Seven Seconds to Ecstasy

j and I have enjoyed a couple of lazy days at home. It has been nice to sleep in, spend lots of time talking, and just enjoy each other again. Simple things, like just holding each other and kissing, had been neglected for far too long. As j and I lay in bed the other day, I leaned over and began kissing him. I love the feeling of his mouth against mine, sucking on his bottom lip, tasting him and hearing his soft moans as we kiss.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, I realized that it had been a while since he had last cum. I decided to tease him a bit. I told him he had thirty seconds to make himself cum, but that if he didn't climax in thirty seconds, he would not be allowed to cum at all. I thought that for sure he would not be able to cum in that short a time, and therefore would be teased and denied.

I began counting, and for the first few seconds he didn't respond. I think he was in shock a bit. A few seconds in he began stroking his cock furiously. He used both hands, the fingertips of both hands wrapped around the head of his cock. When I got to ten seconds, he had to slow down, virtually to a stop. I began to laugh as I realized why. After seven seconds of stroking he was on the verge of an orgasm! Here I was, thinking I would be challenging him by getting him to try to cum in thirty seconds and he could do it in seven!! Unreal!

I guess it could be his years of chronic masturbation. Maybe if you do something frequently enough, you get really, really good at it.

For the rest of the day, we giggled off and on about his 'seven second' record.

Follow Up to Christmas Sucks

In the past couple of days I have recovered a bit from the Christmas slight. Although I have done my best to forgive and forget, not having a present from j on Christmas morning has left a wound that will take time to heal. Still, having some time together has helped me to feel better.

I greatly appreciate the input from those who have responded. I believe that j simply did not feel that he could live up to some of the gifts he had gotten me in the past. Like most men, he failed to looked beyond the big money gifts to the big thought gifts (which I would have liked just as much, if not more anyway). One of my readers responded that since he was so limited in time, he did not have the time necessary to come up with a thoughtful gift. He actually did have quite a bit of time. Even though he worked all the way up until Christmas, his time at work was more of a supervisory role (and he just needed to be there). He had even told me that he felt that he did not have much to do while he was there.

We have talked quite a bit about things, and it seems we are both feeling better. I feel quite confident he will not make this mistake again in the future.

Again, I appreciate the support. Time to move on! Juicy, hot, fun post to follow!!

Christmas Sucks (and I don't mean cock)

It's 6:30 Christmas night and I'm stewing on the anger I have felt inside me all day. I kept it bottled up most of the day so I could enjoy time with my children. I am happy to report they had a wonderful day, and Santa brought them all kinds of great toys. I am, however, very upset that j did not get me ANYTHING for Christmas.

Money has been tight this year, due to the crappy economy, so I wasn't really expecting anything big. But I cannot begin to express how hurt I am that he didn't care enough to get me anything. I got him a $50 itunes gift card. I know, it's not exactly the most thoughtful gift, but he loves music and is always wanting to download more. I know many times he resists buying an album, and now he will be able to get what he wants, at least for a while.

At first, I wasn't even that upset that he didn't get me anything. But the more I thought about it, the more disappointed I became. Here is the man who supposedly adores and worships me, and yet he can't get to the store to get me anything? It really hurts, and makes me feel like I am disillusioned about a lot of things, including how he truly feels about me. I am starting to wonder if his submission to me is more about sex than it is about love, and that really hurts.

He was supposed to spend the entire week with me, but that hasn't happened. He worked last weekend, all week long, and will work again tomorrow. He is trying to keep his business afloat, and I appreciate that (really- I do), but where do I fit in? Is it no longer important to try and keep our marriage afloat?

Part of me wonders if I am making too much out of this, but I really don't think I am. We NEVER said that we weren't going to get each other anything, so that wasn't the issue. I don't know. The whole thing sucks. I would love to hear that opinions of any of my readers. Has this ever happened to you? Did you ever not get your wife/girlfriend something for Christmas?

Hope everyone is having a very Merry Christmas! Now putting my smiley face back on to enjoy the evening with my kids.

Female Masturbation

I came home from work today feeling exceptionally horny. I don't think there was any particular reason behind it, but I could not keep my mind off of sex. Despite having things to do, I decided to indulge in some masturbation. j was working late, and therefore was not around to service me.

Female masturbation is so different from male masturbation. Women luxuriate in masturbation, much like taking a bubble bath. It is not about how quickly a woman can climax, but rather about the experience as a whole. When I masturbate alone (as opposed to masturbating when I am being intimate with j), I take my time. I enjoy my breasts, rubbing them and holding them, lightly pinching my nipples. I rub my fingertips lightly over my body and love the tickling-exciting sensation it gives me. And when I do finally touch my pussy, it is slow and passionate. I rub my labia, I lightly touch my clit, I put my finger at the entrance of me and feel how wet I have become. When I do finally reach orgasm, I moan loudly. My moans are almost animalistic and I feel completely uninhibited.

Masturbation seems to be yet another area where women get it right and men do not. For men, at least the ones I have known, masturbation is fast, a means to an end. There is no foreplay, there is no enjoyment of the body- there is just rushed stroking. I am always amazed by how quickly j can achieve orgasm when I let him touch his cock. And so many men masturbate far too frequently. Multiple times in a day, even.

I guess a good analogy is this... male masturbation is like eating from the buffet at Shoney's, while female masturbation is like a five-course dinner at a fine restaurant.

CollarMe Gives Me a Headache

I am sure most you readers are familiar with CollarMe. I joined a few months ago, thinking it would be nice to get to know others in the lifestyle. And, of course, the idea of having another sub serve me has always been a turn-on. I expected that I would receive messages from a fair number of people. What I did not expect was some of the messages I have received.

It seems that a good portion of the submissive population there thinks that after a single message back and forth, a Domme is ready to tie them up and beat them. Most of them send one line emails, frequently with poor grammar or misspellings. I have received enough penis pictures to make me want to gag. Really? Seriously? I want a man to serve me and you think the best way to introduce yourself is by messaging me with a picture of your wang? Ugh!

I have received a few nice, thoughtful messages, and I appreciate them. I respond to them, even if they don't meet my needs, because I appreciate the time and care they put into writing me. But frankly, the CollarMe experience is pretty disappointing. I'm sure there are good subs on there, but I am not finding many!

Love Will Find A Way

It has been a while since I last posted, mainly because I haven't had a whole lot to write about, at least not pertaining to D/s. Things had been on hold while j and I both dealt with other issues, but I am pleased to say that it seems we are heading back in the right direction.

Yesterday was a rough day for me and on top of that, j and I were not communicating well at all. I was/am overwhelmed as I work on my Masters thesis, and everything was/is setting me off. Hopefully the worst will be behind me soon, but in the meantime I am a bitchy Domme! I messaged j yesterday, griping about my day. In typical male fashion, he wanted to fix the things that were causing me problems. While I appreciate that he desires to fix things, I really just wanted him to let me vent and try to understand. My irritation grew as I couldn't get him to understand what I needed.

Today has been much better. We were able to spend a good amount of time talking about what went wrong yesterday, and what I need from him. What he failed to see was that had I wanted him to fix things, I would have asked him to. I just wanted him to listen, care, comfort and assure me that this, too, will pass.

j unexpectedly spent the day at home (thanks to a heating unit that needed to be replaced). When I arrived home this evening, he was naked, completely shaved, wearing his collar, anklets, and one of his leather cock/ball contraptions. He looked sexy and delicious! Although our time was limited, we did engage in a bit of play and I even allowed him an orgasm. As always, of course, it was on my terms.

One of my favorite things to do with j is to play with and suck on his nipples. He used to hate this, finding it a bit painful. But through time and training he has come to enjoy and crave it. As I sucked, licked and tongued his nipples, his cock grew in size. I wrapped my thumb and index finger around his cock, just under the head. I stroked it a bit, and he kept pulling away from me, knowing he was on the verge of orgasm (and, as usual, not wanting to have one unless I okayed it). After several rounds of this I told him that he could cum- but I stopped moving my hand. His desire was so intense that he thrusted his entire body up and down on the bed in order to make his cock move against my hand. He really worked for that orgasm, and I enjoyed allowing him that release.

No marriage is easy, and while a D/s marriage (for us) is more fulfilling, it also requires more work and better communication. But we have been at this for five years, and have FAR more good times than bad ones.

Pulling Things Back Together

I have started this post five different times, and keep deleting it. This morning the words are not flowing well, but at the same time I feel the need to post. Things between j and I are improving, and I can see that he is working hard to serve me (despite me telling him that I felt we should discontinue our D/s practices, at least for the time being).

I am enjoying his efforts, and I must admit it is nice to be able to sit back and take in his submission without being Dominant. When I am Dominant, at times I feel I have to be something akin to a mother to j. I tell him what I expect from him, and then I have to go around behind him checking to see if it is done (and done well). If it is not, I have to come up with an appropriate punishment, or "lecture" him.

For me, this is not working very well. Too often things are not done in a timely manner, or the way I expect, and I am left feeling let down. That decreases my feelings of Dominance, because if my commands are not followed, surely he is not submitting as he should (and maybe I'm not being as Dominant as I should be). I get off on him submitting to me. His submission drives me to be more and more Dominant (just as I would imagine my Dominance drives him to be more and more submissive).

In an ideal world, j would follow my direction without question and without fail. The "punishments" that I give would be administered simply as an exciting way to increase my Dominance over him. And, most importantly, if I told him to do something, I could rest assured that it would be done and done well. Now I know our world is far from ideal, and that many times life gets in the way, but our venture into D/s began as a result of his suggestion. I have encouraged this time away from D/s because I feel it will increase his appreciation for the way things were. I hope that as we return to our roles, we work harder to be Dominant and submissive out of sheer desire, not a sense of obligation or feeling it is the way things should be.

As my mother always said, "Be a labor great or small, do it well or not at all."

Hating the Hiatus!

What do you do when your partner is unable to assume their D/s role? I'm finding myself contemplating this lately, as j is struggling with some issues in his life and basically cannot be submissive. It is in part because he doesn't have the time to fulfill his duties, and also because he is not emotionally available to give himself to me.

Things have been this way, to varying degrees, for a few months. The first couple months I was able to cope well- I was busy with things going on in my life, and the lack of a D/s connection between us wasn't obviously apparent. But lately it's been nagging at me, and I miss feeling the closeness that I only truly experience when he submits to me.

Part of it is neglect: my panties have not been hand-washed in quite some time, I haven't had a pedicure in ages, and it's even bubbling over into our sex life. Recently I asked him to rub me... I had an orgasm pretty quickly since it had been a long time since he had touched me, and when I reached over to stroke him, he was limp. I was troubled because that is extremely unusual for him.

It's tough- part of me wants to be angry at him and assert my Dominance, putting him back in his place. But at the same time I realize that he needs time to focus on his own needs, not mine.

I told him today that I am giving him this time. He didn't ask for it, but he needs it. He can't meet my needs until he takes care of himself, and right now he is a mess.

I can't fix things for him. If I could, I would. So I sit here wait, and hope that things will improve. And fantasize.

Fantasizing - Part 2

* continued from previous post *

He kneels and looks up at me, in desperation. "Look at the floor, you are not worthy of watching me," I say, and before the words finish flowing from my mouth I lift my leg and push his head down with my foot. His head lowers until it is resting on the floor, near my shoe. "Lick it," I say, and immediately his tongue begins lapping my shoes. My toes are exposed in this particular pair of heels, and he licks closer and closer to them. I can tell he is eager and yearning to have my toes in his mouth. "Beg me, boy! Beg me for the privilege of sucking on my toes," I challenge him.

Immediately, out of enthusiasm I am sure, he looks up at me to beg. My hand draws back and I slap his face. I hear the gasps of those around us. "I did NOT tell you to look at me. I told you to beg!" He looks at my feet and begins begging in earnest, almost whining as he attempts to earn the honor of licking my feet. I beckon to j to come over and remove my shoes, and now I have two submissive men kneeling before me. As my admirer continues to beg and plea, I shove my toes into his mouth, mid-sentence. He begins licking and sucking passionately, as if he was dying of thirst and was just offered a glass of water.

I meet j's eyes and whisper, "Undress him." I know he does not want to do this, and that beyond that he is afraid of what might happen after my admirer is naked. Still, he follows my command, and as my admirer suckles my toes he is being stripped of his clothes. As his pants are removed, I see his erection. He is absolutely enormous, his hard cock nearly twice the size of j's. I am sure this makes j uncomfortable, which just adds to my excitement.

"Mistress, he is undressed, as you asked," j says meekly. I push my admirer away from my feet and stand up. I turn my back to him and push my pants down, slowly. I taunt not only j and my admirer, but the rest of the room as well, as they see me exposing more and more of myself. As I remove my pants from around my ankles, I call out my next command. "Both of you, lick my ass, now!"

Within seconds, I have two tongues on my ass, licking it. I feel the tongue of my love against my asshole, pushing against it and tickling it. I feel the tongue of my admirer as well, slightly beneath my asshole, They continue licking and I feel my pussy getting wet. I turn my body around so that I am leaning back against the stool and give my next order. "My pussy- lick it." I hear j gasp, the way that he always does when I give him the honor of tasting me, and then I feel them both there, tonguing and tasting me. My juices are flowing steadily now, and I have begun to moan.

The feeling of two tongues on me, lapping away, as a room full of people look on is too much for me, and I have a tremendous orgasm. My moans are almost animalistic in nature, coming from deep within me. My hips thrust up against their faces over and over again, as my body shakes in pleasure.

I feel my legs giving out beneath me, and I push them away. The pleasure is too intense and I can take no more. They are both on the floor now, looking bewildered. "You're coming with me! I'm not done with you yet," I say, as I quickly put my pants back on and head towards the door. I look over my shoulder and see j scampering to close his pants over his intense erection. My admirer is sitting on the floor, naked, looking bewildered. "Come on- get up! I want both of you tonight," I say, and he appears shocked but excited by my demand. Ahh, the fun to come!

Fantasizing

A nasty cold has me home in bed. Normally this would put my feelings of Dominance on ice, but today it seems to have done the opposite. Despite feeling icky, my mind has been going a mile a minute, fantasizing about j. My dreams have centered around it as well.

The fantasy du jour is this: j and I are in a room full of people. While they are conversing softly and drinking, all of their eyes are on me. I am dressed in a black leather bra and black leather pants, and wearing black high heels. j is shaved completely, including his head, and is wearing pair of gray sheer panties. (No coincidence that he was wearing these this morning as I drifted off to sleep, I am sure!)

I sit down on a stool and j lays across my lap. I lower his pants and begin spanking him, lightly at first and then harder. I can feel his cock harden against my legs and I alternate spanking and rubbing his ass. The more I spank him, the quieter those around us get until the room is silent except for the sound of my hand coming down on him. The sound seems to reverberate, and his body begins to quiver. I feel his member leaking pre-cum on my leg, and he desperately tries to create some friction against his cock by moving his body around. I laugh at his desperation, and with all my strength I kick his body to the floor.

he lays on the floor, a puddle of a man, needing to cum and yet filled with the desire to please. I look at one of the men who has been watching us. his eyes on transfixed on me, and I motion to him to come my way. he stands before me and then kneels upon my command.

*** to be continued ***

Enjoying My Feet

I find my feet to be one of the most attractive parts of my body. I have always had strong, flexible feet and ankles. I think nothing of picking up things I drop with my toes. But until we began exploring D/s some five-ish years ago, I did not view them as part of my sexual being.

I receive a lot of pleasure from my feet. j massages them nightly, and has found a point on the sole of my feet that is very erotic. When he rubs his thumb in this area I get very aroused. Of course, there is something truly intoxicating about having a man lick and kiss my feet, belittling himself before me.

I have begun to realize that I enjoy the power my feet bring me. I like hearing the sound of my high heels when I walk around, or the glances of others when they see my shoes. Sure, my tennis shoes may be more comfortable, but my heels are the ultimate aphrodisiac- for me and for those around me!

Unexpected Post-Shower Fun

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Domination Goes Mainstream

I was listening to a football game in the car the other day when I heard a commercial that caught my attention. The commercial was for the Fox cartoon lineup (Simpsons, Family Guy, etc). It began with a woman speaking in a sultry voice saying, "I know you want to be dominated." She continues, "It feels so good to submit." At the end of the conversation, the voice says something about the safe word being animation (I think that is what it was, but I was so shocked by this commercial, I may have heard the wrong safe word!)

I love when I hear things like this. I like that others are becoming familiar with BDSM. Even though many of the references to BDSM are silly or over the top, I do think that it increases awareness and acceptance of people who love differently, as we do. While considering this post, I came across a great website, Welcome to Master Kelly.com, which gives examples of tv references to BDSM presently as well as historically. It is an impressive list, and while I was aware of some of the references, quite a few were new to me. He breaks the list up by decades, going back as far as the 60's! Definitely worth checking out!

A Little More Satisfaction

Oddly enough, j and I rarely have sexual intercourse. There are many reasons for this, one of which is that I keep j so on the edge sexually that intercourse is generally over very quickly. Also, I like playing with j, teasing him, tempting him and I have more control when he is not inside of me.

Nonetheless, every now and then I just want to fuck. I had been teasing j for days through texts and little comments, as well as flashing him on occasion. I knew that had I allowed him inside of me, it would end quickly. Fortunately, we have some prescription numbing cream that is very effective in allowing our lovemaking to be quite prolonged.

I had j lick me for quite a long time, and each time I came it seemed that the orgasm was stronger than the previous one. But even though I was immensely enjoying his tongue, I really wanted to fuck! And fuck we did! With the help of the numbing cream, he felt very little, and I went to town on him. I rode him for a long time, and came so hard I scraped my fingernails down his chest, drawing a bit of blood. It was good, it was great, it was freaking mindblowing!

When we finished (after several position changes), we snuggled for a while, dozing in each other's arms. And while it may not have been our typical D/s sex, it was powerful and loving.

It was a wonderful release, and quite refreshing at the end of a long weekend.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

I'm a pretty understanding person. I understand that sometimes things happen beyond our control. But it is difficult to be understanding when things like this happen... a lot.

We were all set to have dinner with Domina and anthony tonight. By all set, I mean that j and I had taken our daughter to her grandmother's house for the weekend (3 hours away), j had gotten everything for dinner together, we had arranged to have our dogs elsewhere for the evening, the house had been picked up. j had texted and called anthony around noon and did not get a response. Around 2 pm, he got a phone call from anthony saying that he and Domina would not be coming. Something had come up with his kids, and he would not be able to make it.

I was in the bedroom, getting ready, when j came in. He said to me, "You know, we need to find new friends. D and a will not be coming tonight." He went on to explain that a had called, and that something was going on with his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids.

This should not have come as a surprise to me. As you may remember, two weekends ago, right in the middle of a great dinner, Domina and anthony had to leave unexpectedly when he had to go pick up his daughter. j and I were quite disappointed, but at the same time understanding. We have both been divorced, and we have kids. We know that sometimes things come up.

It was their idea to get together this weekend to try things again. It was a great idea- it required a little finagling on our part to make arrangements for our daughter, but we felt that their company was worth it.

Right now I don't know what to say. It's mid-afternoon, and we live in a rural area so it's not like we can pick up and go to a nice dinner or a movie and make the best of a bad situation. Yes, we could be intimate, but as angry as I am right now I might take it out on j.

This whole thing makes me sad. I am, and have always been, a giving person. I think nothing of being their for my friends when they need me, and when Domina and anthony were having a rough time, I did everything I could to help them both. I talked/emailed/texted Domina for hours on end. I met with both of them and tried to help them reconcile.

Even after it seemed their relationship was drifting back towards "Vanillaville," I wanted to remain friends with Domina. As I have posted before, she is the type of person I would like to be friends with even if we did not share the common bond of being Dommes. The fact that we do is the icing on the cake.

j and I were both excited when it seemed that the D/s passion was back between them. We were happy for them, and happy for ourselves as well, since we had first met as a D/s couple seeking another D/s couple for friendship. And while part of me wants to just let the disappointment go and move on, I do not know if I can.

To their credit, they did try to shift things around to come out for a short time. But it seemed pointless, since they would be driving quite a bit for a short amount of time here, and really the offer to do that only came up after I got upset about them cancelling on us.

So here I am, dressed up and looking quite hot, and feeling not too unlike how I did two weeks ago when they left in the midst of a fantastic dinner to attend to a crisis. I really like both of them, j and I love spending time with them, but if their lives are in so much turmoil that they cannot keep their plans (or at least give a reasonable amount of notice), I am not sure that it is beneficial to continue on.

I Love Me

I love being a woman.
I love that I look sexy in heels.
I love putting on lipstick every morning.
I love spending time with my children.
I love playing Rock Band and Guitar Hero.
I love spanking my submissive.
I love taking a bubble bath.
I love the smell outside after it rains.
I love having my pussy licked.
I love watching silly cartoons.
I love laughing.
I love putting on warm clothes after I have been swimming
I love catching up with old friends.
I love my family.
I love taking j to the brink, and then not letting him get off.
I love going to the beach.
I love curling up on the couch.
I love being in control.
I love the smell of pumpkin pie.
I love wearing a strap-on.
I love my job.
I love playing games with my kids.
I love masturbating.
I love tickling j.
I love going on vacation.
I love a good glass of wine.
I love torturing j's balls.
I love me.

The Difference Between Being Dominant and Domineering

I think sometimes people confuse being Dominant with being Domineering. There is a big difference between the two. As a Dominant woman, I am assertive and powerful. I am not afraid to express my needs, and I expect that my submissive will be willing to put me first and foremost in his life. On the other hand, I always, always consider the needs of my sub. I keep his best interests in mind, and my actions reflect that.

People who are domineering bully others into getting their way. They scream, fuss, bark orders, throw fits, and push people around. In general, they are angry people. They don't consider the needs of those around them, but rather focus on their own needs wholeheartedly.

When I ask j to do something, I expect that he will do it, and he rarely disappoints me. I don't need to scream my orders, or whine about them. Rather, I simply tell him what I need from him. I am willing to occasionally make sacrifices for j, and I do that without regret. I laugh a lot- I enjoy life! And at the end of the night, I wrap my arms around my naked sub and feel blessed. And that is that this lifestyle is all about!

Yowzah!!

I was blessed today with some alone time with j. I decided to play with our Rimba electrosex unit a bit. I really like the feeling of control that it gives me, and it excites me to be able to straddle the line that separates pleasure from pain. By turning the knobs on the unit, I take j to a level of pleasure that is almost unfathomable- and then by turning them just a bit more his pleasure turns to pain.

But for today, it was all about pleasure for j- well, at least for a while!

With the electrodes strapped around his cock, I began turning the knobs on the Rimba. As the sensations overcame his body, he began to purr in pleasure. I sat between his outstretched legs and rubbed his asshole, slowly inserting my finger and applying pressure to his prostate. I then turned the Rimba up, very slowly, teasing him with the control I had over his body.

As I got closer to that extreme pleasure/pain threshold, his moans went from sporadic outburts to a continuous groan of pleasure. His hips lifted off the bed, and he asked me if I would allow him to cum. I allowed him, and his orgasm was extremely powerful.

Of course, I wasn't quite done with him yet! I got out my Wartenburg pinwheel and began scrolling it over his body. I ran it over his legs, his cock and balls, his stomach, chest and nipples. he kept jumping and yelping, reminding me of the little bitch that he is. Honestly, it is not that painful- more of a prickling/tickling sensation, but it makes him jump and I think he is afraid that I have the power to hurt him.

After coming down from his high, he gave me three very strong orgasms. I think he was surprised, when I allowed him to touch me, by how wet I was. I really do get off having control over his body, having the power to grant or deny him an orgasm at my whim.

Recap of a Great Evening with Friends

Last night our good friends Domina and anthony came out to see us. They thoughtfully made the drive to us, coming about an hour and a half, since we had both had crazy weeks here. It was great seeing them again! As usual, they both looked very nice, and Domina confessed that they barely made it to us without having to stop for a make-out session on the way. And while I did not confess it last night, j and I spent pretty much the entire day making out off and on. Seems that knowing we were going to be getting together with D and a got us both going!

While our night ended prematurely with a bit of a crisis involving one of anthony's children, a good time was had by all. I cannot being to describe how freeing it is to be able to be yourself completely, and know that you don't need to censor anything. We talked about so many things- from relationships and D/s, to food and Disney rides (yes, seriously!). I think I have written this before, but the great thing about Domina and anthony is that these are people I would choose to hang out with even if they were in a vanilla relationship- the fact that they share our D/s desires is the icing on the cake!

Even though the night was cut short, we are already planning our next get together. Domina posted on her blog this morning that the time we spend together brings up new conversations between her and anthony. I feel the same way. For us, it has been this way ever since we had our first chat online. Their relationship has spawned many ideas (for instance, j wearing panties every day is a direct result of anthony doing the same). I am sure that the more we get to know one another, the more our respective relationships will be enhanced.

Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

Last night, while j was having to work late, I instructed him to post to his blog. Considering that his role in much of the work he was doing was supervisory, I knew he would have time on his hands. Also, I assumed that since I had put his anklets back on, he might be feeling more submissive again.

I was more than a little disappointed when I read his post. His post was full of complaints about how busy life has been, and how the general chaos of life's events had prevented him from feeling submissive.

Just a few hours prior to him posting, I had put his anklets back on. I had also told him that our friends (who are also involved in the lifestyle) would be visiting on Saturday. His post did not touch on any of this. Honestly, I just felt confused. How could I be feeling so Dominant, and yet he not be feeling submissive? We have been in the lifestyle for a good length of time now, and for the most part, the more Dominant I am the more submissive he becomes (and vice versa).

I went to bed last night rather vexed. I shared my feelings with j before going to bed, but felt that if I slept on it I would feel better in the morning. I woke up this morning and for a few seconds it was like any other morning, and then- as if slapped in the face- I remembered his post. It had bugged me so much that I was still upset the next morning. We talked a bit about it before we went to work this morning, and some things were resolved.

I know that j was/is frustrated because he has been working long hours and has extra responsibilities. But I am entering a new profession entirely, and am working and going to school as well to get my Masters degree. Yes, he has a lot on him, but so do I! And if I can have a lot on me and still feel Dominant, why can't he have a lot on him and still feel submissive?

I must say that now, almost 24 hours later, I am feeling better. I know that j is struggling with everything that is going on in his life right now, and he is doing the best that he can to be the best husband he can to me. I reread his post today, for the third time. Part of his post was about how I had recently removed his cuffs for a few days because we would be visiting with family. He wrote:

"i noticed immediately the lightness of my feet and legs. i knew deep inside i felt incomplete. Sometimes it's really frustrating to have to put on these "masks" for other people."

While his post was not what I would have hoped for, these three sentences fill me with a lot of hope.

Exciting Weekend Ahead

It has been a long week for j and I (hence the lack of posting!). We have both been very busy at our respective jobs, with very little down time. Still, we have managed to keep the D/s flowing between us.

I had removed j's anklets last weekend when we went to visit my father. I knew he would be swimming, and I did not think it was appropriate for him to wear them. When we returned, I had not put them back on him. Don't get me wrong, I had not forgotten, I just really did not have time to put them back on him properly. It did not seem right to just slap them on. : ) j sweetly reminded me this morning, as he raised up his pant legs and said, "Mistress, my legs feel too light." It was very touching, as I know that j feels awkward asking for anything like this, since he feels it is my place to decide. I knew that for him to get to the point that he asked me about it, he must have been very desperate to have his anklets back on. Tonight I invited him into the bedroom and had him undress. I took his anklets out of the cabinet, and he got in the fetal position on the bed. I liked seeing him so vulnerable, it made the moment that much more intense for me. I put his anklets back on, then groped his body a bit. I played with his cock and testicles with my toes, squeezing them.

j has been very good to me this week. he has made (or offered to make) breakfast each morning, sent me roses at work, and has been getting our daughter off to school each day. I am very blessed to have such an attentive sub!

Now on to the purpose of this post... our friends Domina and anthony, who had pulled away from D/s due to some turmoil in their relationship, now seem to be embracing the lifestyle again. Domina asked us to join them for dinner this weekend, but I was not really sure if either of us would be up to it. She thoughtfully suggested that they come to us (saving us the drive). I decided this is just what we need after a week of working too hard- to be able to spend some time with our good friends, feeling free to be ourselves. I am really looking forward to it!

Domina is a fantastic Woman, and our friendship means a lot to me. When she told me that she and anthony were taking a break from D/s, I was disappointed. She is such a kindred spirit, and sharing our journeys together has made me stronger, and given me countless ideas of ways to dominate j. I am sure that our time together will be wonderful!

The Role of Women in Society, Now and In the Future

Throughout the years, women have been the caretakers of the family. They have birthed children, cared for them and molded them into young men and women. They have cared for the house, cleaning and cooking, laboring to meet the needs of others. They have submitted to the needs and desires of their husbands, both sexually and otherwise, as their own needs have gone overlooked.

But things are changing. No longer are women under the thumb of the man they are with. No longer are they restricted in the pursuit of their careers. No longer are they expected to drop everything at the whim of the man they are with. While society still has a ways to go in viewing and treating women with the respect and dignity they deserve, we are moving in the right direction.

Considering how far we, as a society, have come in the past hundred years, I wonder where we might be a hundred years from now. Will my female descendants oversee their husbands, much as I do mine? Will that be the norm? What about a hundred years from then? Will the present societies be gradually shifting towards matriarchal dominance?

While I would be content for women to achieve true equality, my desire would be that women realize their true power and do not settle for just being equal.

Birthday Challenge Results

The birthday challenge is officially over. j had five orgasms in 24 hours, which I believe is a first for him (though I think we came close when we were first dating). By the fifth, he had very little ejaculate left. he is now totally drained, both testicularly and physically. I was happy to have given him this gift of pleasure, but now play time is over! Back to MY pleasure!!

A Birthday Challenge

This is j's birthday weekend, and as part of birthday tradition I have allowed him to have sex with me in any way of his choosing for twenty-four hours. It seems like a fair trade to me- 364 days for me, one for him. Initially he had chosen for me to use numbing cream on him and ride him for as long as I pleased. He has altered his choice, however, and I am quite pleased with it. He has chosen to have me bring him to orgasm as many times as possible in a twenty-four hour period.

My best guess would be six orgasms, but honestly I have no idea how many he is capable of! I am already planning some chastity to begin after his birthday, lest he think that my spoiling him will continue.

I hope that twenty, thirty, even forty years from now we will still celebrate his birthday with such enthusiasm!

If One Sub Is Good...

There have been times that I have contemplated what it would be like to have another submissive, in addition to j. At first, it was something that I fantasized about. If one submissive was good, two would be even better, right? But over time, it became a serious consideration. I got to know one submissive a couple of years ago. I found him delightful, as our D/s interests meshed well. I did fear the impact that it would have on my relationship with j, and despite j's reassurance that he was fine with it, I ended things with him.

My blog has been increasing in popularity, and as the hits have increased I have begun being propositioned for all sorts of 'encounters'. Truthfully, I would never be interested in being a ProDomme, only because I highly value the emotional interchange that occurs in D/s relationships and imagine that would be very sparse (if not non-existent) during a one-time session. On the other hand, I really adore submissive men. They intrigue me, and I enjoy interacting with them.

While I am not considering a physical relationship with another man at this point, I do like the idea of getting to know another submissive, and developing the interplay - that is, if I find a submissive whose needs match mine. From there, I don't know where things might lead.

I have discussed this with j, and he has encouraged me. I don't think that j is into cuckoldry, but rather he longs for me to be pleased to the greatest extent possible. And for right now, that pleasure involves getting to know another submissive man, whoever he might be.

Ultimately this whole desire probably stems from wanting to develop a closeness to others who understand the way that I feel and think. Those who won't consider my behavior 'bitchy' or bossy, but rather assertive and Dominant. Nonetheless, it shall be interesting to see what, if anything, develops.

On an unrelated side note, j and I have begun work on the podcast. Hopefully our first episode will be ready soon.

Stripping Away the Whips and Chains

When people who are not part of the lifestyle envision a Dominant woman, they see a woman in black leather, boots, holding a whip and carrying a stern expression. They think Dominant women are manhaters, who are willing to abuse anything that has testicles attached to it. I think if more people were willing to look beyond the stereotypical whips and chains and consider the basis of the relationship they would see that it is one of the most perfect examples of a relationship centered on love and trust.

Consider most vanilla relationships: When hubby does something that upsets the wife, she bitches and whines about it. She behaves helplessly, expecting him to correct his behavior in order to shut her up. Sometimes this happens, but often it does not. Either way it creates resentment on both sides. The wife resents the husband because in order to get him to behave she has to whine and fuss. The husband resents the wife because he is a pawn in a game, trying to avoid or appease the unhappy wife. Neither spouse feels good about the other or the marriage.

Sadly, this dysfunctional behavior goes on for many years, at least until one party decides that enough is enough and moves on (usually to a new relationship that is just as dysfunctional as the first).

Why is it that women do not simply take control, and tell the men they are with their expectations? I posit that it is because women, even in today’s society, are viewed as the weaker sex. Even though most women now work outside the home (not to mention care for the children and the house) they are still not willing to stand up for themselves or their needs. They cater to the needs of their husbands and put their own feelings aside.

If more women were willing to simply follow the premise of a D/s relationship, sharing their wants and expectations and allowing their husbands to meet their needs, there would be far fewer unhappy couples. D/s is not about the spankings, handcuffs, or play; those are secondary. Primarily D/s is about allowing your partner to meet your needs and graciously accepting their love and devotion. Is that really such a difficult thing?

Looking for New D/s Friends

Several months ago, while surfing Craigslist, I came across an ad from a Femdom couple who were looking to meet another Femdom couple. I was very excited, as they were located relatively close to us and enjoyed similar activities (both hobbies/likes as well as kinks). After emailing back and forth a few times, we chatted online. Shortly thereafter we met in person, for dinner and drinks. The meeting was a lot of fun, and once we all were comfortable with each other the conversation became quite revealing. It was so nice to be able to relax and be ourselves around others, especially knowing that they shared our desire for a female-led relationship.

We have continued getting to know them better over the past few months, but sadly they are struggling quite a bit in their relationship and lives and have decided to put aside their D/s interests until things settle down for them. While we are certainly still friends with them, I am sad that the sole couple that we are completely open with has put their common bond with us on hiatus. Which puts me on my current quest- to find another couple who shares our Femdom interests and lifestyle.

Before I met our friends I did not realize the value of bonding with a couple who shares similar passions. Now that their paths have diverged from ours, I am missing the familiarity and comradery.

Passionate Loving, In Small Amounts

Our weekend was fairly busy. We took our children on a hike in the woods, and were met with a torrential downpour, soaking us by the time we made it to the car. Still, it was a nice trip- and I am certain the rain will make it memorable for many years to come. We had some errands to run, and things around the house to be taken care of. Still, we made time for D/s in bits and pieces here and there.

I went into our bedroom to work on my blog, and j sweetly followed me in. I have found that as he has become even more submissive he does not want to be away from my presence. Since he was with me, I instructed him to strip and lay beside me in bed. While I typed away on a blog entry, I had him stroke his cock. I paid him very little mind, but made sure that I took my time writing my post. As he stroked, I would occasionally lean over and run my finger over the tip of his cock so that it was covered in pre-cum. Each time I would then put my finger in his mouth and he would suck it off. j is very turned off by the idea of eating his cum, but I love teasing him by making him eat his pre-cum. It is yet another sign of the control I have over him.

It had been nearly a week since j was allowed release, and I was feeling incredibly aroused myself. I climbed on top of his cock and began riding him. I must admit, it felt spectacular! I had not allowed him to enter me for probably a month, and while I had achieved many orgasms in the interim, I had not had the feeling of his member in me.

As I have posted about before, j can climax very, very easily (and usually pretty quickly). Within a minute or so of me riding him (vigorously, I might add!) he was close. I pulled myself up, so that just the very tip of him remained inside of me. After a bit, I began again. I knew he would not be able to hold off much longer, and after his hard work this week I decided to reward him by allowing him to cum inside of me. It was no doubt something he cherished, as he thrashed around on the bed and grabbed me to hold me closer.

I was still quite aroused afterwards, and placed his hand on my wetness. he began rubbing me, playing with my clit, and making me even wetter. I delayed my orgasm for as long as I could- I wanted him to work for it! Finally, I allowed the feelings to culminate into a powerful climax.

Later on in the weekend I gave j the privilege of licking my womanhood. he devoured me like a hungry animal, licking away vigorously, and becoming drunk from my juices. he seemed quite honored to have been given that privilege.

Even though neither one of these encounters was a blatant representation of our D/s relationship (or our kink), they were both very fulfilling. And despite not having ample time alone, we made the most of the time we had. j's devotion to me, and the exhilaration that he shows when allowed to touch me, heightens my sexuality.

I hope he enjoyed our lovemaking, as I have other plans for him this week which I'm sure will not be nearly as pleasurable!

On Romance

Ask fifty different people to define romance and you will surely get fifty different answers. Merriam-Webster defines the verb romance as "to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery". I'm not sure how much I like that definition, since I feel that romance should be used to express love, and not to try to influence someone's behavior.

This morning, j posted on his blog Serving My Mistress about romance (or the lack thereof) in our relationship. he is correct that I expect more from him in this area.

The truth is, I know j loves me deeply and passionately. I know our love transcends Dominance and submission. I don't need j to behave in a romantic manner in order to prove his love for me. But I expect that he will occasionally demonstrate his love in the form of a surprise date, thoughtful note or a small gift - without me explicitly asking him to do these things.

Don't get me wrong- j spoils me in many ways. he is always rubbing my back, running his fingers through my hair, and helping me in any way I request. I wish he would realize that romance need not be contrived or laborious. Simple expressions of love would go far!

Chastity- Device or Not?

I own j's orgasms. They were a gift, given to me for my birthday several years ago. Definitely not your traditional birthday gift, but as I opened the jewelry box which contained the keys to a CB-3000 I was elated. While I had owned his orgasms since we entered into a D/s relationship, now I could know with complete certainty that he would not receive pleasure unless I granted it to him.

For a while I relied on his CB device to ensure that he was not pleasuring himself. But over time, as I grew into my Dominance and he submitted to me more, I realized that the CB device was not necessary. j knows he cannot touch himself without permission, and he does not want to disappoint me. I trust wholeheartedly that he would not disobey me. But that is not to say that we have put the CB-3000 away!

I still use the CB-3000 with j as a punishment or a reminder of his submissiveness when he gets a little cocky (pardon the pun!). I enjoy locking him into the device, partly because it increases his desperation. he does not enjoy being locked up and finds it to be a bit uncomfortable, all the more reason to use it as a punishment.

I view chastity devices the same way I view using handcuffs, or rope. Sure, I could place j in the position that I want him in and order him not to move. But the handcuffs/rope are a more intense reminder- and he looks sexy as hell in them! And it is nice to know that, were j to ever consider disobeying, he would not have the option.

Leaving My Mark On him

At the height of a powerful orgasm, it is not unusual for me to bite or scratch j. I am rarely aware that I am doing it until his yelps of pain bring me back from a screaming and moaning high to reality. Since delving into D/s and exploring the infliction of a bit of pain to heighten sexuality, I have noticed I feel more free during sex. Instead of being careful and restraining myself a bit when I climax, I freely allow my body to respond naturally and embrace the passion that I am feeling.

Scratching and biting during sex seems rather primal, something that animals do as part of their mating ritual. It is a female subconsciously (or consciously) marking her territory, her lust and passion leaving a physical reminder on her man. The Kama Sutra considers scratching during sex an art form, and views the marks left as 'souvenirs' of intense passion.

I enjoy seeing the marks I leave on j. They remind me of the power and control I have over his body. Just as his collar is a representation of his submission to me, so too are the marks I have inflicted.

Introducing Female Domination to the Vanilla Partner

Over the past few days I have been looking at quite a few Femdom blogs and websites. There are many themes that seem to repeat themselves over and over- the ebb and flow of D/s relationships, chastity, punishments... but something that came up surprisingly often was submissive men who were trying to introduce D/s to their wife and make their marriage a Female led one.

In our marriage, the transition came about rather smoothly. Actually, j confessing that he wanted me to take control came as a relief to me. I had struggled for a long time feeling like he was not interested in me sexually since he would never initiate sex. I have always been open-minded, and embraced the idea of a Female-led marriage wholeheartedly.

If approached in the right way, I think most women would be receptive to a Female-led marriage (or relationship). If approached, the wrong way, both parties could feel alienated and it can bring about a huge rift in the relationship. For instance, in our vanilla days had my husband said to me, "Sweetheart- I want you to tie me up, spank me and then do me with a strap-on!" I would have been appalled. Even though that sounds like an exciting evening now- at that point in my life the idea would have been seemed far too much for me to take.

So what IS the right way to approach a woman about your needs? I think there is a nice, gentle progression and if followed correctly I believe most women would be receptive to this type of relationship.

• Take some responsibilities off your wife's shoulders. Do the laundry, make dinner, pick up after yourself so that she doesn't have to, do the dishes. When your wife notices and asks why you are doing these things, do NOT say, "Because I want to be your little French maid, taking care of all your needs." DO say, "Because I love you and see how much you do for me. I want you to have time to relax and enjoy yourself.

• Now that you have taken more responsibility around the house, start doing thoughtful, caring things for your wife. Bring her a glass of wine in the evening, get her small gifts (a rose, a copy of a new book from her favorite author), get her a card and write in it how much you love her. When she asks why you are giving her so much attention, do NOT say , "I am giving you lots of attention because I want to do everything for you. I want to be your pet, your footstool, your chauffer, your pedicurist." DO say, "I care about you and want to make you happy. I love nothing more than seeing you smile."

By doing these first few things for a period of time (a month or so), you have given your wife a sense of Dominance. She has learned to expect you to meet some of her needs, and she is surely appreciating all of the extra help you are giving her.

• Begin focussing on her needs in the bedroom. Massage her, rub her back, play with her hair, and give her plenty of physical affection. When you are intimate, focus only on her orgasm. Allow her to lay back and relax as you lick her body and taste her. Enjoy her and luxuriate in the woman that she is. If she wants to make love to you and you get to have an orgasm, great. If not, hold her and rub her back as she drifts off to sleep. She will likely ask why you are not worried about your own orgasm. Do NOT say, "You are my Goddess and for you I will lock my cock up for the next year and never touch it again." DO say, "I love your body so much and you deserve all the pleasure that I can give you. My needs are secondary to yours."

By now she likely has some idea the direction that you are going with things, and quite frankly- at this point you ARE in a Female-led marriage (even if you haven't yet discussed it).

• Now is the time to sit down and share your feelings with your wife. Tell her how much you have enjoyed meeting some of her needs, and that you wish you had done those things for her all along. Explain to her how much you love her, and tell her that you want to serve her. Explain to her what you want, but not in D/s terms. Do NOT use the words D/s, BDSM, Dominance, Mistress, whip, beating, etc. Do tell her that you want her to have the control in the marriage, and that if you fail to meet her needs you want her to hold you accountable.

The basic idea is that a marriage cannot go from vanilla one day to D/s the next, even in the best of circumstances. Springing your list of personal kinks on your wife is going to get you nothing, and frankly is not behavior that is appropriate of any submissive. Allowing your relationship to progress slowly towards a FemDom marriage is the best bet.

The statements that I have come up with to share with your wife/partner are not meant to be used word for word, as it is important for you to speak from your heart. The point I am trying to make is that introducing your wife into the D/s world should be a gentle, loving expression of your submission to Her and desire to meet Her needs, not an expectation that she will instantly embrace your kink.

A Little CBT Fun

Last night I decided to have some CBT fun. It had been a while since I had been able to tease and torture j's cock and balls. I had told j to stroke his cock several times during the day at work, but not have an orgasm. I knew that this would greatly heighten his desire and sensitivity.

When we got in bed, I began kissing him, rubbing my body up against him. Within moments he was hard, and I smacked his balls with some force. he jumped, but then went back to moaning as I stroked his cock a bit. I alternated between smacking his balls and stroking him, and then went to our toy cabinet and retrieved a handful of clothespins, his cock ring and my rubber whip. I had him put his cock ring on (which was quite a feat, considering his cock and balls were already quite engorged.

Once his cock ring was on, I swatted his cock, balls and thighs several times with the rubber whip. The whip looks quite menacing, but produces a mild to moderate sting. That sensation, though, is most definitely heightened on his swollen and sensitive cock and balls! he squirmed about on the bed, moaning from the sensations I was giving him.

Again I stroked his cock and rubbed his balls. his cock felt harder than ever before. I told him that I wanted to allow him some pleasure as a reward for his hard work lately, but that I needed to give him some more pain first. I took the clothespins and put them on his scrotum. After I put them on, I wiggled them around a bit, pulling them and moving them about. I swatted him several more times with the rubber whip, and then began to stroke his cock. he was desperate for an orgasm, and I graciously allowed him one. his cum shot all over my hand and his stomach.

While I enjoy extended periods of orgasmic denial for j from time to time, I also like giving him orgasms. I like having the complete control of his body- making him earn the orgasm by pleasing me. When he finally earns it, I make sure he enjoys it, but only on my terms!

Video of Anorgasmic Ejaculation

j has been ordered several times over the past few weeks to masturbate for me while he is at work, bringing his body close to the point of orgasm. I enjoy knowing that he is stroking himself, thinking about my body and submitting to me. I also like that it keeps him very aroused and ready to submit, eager to try and earn my touch.

Recently I posted about anorgasmic ejaculation, where the male is brought to the point of orgasm and ejaculates but does not have an orgasm. For the most part, his erection remains, and his level of desire is heightened even more. There is no feeling of release, but rather a feeling of increased frustration.

j has been sending me videos to prove that he is following my direction. I do not require this of him, but he enjoys making them for me, and I enjoy watching him obey me from afar. Today's video is an example of anorgasmic ejaculation. At the end of the video, you will hear him whisper, "That's two." It was his second time completing that task for me today. What a good boy he is!

he May Be Little, but I Love him

I regrouped after I posted my message yesterday, and today I am feeling much better. I am happy to say that I woke up this morning feeling recharged, happy, and most importantly- Dominant! (insert sexy growl here!!) I spent some time catching up on all the great blogs I follow. Reading them always fills me with ideas of things to try with j.

A few days ago I was writing about our evening the night before, retelling how I used a double-ended dildo in both j and myself. It was a particularly intense night for both of us, and when recounting it I forgot something that was quite significant. During the height of passion I had teased j quite intensely about how the double-ended dildo gave me a nice, long cock to fill myself with, rather than his little one. While j has never been much for humiliation, my teasing and taunting him really sent us both over the edge.

j came home to join me for lunch today, and I sent him back to work with a little assignment. He is to masturbate almost to the point of orgasm three times this afternoon. That should leave his balls aching by the time he gets home. I have a little cock and ball torture planned for tonight, and will be taking pictures to post for all to see. Maybe the weekend was a bust, but Monday night is shaping up to be terrific!

Bummer Weekend

Our weekend has not gone as planned, and I am feeling pretty disappointed. I had hoped for a weekend of playing, lots of sex and just some much-needed D/s time. Unfortunately, my body did not cooperate. My period started, leaving me feeling not at all sexual. Right now I'm feeling pretty miserable.

After realizing my needs and plans for the weekend were not going to be met, I went into salvage mode and started catering to j's needs. he had been mentioning recently that he wanted to watch more movies (something I am not usually in the mood to do), so we went out and rented a couple of movies. They were actually pretty enjoyable, but I couldn't help but think this is not what I wanted, not how I planned things.

I tried, up until this morning, to salvage things as much as possible. j remained in his collar and my panties, and he gave me a foot massage and pedicure, both of which were very nice. I know he felt disappointed by the weekend as well.

This morning I fell apart, crying and telling j that the weekend had been a waste. It had- but not just because there was no sex. Just as there is a subspace, I think there is a 'Dommespace' too. I am there most of the time- I truly enjoy controlling j, having him submit to my needs and desires, taking him and using him sexually. But every now and then I come plummeting out of 'Dommespace,' and that is where I am right now. Sitting in bed, feeling sad and sorry for myself, and wishing j would realize that sometimes I just need to be held and have someone tell me they understand how I am feeling.

Weekend Plans

I am looking forward to an exciting weekend with j! My daughter will be spending the weekend with my sister, which means we will be unrestricted in our D/s activities for 48 hours! (Those of you with small children will understand my enthusiasm)

Tonight will be dinner out, and while I was hoping to get together with our D/s friends, it doesn't look like that is going to happen. So it will be just us, which is probably better anyway. There is a lot going on in our lives, and our time alone is so limited that I really do cherish it.

This weekend will be about j meeting my needs. he will spend the weekend clad only in my panties, his collar and anklets. During this time he will give me a much-needed pedicure, clean the house, and of course serve me sexually. I am sure there will be no lack of things to post about!

I decided last night that, since I had allowed j the privilege of orgasm the night before, I needed to heighten his level of arousal. After we retired to the bedroom, I instructed him to stroke his cock. he did this for quite some time, while I did some work on the computer. For the most part I ignored him, glancing at him occasionally and listening to his ragged breathing. At one point I told him to stroke it faster, and he did- his hand going up and down his cock with furious speed. Once I was confident that he was sufficiently aroused, we went to sleep. (While I enjoy keeping j aroused by masturbation on a regular basis, I must give credit to subservient husband for mentioning this in one of his comments. his Wife requires this of him on a daily basis- something that would have j climbing the walls, begging for release for sure!)

Time for a nice, long bath. It will give me time to consider all that I have planned for j!

An Intense Evening

j has been spending a lot of time at work lately, and conversely I have a couple of weeks off. Due to his extended time at work, I have cut him some slack in his household responsibilities and have been doing many of them myself. But, as men tend to do, j has taken advantage of this situation a bit! I knew a punishment for j was in order.

Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time reading Femdom blogs, and was feeling very aroused. I texted j at work telling him that I wanted him to masturbate until he was right at the point of climax, and then stop. A bit later I received an email from him, with a video of him masturbating at work. It was very hot- and I got wet listening to his breathing and light moans as he stroked his cock, and then watching him stop- unsatisfied.

The evening was fairly uneventful, and I was considering just going to sleep. As I climbed in to bed, I thought about why I was so tired: I had spent a good part of the day doing his chores around the house. The anger began to build in me and I knew I had to punish him immediately. he was laying on his back, naked, and I climbed on top of him, straddling him. I kissed him several times, rubbing my pussy against his cock. After my juices were flowing, I got off of him and instructed him to get on his hands and knees on the bed.

I went to our toy cabinet and retrieved my crop, as well as my double-ended dildo and some lube. I asked j if he had been attentive to my needs and he admitted that he had not. I began slapping his ass with the crop- harder than I usually do. Within seconds his ass was glowing red. I continued to beat his ass, feeling my wetness increase as his ass reddened. While j has learned to tolerate a fair amount of pain, several slaps had him gasping.

When I was done punishing him, I told him to lay down on his back. I got between his legs and began fingering his ass, rubbing his prostate with my finger. I asked him how he felt, and he said he felt like my puppet, completely in my control. It was a good answer! As I continued rubbing his prostate, his cock began to leak a bit. I took my finger and rubbed the fluid over the head of his cock, causing him to moan loudly. We hadn't had a lot of anal play recently, so I contemplated not using the dildo on him, but decided that he would just have to deal with it! With a bit of effort, his ass accepted the double-ended dildo, and I began pumping it in and out of him.

I inserted the other end of it into my now very wet pussy, thrusting my hips and pushing our bodies together. He held tight to my legs, and my thrusts pushed the dildo farther into both his ass and my pussy. It didn't take long for me to have a very loud, intense orgasm. j was moving his body about, trying to get some sensation from his cock, and I grabbed the part of the dildo that was between our bodies. With my hand on it, I had greater control, and I used it to fuck him hard (as I continued to fuck myself with it). After another orgasm, I was took the dildo out of my pussy, but left it in his ass. I continued to fuck him with it, harder still, his moans exciting and encouraging me.

j began to beg me to let him cum. his begging turns me on quite a bit, but is something he usually does not do unless I tell him to. At this point he was so desperate that I think he got over his distaste of begging! His entire body began to shake, and I decided to tease him even more. As I continued to pound his ass with the dildo, I stroked his cock- I would stroke it for about two seconds and then stop for a bit, then start again for a couple seconds, continuing this pattern until I was sure he could not take much more. I decided to let him cum- not for his pleasure but for mine. I enjoy watching him cum, especially after anal play since it is so powerful and copious. he came with great force, thrusting his entire body and spasming and moaning in pleasure.

After we both came down for our orgasmic and D/s highs, we spent some time in bed holding each other and talking. Even after his great orgasm he remained aroused, as did I. he promised me he would be more attentive, and I believe he will, as I am sure he is not looking forward to another cropping!

For those of you wanting a male perspective of this night, my sub posted his report of our evening on his blog, Serving My Mistress.

Prostate Stimulation & Milking

In our early D/s days, I wanted j to learn to appreciate and crave anal stimulation. I purchased him a prostate stimulator, namely the Aneros. The idea behind the Aneros is that the man can stimulate his prostate himself, by inserting the Aneros and rhythmically contracting the pelvic muscles. The contractions force the Aneros to apply pressure directly on the prostate. The device itself is relatively small, about the size of a finger and once inserted it stays in place.

I have milked j with the Aneros and also with my finger(s). Both are equally effective. At one point I had j in his chastity device for an extended period of time as a punishment for masturbation. Milking him drained him of his seminal fluid while not giving him (much) pleasure. This is important to do with some regularity during extended periods of chastity to maintain prostate health. While prostate stimulation is often used to make a man dry without giving him the pleasure of an orgasm, it can also be used to intensify the orgasm.

Prostate stimulation and milking is a big turn-on of mine. I love pushing j's button, literally, and watching as he tries in desperation to stimulate his cock in some way. Most times when I milk him, I have him tied up or at least cuffed, so he is completely vulnerable. he often bucks his hips up and down repeatedly, trying to get his cock to tap against his abdomen and give him some sort of sensation.

The Aneros is something we revisit from time to time, and I am always thrilled with the results!

Proper Training of Men, Submissive or Not

A lot of my 'vanilla' friends ask me why it is that j treats me so well, and how they can find a man who will treat them that way. Even though few of them know the nature of our relationship, I tell them that it is important to train your man so that he knows how to meet your needs. I believe that most men truly want to please their lover, but they simply do not know how.

Even though j is very attentive, I have needed to train him in many areas. The first time he gave me a pedicure it was a mess! There was fingernail polish all over my toes and he hurt me several times in the process. Did I give up on the idea of him doing my nails? Nope! I instructed him to look online and read up on how to give a proper pedicure. I also asked him to go out and purchase the necessary implements. The next time he gave me a pedicure, it was much better! Now, he can do it as well as any professional. So, Women of the world, do not give up on your men! Take the time to teach them how to please you and you will reap the rewards!

Anorgasmic Ejaculation

Anorgasmic ejaculation... the name sounds pretty clinical, but even less clinical than the other name for it, ejaculatory anhedonia. Basically, anorgasmic ejaculation is ejaculating without any feelings of release or pleasure. This is something that I discovered when playing with j a few months ago. I love teasing him, taking him right to the brink of orgasm, then waiting for him to calm down a bit before doing it again. Occasionally, when I do this with him, he will ejaculate without orgasm.

The whole thing is rather anti-climactic (pardon the pun!), with the semen leaking out of his penis with very little force. While it generally is the same amount of semen as when he has an orgasm, it takes at least thirty seconds to slowly leak out. j maintains an erection even after the ejaculation, and is left drained but without release.

The first time this happened, I was quite unhappy with j. I had not given him permission for release, and felt angry that he could not control his body. After reading more about anorgasmic ejaculation, it has become a goal of mine. I enjoy watching him cum, but I feel that an orgasm should be a rare treat for him. Now I can have my cake and eat it too!

Which brings me to Sunday morning... j and I were snuggling in bed, enjoying each other's bodies. I instructed him to go get me some rope. I laid him on his back and wrapped the rope several times around his scrotum and penis, pulling it taut, and then several more times around his penis alone, tying it off at the top. I teased him quite a bit this way, slapping his balls- occasionally quite hard. I rubbed the head of his penis, and alternated between using a vibrator on myself and touching it to his cock. It seemed that each time I allowed him a bit of stimulation he made it to the brink of orgasm in just a few seconds. After playing for a while in this way (and having a couple great orgasms myself), he ejaculated without orgasm. It was rather erotic, watching the cum drain from his penis, yet his body felt no release.

A final note- when I allow j to have an orgasm, he almost immediately becomes less attentive to my needs. When he ejaculates without orgasm, he is even more attentive. It seems it is the ultimate tease and denial- so close that his biological functions took over, with no pleasure for him!

Silky and Sexy

Ever since one of j's transgressions several months ago, he has been wearing my panties each day. Initially this punishment was to last a month, but I decided that I like it so much, it is here to stay. he also washes my panties by hand, usually a few times a week. Initially he was rather slack about this, but now has become quite the little panty-washer! I may never go back to using the washing machine for my delicates again!

During the time our daughter was away at camp, j came home each day, removed all of his clothes (except for his panties), and put on his training collar. It pleased me that he did this without any prompting from me. his anklets arrived early this week, and the combination of anklets, panties and a collar was almost too much for me to take. I could barely keep my hands off of him.

We had played around with forced feminization in the past, but it seemed like it did not do much for either one of us. The idea has become more appealing to me recently, and I credit at least some of that with our friends Domina and anthony. Reading their ventures into feminization really piqued my interest. This is yet another area where we are learning and growing deeper in our Dominance and submission.

I keep the house rather cool, and j told me he was feeling cold and asked if he could put on a shirt. I told him I would get him something. I laughed to myself as I went down the hall to our bedroom. I was going to get him something to wear, but he wasn't going to like it! I found a silky gold pajama top and handed it to him. To my surprise, j happily put it on, and looked really good in it. The combination of the collar, anklets and silky top and panties was just.... hot! I was surprised the next night when he asked if he could wear it again. Of course I allowed it.

It's nice that we are both learning and becoming even more comfortable in our roles. There is nothing better than exploring desires and sexuality with a loving partner.

Third Time's the Charm

While for the most part our sex life is disaster-free, every once in a while something happens and leaves me feeling less than satisfied. This time it was actually rather humorous (at least after the fact), and once all problems were resolved was amazing.

I had purchased the Rimba, as well as the Electro Penis Strap to use on j. The first time I used it on him I was just excited to see what would happen. I dragged him in to the bedroom, had him put the Penis Strap on, and hooked him up to the Rimba. At this point I felt it was best to let him play with the controls and get accustomed to the feeling. He played for a while, but struggled with positioning the straps correctly. He was not maintaining an erection, and the strap kept sliding up. Realizing it was probably just a lack of foreplay, and giving him control of the device, I called the experiment off and told him we would play with it another night. (Strike one)

Sunday night I decided to try it again. This time I was going to be in charge of the controls. I instructed him to put the Penis Strap on, and began to turn up the controls. Almost immediately he began moaning, and I reached over to caress his thighs, brushing up against his balls. When I pulled my hand away, it felt funny. I looked down and there was blood on my hand. After turning off the device, I found that he had scraped his scrotum when he was putting the device on, and the pressure caused had him bleeding. After realizing he was fine and calming down, it was actually kind of funny. Unfortunately, it was not very conducive to maintaining an intimate night. But somehow I overcame those feelings, and had him licking my pussy, bringing me to a mind-blowing orgasm. It was the best one I have had in quite some time, with me screaming so loud that now, two days later, my throat is still a bit sore!

Last night I was determined we were going to make the Rimba work. After getting him the penis strap on him (and ensuring he was not bleeding this time : ) I began turning up the strength. Initially his moans were soft, but as I turned up the power higher his moans became greater and his entire body tensed. he reached back and grabbed on to the headboard of the bed, his hands grabbing so tightly that his knuckles were white. This went on for quite a while- I would turn up the Rimba until he was in pain, and then back it off just slightly to where it was bringing him strong, pleasurable sensations. Every few minutes I would back the intensity off, then heighten it again.

I had determined in advance that I would let him have an orgasm, but only if he could reach it completely hands-free. I was not sure if he was going to be able to do it. I decided to try and push up the intensity a bit, very slowly taking him beyond the threshold between pleasure and pain. Ever so slightly I turned the Rimba up. At this point the muscles in his legs were contracting and his moans were very loud. After a few minutes at this very high intensity his moans turned into screams, and he was finally met with the release he desired.

It was one of the most intense D/s moments we have ever had. The power and control I had in my hand with the Rimba was wonderfully exhilarating, and I loved watching his entire body affected by the sensations he was feelings. The Rimba will definitely be a regular plaything for us!

Time For Us

It is not very often that j and I have time completely alone. We do quite well considering that our only time for intimacy is late at night, after our daughter is in bed. Since our time alone is so limited, I really appreciate any time like this that we get. Our daughter left today for camp. For the next four nights there will be no knocks on the door, no one asking for dessert, to help put up their hair, or lunches to pack. It was sad to see her go, and I got a little weepy as we left, but damn- I am SO ready to have my wonderfully submissive man all to myself!

I hope that in the time we have alone we will be able to reignite the D/s sparks. Maintaining a D/s relationship is tough at times, and like all relationships it requires work. I remember when j and I first started to incorporate D/s into our marriage. Initially it was just something that we did in the bedroom. It was fun, exciting, and like getting a new toy! But for me, it was never enough for it just to be a sexual thing. Right away I knew that I wanted it to be 24/7. I wanted to be j's Domme all the time, in the bedroom or not. I know a relationship like this is not for everyone, but for us it is very comfortable and natural.

I look forward to a week of love, romance, bondage, discipline, sensuality, orgasms, and lots and lots of sex. I am grateful that I have a wonderful partner with which to share this time.

It's Shocking!

When j and I recently went over our list of D/s interests, one of the interests he expressed was electrical stimulation. he had mentioned it in the past, but we had never done anything about it. Being unfamiliar with e-stim, I took to the internet. Unlike some of the areas of D/s, there was not a whole lot out there about electrical stimulation, but what I did find intrigued me and I decided to add it to our D/s repertoire.

Today I received a packing containing (amongst other things) a Rimba electrical stimulation device. I decided I would use it on myself before using it on j. As much as possible I try and do this, since I think it is important for a Domme to be aware of the sensations she is producing/inflicting. The Rimba itself is very plain looking. It's pretty much just a black box with some knobs on it. It came with some clamps as well as electrode pads. In addition to the Rimba TENS unit, I had ordered some electrode conductive gel as well as a Dual Contact Electro Penis Strap (now doesn't that sound intimidating?!).

The directions that came with it not very helpful, but the Rimba website online had some pretty good information. I must admit I was pretty nervous, and I decided that for safety's sake I would try it on my leg first. I put two of the pads on my lower leg. Slowly I began to turn up the intensity. Initially I felt.... nothing. But as I got the intensity higher I felt a gentle tingling. As I turned the knob even higher, the sensation became stronger and went from tingling to a tapping sensation. Oddly, it does not feel that the sensation is coming from the skin but rather from deeper within the body. It is tough to describe! It does not feel in the least bit electrical. There is no shock sensation, or zapping, or anything like that.

Since the experiment on my leg went well, I decided to try it in a more intimate area. I really wasn't prepared for this! Had I known it was going to feel so good I probably would have gotten the electro dildo (which also sounds terrifying). I knew I couldn't put the pad on my clit as it is important for the pad to have complete contact or zapping sensations can occur, and I certainly do not want my clit to be zapped!! I put one pad on each side of my labia, touching the base of my clit at the bottom. I started the Rimba up, and at a much lower intensity than on my leg I could feel the pulsing sensations. It is so hard to describe how it feels, except to say that I immediately became very wet. I played with the settings on the Rimba unit, and the sensations changed significantly. At one point I went to turn it down and accidently turned it in the opposite direction. I nearly jumped off the bed!

After playing with the Rimba for a while, I was so aroused. It was slightly frustrating as the stimulation could take me right to the edge of an orgasm, but not quite there completely. Nonetheless, a few taps on my clit and I was over the edge, moaning and writhing on the bed.

I cannot wait to use the Rimba on j and watch his reaction to it. For anyone who has not yet tried electrical stimulation, it is definitely worth it!