just our table sitting next to the kitchen help. I really did not want the evening to end, and we agreed to go get drinks and dessert. By this time we all seemed to be a bit more relaxed and the conversation seemed to drift towards our relationships and fetishes. anthony, when he does speak, is very profound. I remember listening to him thinking "Wow, I really need to remember that line, that's great." Domina just makes me smile. I love how she would pull things out of anthony, sharing bits of themselves and their desires. At one point they referred to who outfreaked who. This reference was followed shortly thereafter by anthony asking j about urethral sounds and how the heck they worked (with a horrified look on his face)! So maybe we won the outfreak battle, but I am not so sure we will win the war!
It wasn't until after 1 a.m. that we called it a night. I normally would have fallen asleep in the car on the ride home, but instead talked with j about how our evening went. We both agreed it went as well as it possibly could have. I am looking forward to getting together with Domina and anthony again soon. I can even see shopping and spending time with Domina on one of her nights away from anthony. Girls time is always good, especially when we can bounce ideas off each other! Thank you, Domina and anthony, for a wonderful evening. Hope it is the first of many to come.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Furtive Fumblings in the Bedroom
Sex with children in the house reminds me of those times, as a teenager, that I would have a boyfriend over. We would both be so hot for each other, but with parents within earshot had to keep our oohs, ahs and moans to a minimum. I remember at times the excitement and daring of it all seemed to intensify things for me. Now, as an adult with kids in the house, it does nothing but damper the sensations!
Every other weekend we go from one to four children in the house. Our daughter who lives with us full-time is a sound sleeper, and is extremely independent. She frequently gets up in the morning and does her own thing for a while. Our other three children...not so much! They fill the house with doors closing, running, fussing at each other, giggling and laughing, making crazy noises (okay, it's not nearly as bad as I am making it out to be, but you get the idea). Also, they frequently feel the need to share things with us, knocking on the door at the most inopportune times!
I woke a little earlier than usual this morning. The sun was shining in through the blinds, and I felt rejuvenated after an excellent sleep. I pulled back the covers so I could look at j's naked body (I require him to sleep naked). he looked sexy and yet vulnerable. his already small-ish manhood shriveled up even further than usual. I stroked him and he began to wake up, feeling my fingers grasping his cock. Within seconds he was hard and moaning softly. I asked him how long it had been since he had last cum. "I don't know...at least a week, maybe two." He continued to moan, and I became quite aroused just watching his cock grow under my touch.
I asked for my vibrator and began to rub it against myself, instructing him to touch himself so I could watch. Wisely, he went and locked the door at this point, then returned and kneeled beside my head so I had an excellent view. I love watching him stroke his (my) cock. It did not take me long at all to reach orgasm myself, and then I began using the vibrator, my beloved Magic Wand, on him. I teased his cock for a while, watching him get close to orgasm, then pulling away. I did this several times, and at the last time his moans continued after I pulled away, and cum flowed out of his cock. According to j, he came but did not orgasm, and while I am not arguing with the biological possibilities of this happening, in my book they are one in the same. j has a problem with cumming prematurely, and I felt disappointed that he could not control himself. After all, I had not teased him much at all this morning.
I excused him to go clean himself up, and when he returned to bed I slapped his balls several times...hard. Hard enough that he closed his legs when I reach back between then to slap him again. I scolded him for this and slapped him a few more times. Then I began stroking his cock again, getting him rock hard very quickly. Within moments he was asking me if he could cum. I, of course, refused to let him and instead slapped his balls some more. Each time it would elicit gasps of pain and his body would arch up to escape my hand. Then I would go back to stroking. This continued for some time. I could have gone on even longer except.....
* knock-knock-knock *
* knock-knock-knock *
"Mom, somebody broke my light-up toy."
UGH! Despite being quiet, the children were up and needing attention. Seems like they can sense whenever we are being intimate!
Do not get me wrong, I really love my children. They are the best things that have ever happened to me and I treasure each of them. I am so thankful that I have these years to enjoy with them, to watch them grown and develop into unique individuals, each with their own gifts. But every once in a while I fantasize about what it will be like when they are grown and on their own and the house is quiet again. Happy Mother's Day!
Every other weekend we go from one to four children in the house. Our daughter who lives with us full-time is a sound sleeper, and is extremely independent. She frequently gets up in the morning and does her own thing for a while. Our other three children...not so much! They fill the house with doors closing, running, fussing at each other, giggling and laughing, making crazy noises (okay, it's not nearly as bad as I am making it out to be, but you get the idea). Also, they frequently feel the need to share things with us, knocking on the door at the most inopportune times!
I woke a little earlier than usual this morning. The sun was shining in through the blinds, and I felt rejuvenated after an excellent sleep. I pulled back the covers so I could look at j's naked body (I require him to sleep naked). he looked sexy and yet vulnerable. his already small-ish manhood shriveled up even further than usual. I stroked him and he began to wake up, feeling my fingers grasping his cock. Within seconds he was hard and moaning softly. I asked him how long it had been since he had last cum. "I don't know...at least a week, maybe two." He continued to moan, and I became quite aroused just watching his cock grow under my touch.
I asked for my vibrator and began to rub it against myself, instructing him to touch himself so I could watch. Wisely, he went and locked the door at this point, then returned and kneeled beside my head so I had an excellent view. I love watching him stroke his (my) cock. It did not take me long at all to reach orgasm myself, and then I began using the vibrator, my beloved Magic Wand, on him. I teased his cock for a while, watching him get close to orgasm, then pulling away. I did this several times, and at the last time his moans continued after I pulled away, and cum flowed out of his cock. According to j, he came but did not orgasm, and while I am not arguing with the biological possibilities of this happening, in my book they are one in the same. j has a problem with cumming prematurely, and I felt disappointed that he could not control himself. After all, I had not teased him much at all this morning.
I excused him to go clean himself up, and when he returned to bed I slapped his balls several times...hard. Hard enough that he closed his legs when I reach back between then to slap him again. I scolded him for this and slapped him a few more times. Then I began stroking his cock again, getting him rock hard very quickly. Within moments he was asking me if he could cum. I, of course, refused to let him and instead slapped his balls some more. Each time it would elicit gasps of pain and his body would arch up to escape my hand. Then I would go back to stroking. This continued for some time. I could have gone on even longer except.....
* knock-knock-knock *
* knock-knock-knock *
"Mom, somebody broke my light-up toy."
UGH! Despite being quiet, the children were up and needing attention. Seems like they can sense whenever we are being intimate!
Do not get me wrong, I really love my children. They are the best things that have ever happened to me and I treasure each of them. I am so thankful that I have these years to enjoy with them, to watch them grown and develop into unique individuals, each with their own gifts. But every once in a while I fantasize about what it will be like when they are grown and on their own and the house is quiet again. Happy Mother's Day!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Excited About Tomorrow Night
Some posts back I wrote about meeting another couple online who lives near us. They also live a femdom lifestyle. While we have chatted and exchanged emails, we have yet to meet face to face. It looks like this will happen tomorrow night. Up until this morning it seemed iffy at best, as we switched weekends with my ex-husband, so I will have all my children with me this weekend. Four kids, two dogs and five little puppies is a daunting task for any sitter, but fortunately our wonderful babysitter/employee came through for us yet again. This will allow us to meet Domina and anthony. If you are not yet aware of their blog, it is The Path Least Chosen.
I am really looking forward to meeting both of them. We have living a femdom life for nearly five years now, but have never had anyone with whom we felt comfortable sharing it. While a few people who are very close to us do know, it is certainly not something we discuss with them.
In other news, j has really stepped up his submission. he himself came to me in his CB-3000 and asked me if I would lock him up. he knows this pleases me, and I become aroused just thinking about it during the day. By being locked away, he is surrendering to me completely. The fact that this is of his own doing is exhilarating.
he looks quite sexy in his panties. Actually, we match today! he has yet to hand-wash my panties for me, but they are waiting for him and I am sure he will do it tonight. I so appreciate Eclectic Enchantress' suggestions for him for washing my panties! I will make sure he follows your directions. I enjoy that in a way, another Domme is telling him what to do. Just what a good submissive hubby needs!
I am really looking forward to meeting both of them. We have living a femdom life for nearly five years now, but have never had anyone with whom we felt comfortable sharing it. While a few people who are very close to us do know, it is certainly not something we discuss with them.
In other news, j has really stepped up his submission. he himself came to me in his CB-3000 and asked me if I would lock him up. he knows this pleases me, and I become aroused just thinking about it during the day. By being locked away, he is surrendering to me completely. The fact that this is of his own doing is exhilarating.
he looks quite sexy in his panties. Actually, we match today! he has yet to hand-wash my panties for me, but they are waiting for him and I am sure he will do it tonight. I so appreciate Eclectic Enchantress' suggestions for him for washing my panties! I will make sure he follows your directions. I enjoy that in a way, another Domme is telling him what to do. Just what a good submissive hubby needs!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Verdict Is...
It has taken me a while to mull over punishment ideas for j. he has stepped up his behavior quite a bit in the meantime, hopefully more out of respect than fear for what he may have coming. Initially I considered forcing him to sleep in the spare bedroom for a week. Upon further consideration though, I realized that this would simply take him further away from me (something I definitely do not want). In a way, I would be punishing myself as well, and that is not acceptable.
I have decided that his punishment will be multi-faceted. He will be wearing panties for the next month. This, generally, does not appeal to him but is something that I enjoy. I am certain that the frequent reminder of his position throughout the day will help to reinforce his submission. During this month, he will be washing all of his (and my) panties by hand and laying them out to dry. Finally, he has coming to him quite a CBT session. I have been reading up on various techniques that will make him squirm. This part of the punishment he will enjoy, to a certain extent, though I plan on pushing his limits.
Hopefully these will help to reinforce his submission. If they don't, further punishment will be in order (which is always exciting)!
I have decided that his punishment will be multi-faceted. He will be wearing panties for the next month. This, generally, does not appeal to him but is something that I enjoy. I am certain that the frequent reminder of his position throughout the day will help to reinforce his submission. During this month, he will be washing all of his (and my) panties by hand and laying them out to dry. Finally, he has coming to him quite a CBT session. I have been reading up on various techniques that will make him squirm. This part of the punishment he will enjoy, to a certain extent, though I plan on pushing his limits.
Hopefully these will help to reinforce his submission. If they don't, further punishment will be in order (which is always exciting)!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Punishment Is In Order
The past few months have been very challenging for me. Not only am I working full time, but I am also going to school. In addition, we have a four children (one with us full-time and three every other weekend). Many days I find myself exhausted, yet despite this my feelings of Dominance have grown. More than ever before I want to see j down on the floor, sitting before me.
While my feelings of dominance have piqued, it appears that j's feelings of submission have diminished. Truth be told, he is overwhelmed by everything going on in life too, and I understand that. But I am frustrated that, at the end of the day, when I am doing school work, he is watching tv or playing games on the computer. I know that as his Mistress I can command him to get off his ass and clean the house. But sometimes I want him to do this without me demanding it. I want him to do it simply because he knows it will please me and not because I instructed him to. It is kind of like telling him I want him to bring me flowers. Yes, he would do it, but only because I was telling him to. This continues to be a point of debate for us.
Frustrating the matter even more is that when I do tell him things to get done, often they are done incompletely or he puts off doing them so that I must remind him.
Frankly, I feel as if I am dealing with a child.
As a result of these behaviors (and his laziness), we frequently come to the point where my frustration boils over. This has happened periodically since we began D/s and seems to be increasing in frequency. I know that I should punish him at these times, but I do not like the idea that he may get some satisfaction out of being punished. I will be considering this matter today and post his punishment this evening. It should be....interesting!
While my feelings of dominance have piqued, it appears that j's feelings of submission have diminished. Truth be told, he is overwhelmed by everything going on in life too, and I understand that. But I am frustrated that, at the end of the day, when I am doing school work, he is watching tv or playing games on the computer. I know that as his Mistress I can command him to get off his ass and clean the house. But sometimes I want him to do this without me demanding it. I want him to do it simply because he knows it will please me and not because I instructed him to. It is kind of like telling him I want him to bring me flowers. Yes, he would do it, but only because I was telling him to. This continues to be a point of debate for us.
Frustrating the matter even more is that when I do tell him things to get done, often they are done incompletely or he puts off doing them so that I must remind him.
Frankly, I feel as if I am dealing with a child.
As a result of these behaviors (and his laziness), we frequently come to the point where my frustration boils over. This has happened periodically since we began D/s and seems to be increasing in frequency. I know that I should punish him at these times, but I do not like the idea that he may get some satisfaction out of being punished. I will be considering this matter today and post his punishment this evening. It should be....interesting!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
My Scepter is a Hitachi Magic Wand
The Hitachi Magic Wand is, I believe, God's gift to women! It is by far my favorite vibrator, and the fact that it could pass (and does work) as a muscle massager as well leaves me free to keep it plugged in and placed near the head of my bed. For years it has brought me solitary pleasure, and on occasion I have allowed j to use it on me. I generally prefer he not, since I believe he should work for my orgasms, and the Magic Wand makes it too easy for him!
Recently I have begun incorporating the Magic Wand into our tease and denial sessions. This morning, for instance, I allowed j to touch my pussy. He relished this opportunity and brought me to two nice orgasms. Then I asked for my Magic Wand. I used it on my pussy and he asked permission to touch and suck my nipples as he often does on such occasions. The Magic Wand is so powerful that I generally push it against the lips of my pussy and leave it in place, since when I move it I climax immediately (yes, it IS that powerful). When I achieved my "magical" orgasm, I began using the wand on his cock. j is incredibly sensitive, so within seconds he is moaning that he is close to cumming. I allow him a break of just a few moments before I move the magic wand over his cock some more. This morning I did this about a dozen times, leaving him moaning with hips thrusting, hoping that I would let him climax. I, of course, did not allow this!
Recently I have begun incorporating the Magic Wand into our tease and denial sessions. This morning, for instance, I allowed j to touch my pussy. He relished this opportunity and brought me to two nice orgasms. Then I asked for my Magic Wand. I used it on my pussy and he asked permission to touch and suck my nipples as he often does on such occasions. The Magic Wand is so powerful that I generally push it against the lips of my pussy and leave it in place, since when I move it I climax immediately (yes, it IS that powerful). When I achieved my "magical" orgasm, I began using the wand on his cock. j is incredibly sensitive, so within seconds he is moaning that he is close to cumming. I allow him a break of just a few moments before I move the magic wand over his cock some more. This morning I did this about a dozen times, leaving him moaning with hips thrusting, hoping that I would let him climax. I, of course, did not allow this!
The Quest for the Alternative Collar
j has had a shiny metal collar from Eternity Collars that he has worn throughout the winter and continues to wear now. It is a very significant symbol of his undying devotion to me. He actually wore it for a couple years straight, but then I removed it when I became concerned after someone noticed it and was actually aware of the significance of it. Yup, we were outed (at least by that one individual). Actually, in hindsight I believe that he probably knew what it was because he is a sub as well. After that experience I was hesitant to put it back on him, but did in early winter since I knew he would be wearing shirts with collars. It is still noticeable even then, as I see a glint now and then in the back as it catches the light, but someone would have to be looking carefully to really see it.
Now, with the warm weather, the collar is showing again. It is time for some sort of alternative collar. My sub has suggested anklets, which I think would be a nice idea. They would still be a problem though at the beach, for instance. I have considered a simple chain that would be no different from what some men wear, but I just want something more sturdy. I want something that I can grab and yank him by when I want his attention!
The search continues, and I know I must make a decision soon. In the meantime, I am aroused thinking of the possibilities. A small tattoo sounds nice, as does a piercing. While neither are a collar per se, they are permanent reminders of his desire to serve and please me.
Ultimately I believe the solution may end up being a combination of alternatives: his regular collar for the winter months, anklets for most other months, and something small to use at the beach or pool...maybe even his steel cock ring for these occasions? I am curious how other D/s couples incorporate collars into everyday life!
Now, with the warm weather, the collar is showing again. It is time for some sort of alternative collar. My sub has suggested anklets, which I think would be a nice idea. They would still be a problem though at the beach, for instance. I have considered a simple chain that would be no different from what some men wear, but I just want something more sturdy. I want something that I can grab and yank him by when I want his attention!
The search continues, and I know I must make a decision soon. In the meantime, I am aroused thinking of the possibilities. A small tattoo sounds nice, as does a piercing. While neither are a collar per se, they are permanent reminders of his desire to serve and please me.
Ultimately I believe the solution may end up being a combination of alternatives: his regular collar for the winter months, anklets for most other months, and something small to use at the beach or pool...maybe even his steel cock ring for these occasions? I am curious how other D/s couples incorporate collars into everyday life!
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